Email to Bell:
You state in the opening paragraph of your spam addressed to me that: “You expressed interest in receiving additional information as a follow up to our phone conversation. We recommend that you save this information for your future reference.”
I specifically requested, as I have on each occasion that I have called you over the past two years, that you DO NOT send additional information, because it is Windows-only “hints.”
To repeatedly claim that I have requested more information is a lie. I DO NOT want more of your “information” because, like thousands of other Bell Sympatico customers, I use a Macintosh.
Each of your disinformation spam messages further states: "There are two ways of Uninstalling Access Manager: One way is from Add/Remove programs window and another from the Access Manager Un-installation Option.
“Un-installing Access Manager from the Add/Remove Programs window. . . .”
Here’s a clue: Some computers, such as Macs, DON’T HAVE AN ADD/REMOVE PROGRAMS WINDOW.
Everyone in the world DOES NOT prefer Bill Gates’s umpteen-and-counting virus-magnet and security-sieve Windows abominations, making your auto responses tailored exclusively for Windows users nothing more than spam, equal in annoyance to those of the poor Nigerian needing my cash so we can both score millions, and notices on how to increase my penis size beyond that of the flagpole up which I fervently hope you run this message and salute.
If your self-serve model is to have any relevance for Mac users, whose money you take as readily as anyone else’s, include a couple of paragraphs explaining the network-connection settings on their machines. How difficult could that be? Are two paragraphs, one for OS 9 and one for OS X and tacked on beneath the Windows instructions beyond your capabilities? Including these would decrease the number of calls to phone support, as I presume it does on the part of Windows users, unless these e-mails don’t mean fewer calls, and that you know this but send them anyway because they are a PR-department “make-the-idiots-feel-good” exercise.
Each time that I receive another of those robotic-response spam e-mails adds to the annoyance and renews ill-feeling feeling toward Bell Sympatico. If the responses are sent merely to generate some phoney “See, we CARE!” PR fluff, they are not only a failure, they shout, “See, we DON’T CARE, AND WE FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!” Especially after I ask that you NOT SEND ANOTHER ONE.
Treating Mac users as less than second class is no way — surprise! — to earn customer loyalty, and your spam does nothing but reinforce the belief that Bell is so arrogant and safe in its Microsoft-centric world that it doesn’t give a damn. That’s probably the case, but it’s bad form to display it.
I applaud the deep-thinker who acknowledged that your spam selling Windows anti-virus, anti-worm, anti-spy, anti-keytracking and God know how many other anti- programs for the platform from hell is of no relevance to Mac users, thus removing it from your auto responses, at least to me. But get this: I CARE NOT ABOUT INSTALLING ACCESS MANAGER IN WINDOWS XP, WINDOWS 2000, WINDOWS 98, WINDOWS 95, WINDOWS 3.1, DOS AND FOR ALL I KNOW AND CARE, BABBAGE’S ANALYTICAL ENGINE! I CARE EVEN LESS ABOUT UNINSTALLING IT! CEASE, DESIST AND QUIT SPAMMING ME WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON IRRELEVANT PLATFORMS!
A final piece of hot news: Microsoft stopped supporting Mac Internet Explorer two years ago. So put THAT in your pipe, shove it up your registry and smoke it.
Sincerely,
Foaming Cleanser