Not that I’m condoning hollering at passing women, but I had a few interesting experiences with a friend yesterday. We were walking around Manhattan and passed by some people on the street selling books and records and things. One of them, a 40ish, mostly toothless guy, came up and started hawking his wares.
“Everything’s a dollar! You like Tom Clancy? You like John Grisham?” We’re not really interested.
“How about some Dr. Seuss?” he tries.
I looked for a book, just in case there was something worth getting. Also, it kept me from having to talk to him. My friend, as is her style, just said “Sorry, we have to go” and started walking. So she was a few steps ahead of me.
We’re talking about a curvy girl here (she says so herself). Sketchy vendor guy catches a look at her and THROWS his arm over my shoulder as I start walking.
“Look at that!” he exclaims, pointing at her backside. “You doin’ alright! Is she your girlfriend?”
“No,” I say, “she’s just a friend of mine.”
He’s incredulous. “You better marry that friend!” (Of course, my friend is only a few paces ahead of us and easily hears most of what he says, because he’s pretty loud.)
“I’ve got another girl for that,” I said.
Now, I admit he hasn’t seen the girl I’m talking about, but I guess he was just that impressed by my friend. “Somebody get an icepack for this boy’s forehead! He’s gone crazy! He’s crazy!”
We’ve been walking throughout this exchange, so he’s been hanging on me for half a block. Finally, he either senses my huge discomfort (yeah, right) or decides he’s made his point, so he acquiesces to my pleas that we have to go, and we leave him behind. I can barely face my friend, but fortunately, she’s amused by the whole thing. This has happened to her before.
“It’s funny,” says she, “usually when I’m walking with a guy, they don’t do that.”
“Well, he wasn’t talking to you,” I pointed out.
That WOULD’ve been the end, but a couple of blocks later, we pass a gaggle of youths who also seem to enjoy the sight of her rear. One of them shouts “That’s what I like!” as we walk by. :rolleyes:
THEN, when we were stopped at a crosswalk a few minutes later, a creepy-looking man (looked like a santitation worker for the city) started gawking at her. From the front this time, you know, for variety’s sake. And he stared hard. I started looking at him (after about five seconds) to suggest that he find somewhere else to feast his eyes. Then my friend starts staring at him. Of course, he fails to notice either of us, so preoccupied by her chest is he. But finally, the light changes and our story comes to its conclusion.
“New York is the city that never sleeps,” I instructed her, “because it’s too busy staring at your ass.”
Anybody else got any interesting stories like these? Again, I’m not encouraging this behavior, but the stupidity of these guys was pretty damn funny, and it was hard not to laugh at them - which is exactly what we did, for the next 20 blocks of our walk and for most of the rest of the night.