Is now Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch.
And the world as we know it has ended.
Damn. Human society has officially peaked.
It’s all downhill from here.
(Seriously, though, I kinda get why they did it - for some reason I’ve always associated “heath” with “health,” and “Health Bar Crunch” isn’t the most appealing ice cream name).
ETA: Huh, looking around, apparently the reason for the change was Heath bars aren’t non-GMO certified. Whatever . . .
It’s far far worse than that. The Heath Bar has been replaced with a no-name imposter, ruining what was once as you say the pinnacle of human discovery.
I’ve cursed their names since they put Cool Britania in the graveyard.
There was Coconut Almond Fudge Chip I loved that went away, but CHBC has been a staple for at least 23 years. Why would this happen? It must profit the Heath company and why would B&J skimp? Are there growth hormones in Heath Bars?
They probably can’t certify that all the ingredients are always from GMO-free sources.
Their use of carrageenan puts them on my shit list (no pun intended. Okay, maybe a little bit.) That particular additive acts like an industrial strength intestinal cleanse for a not insignificant portion of the population, including me.
The fact that Cherry Garcia and Oatmeal Cookie Chunk are off limits forever makes me bitter. Oh, so bitter.
I was thinking they had already done this before, but apparently the earlier shifts to “toffee” were in name only.
weep
I wouldn’t care about the name change as long as the ice cream is the same. Their strawberry cheesecake used to be primary berry graham, but it’s the same stuff.
I hate them for getting rid of the Berried Treasure sorbet. Lemon sorbet with blueberry and blackberry swirls. Man that was some good shit.
The reason Ben & Jerry’s claim to have switched is that they only want to use Fair Trade ingredients, and I guess Heath Bars aren’t Fair Trade.
Now, I love toffee. I love Heath Bars. I love coffee ice cream. I didn’t know of the switch until I picked up a pint a month ago. Not having read the cap carefully (I saw Coffee something Crunch and just assumed it was the same beloved flavor). Later that night I got a couple of scoops in my dish, happy in front of an episode of Mad Men, and then took two bites–one that didn’t have the candy, and then one that did–a big ol’ chunk of it. My favorite part, of course.
No longer. The toffee candy they use is awful. It tastes of plastic. Just… no. I plonked the dish down and went back to look at the container more carefully, intending to check the expiration date (rather stupidly, I know; I mean, ice cream is frozen, is it likely to go bad in a busy NYC grocery store?). That’s when I noticed the change from “Heath Bar Crunch” to “Toffee Crunch,” and found the little explanation on the side of the pint regarding Fair Trade.
I went back and tried another couple of spoonsful, hoping my previous “ew, what the hell?” reaction might have been pure surprise at such a different flavor.
Well, I’ll say this: the ice cream was fine, same as always. A good, flavorful, icy coffee (vs. Haagen Dazs, which I’d say is much creamier). The candy–the raison d’etre of the flavor, as it were, is execrable.
Okay, maybe my memory is making it worse only because it’s such a different flavor from the familiar Heath Bar I’ve loved since my youth. But all I know is that after making a yeoman’s effort of tolerating it for about a scoop’s worth, thinking “okay, maybe I just need to recalibrate my expectations?” I finally gave up. It’s just a dessert.
There ain’t nothin’ I need so badly that I’ll shove something I dislike in my mouth.*
So who’ll step up to the plate and take advantage of the new hole in our ice cream lives?
♪ It’s up to you, Faux Swiss Haagen Dazs. ♫ Our nation lifts its empty spoons to you… ♫
- I know, I know, That’s What She Said…
I’m sorry, but putting toffee into ice cream just didn’t work in the first place, so it doesn’t matter what brand they use. Toffee in ice cream? Feels like there’s plastic shards or something in there, and your tongue’s going to get sliced. What are you guys on?
I was on a cloud of heavenly delight whenever I ate a pint and now life has little to no meaning. Like choie, I grabbed the pint out of instinct since the product name looks the same, except for the actual letters in it. The cashier mentioned the switch and my vision tunnelled to a pinhole, yet I failed to comprehend the full import of what she was saying. It was only on giving it one good try that I came to the same conclusion as choie.
Maybe I need to go over to the Overdramatize thread with this.
I’m still in mourning for Wavy Gravy. And whatever happened to Mission to Marzipan? That was some great stuff, but now it has disappeared.
Aaaaahhhhhhhh, Wavy Gravy. I never even got to try it. I didn’t know of it until it was too late.
Caramel, cahsews, roasted almonds and hazelnut fudge. That’s my dream taste.
Mission to Marzipan?! Why wasn’t I informed?!
I guess it’s better I never knew.
I also still miss From Russia with Buzz.
I hate hard things in my ice cream, too. Chips, chunks, shards, cookies, candies - ick.
I read the names of these deceased flavors and think, damn, I HAVE to get out the ice cream maker and try to replicate some of these.
I’m sick unto death of chocolate and peanut. Marzipan, dulce de leche, nutella, mango, raspberry - that’s the ticket.