You know, I think this confirms why you’re becoming one of my favorite new Dopers.
Choice is great and I applaud her for making her choice. But my point is, she made her choice, and now she is complaining about a whole slew of circumstances that are directly and indirectly related to that choice. Since she started a pit thread complaining about it, that gives me the “right” to say that, in my opinion, if she is so unhappy over her circumstances, then she probably made the wrong choice.
I don’t feel anything whatsoever, because usually their argument is based on religious reasons, which I don’t subscribe to, or on a belief that a 4- or 5-week-old embryo is a human being or a “life,” which I don’t agree with. To me, my abortion was no worse than my yearly pap smear. Like I said before, there are only a precious few things in life we have real control over, and reproduction is one of them. If we don’t utilize our control, which we are so fortunate to have, then I guess we’re just floating through the cosmos, helpless, aren’t we?
Nobody should be allowed to have a baby unless they are rich enough to shrug off unpredictable $50K medical costs with no ill effects.
Actually, even that doesn’t go far enough, since medical costs could potentially be even higher.
So: Nobody should be allowed to have a baby unless they have wealthy benefactors who can take care of them if unpredictable medical costs wipe them out.
Even better would be if we just summarily executed anyone who incurs unpredictable expenses, but we might not be quite ready for that solution, yet.
Holy shit, are you ever a world class cunt. Well, bless your dear little heart!
She DID finish college, and she DID have a career, but she chose to keep her child. You chose an abortion. I thought the whole point of being pro-choice was, oh, I dunno, it’s about CHOICE?
Why must you constantly enter threads only to drop trou and take a big steaming dump?
I would like to nominate this for one of the best ass-handings seen on these boards for quite awhile.
Well done, bodypoet, the smug little bitch had it coming.
Honestly, I’m as pro-choice as they come but I would never treat something as life-altering as a pregnancy and abortion as flippantly as she did or dare to tell someone all of their problems could’ve been avoided if she’d just aborted her pregnancy. Sweet christ, can you be any more callous?
nyctea, honey, something tells me your awesome, fabulous life is gonna be shaken up a bit and you’ll soon discover having such a charmed little life is a gift that can be lost in an instant. Karma can be a real bitch that way.
I know it comes across that way, and I knew when I posted that, that it would not make me very popular. But it’s how I feel. Various things in my life have shaped my opinion on the subject. I have many friends and acquaintences who have really damaged their lives because they “accidentally” got knocked up (or knocked someone up) and due to emotional/religious reasons - and not logical and rational reasons - did not take advantage of their right to choose abortion. To me, it seems like such a crying shame that these friends gave up so much opportunity, so many things, and now have to struggle to make ends meet and to be happy, when all of that could have been so easily avoided. It would be one thing if they just damaged their own lives… but it is compounded exponentially because by damaging their lives, the new human being being brought into it has fewer chances, choices, opportunities, resources, etc. And that is just not cool on any level.
I believe that the most important and serious thing you could do in life is to create a new life. With such a serious thing, I think it absolutely, definitely, 100% should be planned. If you don’t plan accordingly, then don’t be surprised when your life gets rough.
Maybe so, but it isn’t going to be because of an unplanned pregnancy! You won’t see me in the pit complaining about circumstances that came about because of an unplanned child - something which is firmly within my control. Like I said, your reproduction is something you can control. So control it! If you choose not to, then accept whatever comes because of that. If that makes me sound callous, then call me callous. I think I am just a realist and try not to allow emotions to govern my most important decisions.
So if my life gets “shaken up a bit,” and I am here complaining about it in the pit, then it will be because of something that is outside of my control, like a drunk driver runs me down, or my cow-worker or boss is being an asshole, or someone gets in the 12-items or less line with 13 items.
Do you really not see a difference between:
“My life sucks, can I have a hug?”
and:
“My life sucks, it’s society’s fault, and can I have a hug?”
One of the above will result in a hug, the other will result in a mix of hugs and derision.
It must be nice to be perfect. Especially before 30. Funny, I got over that whole judgmental, arrogant phase by about 25, wonder when you will. :rolleyes:
Uh… maybe having the baby and keeping it does make ink happy. In fact, that sounds like the case to me, that despite the other problems she still loves her son. But I guess you would know who is truly happy, you with your facts and figures about who makes an acceptable parent and your oh so perfect life which you could only achieve with the help of an abortion. So let’s all be like you and get abortions so we can have perfect lives too, even if that is not our CHOICE.
I am all for family planning but I am even more for respecting people’s choices and not talking down to them like a sanctimonious little bitch. Sometimes you may not know if you want something until it falls into your lap. There really is such a thing as a “happy accident,” and just because yours wasn’t happy doesn’t mean that someone else can’t reach a different conclusion. And what the fuck is wrong with using your emotions to guide your decisions? Are you a robot? If income + life experiences + material objects != minimum life awesomeness standard of fifty comfort-points or above then ABORT! ABORT!
Well, maybe you should have looked both ways before crossing the street and then that drunk driver wouldn’t have had the opportunity to hit you. I always look both ways before crossing the street, you should try it yourself sometime and then you wouldn’t have these problems. As for your asshole co-worker and boss… umm, have you considered quitting and finding a better job? I very carefully considered the personalities of all my co-workers and my boss before taking my current job, maybe if you had done the same you wouldn’t be in the situation you now find yourself in. You have to take responsibility for your own actions, you know. And the person getting in line with 13 items really shouldn’t bother you as much as it did. I started taking Zen meditation classes and ever since then petty annoyances like that don’t affect me. If you did the same your life would be immeasurably better and you wouldn’t have to blame other people for all your problems.
It just revolts me to see someone complaining about all these things that could easily have been avoided if they just could have run their life exactly the way I do. I mean, really.
Well, you know, those are all things within your control. You could choose not to go out into the big, bad world, and oh, well, if you get hit by a drunk driver - it’s your fault! Your boss is being an asshole? Well, you can choose to find another job, can’t you? And someone goes through the express lane with too many items? Well, choose to shop at another store then. Don’t come here and bitch about it because hey - you have choices!
Jesus Christ. Maybe for MOST people, who have emotions that make them somewhat human, reproduction isn’t quite such an open and shut case. Perhaps Ink chose to have her son because she felt a bond with him. Perhaps she doesn’t believe in abortion. Perhaps she just wanted to piss you off.
Either way, I see a family who’s been given a rough hand in life - was some of it preventable? Maybe. But who GIVES A SHIT? The fact is, they want to improve their conditions and they’re trying to find a way to do that. So it ain’t happening at the speed of light. Looks to me like it WILL happen, if she and her husband have anything to do with it. She’s as entitled, if not more entitled, to bitch about her crappy hand in life as I am to bitch about the cheap-ass furniture I bought last week. Sure, my furniture hasn’t given me $50K in medical bills, thank God (don’t take that as an insult, inkleberry - I’m kind of surprised I don’t have medical bills after working with power tools…). But I suspect Ink gets a lot more enjoyment out of her baby than I do out of my furniture.
I certainly hope your perfect life continues. Because I suspect there’s going to be a majorly rude awakening in your little picket fence world if it doesn’t.
E.
nyctea scandiaca:
Well I’m pleased to know that you’re proud to announce that aborting your child had no more emotional resonance than getting your hair cut. I mean, some people apparently struggle with the decision to abort and recognize the magnitude of the situation, but I guess that’s not you.
You feel this makes you responsible. I think responsible would have been giving your child up for adoption. And you could still have your “awesome” life and your “awesome” job. I guess you were just looking for the easy way out, huh?
Oh wait. It probably doesn’t seem reasonable for me to tell you what is right and responsible, especially since I can’t possibly know your personal situation. Except that’s what you’re doing to inkleberry.
Ahem.
Ahem.
The Nefarious Three- your thesis seems to be “The OP is whinging about how it’s society’s fault she is poor! This is sooooo bad!”
Did you READ my OP? Seriously, go back and READ it. I am bitching about having my car broken into. My car, people. And the craptacular spectacular that is this part of Hayward.
Society didn’t fuck up my car, some asshole did.
My son has nothing to do with Hayward or the car. Or the other 5 cars in our lot broken into, either.
Not that you care. It’s something for you to latch onto, froth about, and generally feel smug about.
Just thought I’d like to point out to you that what you are frothing about has nothing to do with the OP at all, and is a total hijack. However, it is a fascinating display of the powers of projection and displacement.
Just thought you might wanna recognize that before you made more of an ass out of yourselves.
Wealth may give a kid more stuff but more stuff does not produce a better kid. Wealth just makes a kid with more stuff.
I’m sorry. That was the only thing I could come up with after the first ~20 posts. I’m really tired and a little lit and it’s pushing midnight here. Maybe when I come back the “omiGAWD! your kid’s not in SOCCER!!!1111oneoneone” people will be gone and I’ll be able to form an argument that’s a little more coherent and a little less snarky.
I just felt compelled to add a hearty fuck you on behalf of myself and all the other “accidents” out there. Perhaps my life was not as perfect as it could have been, but amazingly I’m still happy to be alive.
Suggest to my mom that she should have had an abortion, and she’d kick your ass too. This is not an abnormal reaction among mothers when you wish their children harm, even hypothetically.
BTW, Ink, a friend of mine once locked her keys (and cell phone) in her car in Hayward, in the parking lot of a grocery store. She went inside to call AAA on their phone, and when she got back outside, someone had broken into her car! They took her phone, but not the keys (and therefore, the car). Facinating, the mind of criminals.
Who the hell said anything about SOCCER? The OP is so poor she’s living on a street with 4 sex offenders and is having her car broken into. This isn’t about people not being able to afford expensive hobbies. :rolleyes:
So this wasn’t you, then?
You did write that, didn’t you?
Who are you to judge what is logical or rational in another person’s situation?
Do your “friends” tell you’re they’re unhappy and wish they’d never had kids? Do you tell your “friends” they fucked up by not having an abortion?
That was in reply to a hijack.