I thought this was going to be team names, in which I would nominate for worst the Washington Wizards, which, until 2 years ago I thought was based somewhere in Washington state, you know, Wizards as in the northwest’s hippie population. Thought the Washington Bullets were a different team.
Angel Pagan of the Mets is somewhat amusing.
Bronko Nagurski is a great football name.
World B. Free in the NBA was a fun name.
Miroslav Satan stimulated jersey sales for every NHL team he played for.
What about a pitcher named Grant Balfour?
Sadly, he never played for the Devils.
Similarly, I’ve always been disappointed that Michael Nylander never played for the NY Islanders.
My first thought was Dick Trickle. Why the heck wouldn’t he call himself Rich?
There have been at least a couple of NHL goalies with the first name Emmanuel.
Manny Fernandez
Manny Legace
There is also a goalie named Jonathan Quick.
NFL Cahmpionship-winning quarterbacks oftern have names
which strike me as really, really cool:
Sid Luckman
Sammy Baugh
Norm (“The Dutchman”) Van Brocklin (only man to QB two different NFL Champs)
Bobby Layne
Tobin Rote
John Unitas (IMO the coolest name of all time. I think it’s Lithuanian)
Bart Starr (2nd coolest)
Joe Namath
Len Dawson
Ken (“Snake”) Stabler
Joe Montana (3rd coolest)
Peyton Manning
Eli Manning
On the other hand these Champion QBs have uncool names:
Otto Graham (“Otto?” A great player, Graham flopped as a coach. His players ridiculed him by calling him “Toot”, for his 1st name spelled inside out)
Joe Theismann (pronounced “ThEEsman” until he got to college where they changed it to rime with the name of the trophy)
Bon Griese (as most of us know pronounced “greasy”. He was a great player, but his name is by far the least cool of all champion QBs)
Terry Bradshaw
Steve Young (might have been saved from this uncool list if he had exchanged first names with his direct ancestor Brigham)
Kurt Warner
Tom Brady (I was glad Eli Manning kicked his butt, for their names alone)
The individual names are uncool, but when you combine the two, they have a rhythmic meter to them that makes them okay to the ear.
When he was traded to the Sabres I heard the other guy was constantly asked how it felt to be ‘traded for Satan.’ 
What a sorry waste.
Then again, Jim Brewer the pitcher never played for Milwaukee, Reggie Cleveland never pitched for the Indians, and I’m pretty sure that neither Marlon Byrd nor Marlon Anderson has ever played for Florida. Nor have Johnny Ray and Ray Durham suited up in a Tampa Bay uniform, and Huston Street has never been an Astro. Any chance we can get Ron Washington to manage the Nationals and the Mets to trade Angel Pagan to Anaheim?
On the other hand, Jose Cardenal WAS (briefly) a member of the St. Louis Cardinals, Johnny Podres DID end his career in San Diego, and Dave Philley spent a portion of his career with you-know-who. So there is some justice in the world.
As for other names, I was always partial to Juan Tyrone Eichelberger, former Padres pitcher, and there was something about the way the Jarry Park PA guy said “John Boc-ca-BEL-la!” that still makes me smile ~100 years later.
Trochaic biameter? Nah.
A few fun baseball names when translated into German. As Mark Twain said, the trouble with German names is that they always mean something.
“Staub” means “dust,” so “Rusty Staub” means, basically, “Rusty Dusty.”
Chuck Knoblauch’s last name means “garlic.”
Remember Mark Eichhorn, a submarining reliever for the Blue Jays a while back? An Eichhorn, in Germany, is a squirrel.
Dave Schneck was a very obscure outfielder for the Mets in the early seventies. His last name translates to “snail.”
Tim Teufel of the Twins and Mets pronounced his last name “tuffle,” but the German pronunciation “toy-fel” means “devil.” Blue Jays pitcher Jim Gott, on the other hand, translates to “God.”
Hypothetical situation years down the road… the daughter of baseball player Albert Pujols marries the son of young Russian hockey player Alexander Semin and she decides to hyphenate her name to “Pujols-Semin”.
What is the unfortunate imagery associated with Choate? I’ve said it over and over and can’t think of anything. The only association I have with it is the school, Choate.
Usain Bolt seems like a good name for a sprinter.
It does sound a lot like choke, which is what you don’t want to do when you’re an athlete.
Former NHL and Team Canada defenseman Zarley Zalapski.
I kind of wonder by Boyd Harris (an infielder in the 1950s) didn’t use his first name and went by his middle name of “Gail.” You’d think the heckling alone would have made him change his mind.
Names I’ve liked:
Darryl Lamonica (Raiders QB)
Dutch Dotterer (Catcher for the Senators in the 1950s)
Sean Fitzmaurice (OF for the Mets; appeared in nine games)
Ken MacKenzie (The only pitcher for the 1962 Mets with a winning record; he had a winning record for them in 1963, too).