Best Doper quote you wish you had said

[Der_Trihs]

Hmmm, I’ll check my quotes file.

@elucidator

My argument is shabby but impregnable, like Superman standing by the road with a “Will Work For Food” sign.

@Wolfman

I do not like Green eggs and man
I do not like them in the pan
I do not want it from the embalmer
I do not want it, Jeffrey Dahmer.

The nations of the world are like wild beasts, wearing the masks of saints.
ALL of them. Do not be fooled.

@Blalron

I should start my own twin to TBN:

Atheist Broadcasting Network

“Reminding our viewers yet again that God does not exist, and that we need your solicitations to keep us on the air so we can keep telling you that!”

@Tuckerfan

Oooh! You can have crippled people come on and talk about how they’re still crippled!

@BrainGlutton

Why can’t we kill Pat Robertson?

Because, you pathetic fools, you cannot kill that which is not alive, mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! The Reverend has no heart, nor blood, nor does he breathe God’s air. His brains are made of congealed bile, his lungs traffic in flame and his veins are filled with black sand.

If ye would destroy him, take eight true men and women, each armed with a Bible and a stone dagger, and approach from the four points of the compass, and the four in between, striking all at once…

Or, just quit sending the bigoted moron money, for crying out loud.

@Cervaise

If you cut a zombie into two or more pieces, but do not destroy the brain, those pieces will remain dangerously ambulatory (to the best of their ability to amble, of course).

Question: If you then destroy the brain, will all the separate but dependent parts then “die”? In other words, if you destroy the parent chunk, will the child chunks be affected?

If so, what is the range of this effect? And the speed at which the information is transmitted?

Could you use it as a communication tool? Say, cut a bunch of zombies into a whole lot of small pieces, distribute them to military units designated “receivers,” have the “transmitter” back at command retain the head. If your piece of Zombie A dies, it means “retreat.” Your piece of Zombie B dies, that’s “advance.” Zombie C = “don’t eat the cornbread.” And so on.

That last was from the “lost days” while the SDMB was transferring to a new server.