Best Job . . . Worst Job

I have a theory that says that a major turning point - akin to graduation or marriage - in a person’s life is that moment that you know that no matter what comes you will never have a worse job than something that came before.

So in that spirit what is the worst job you have ever had? What is the best job?

There really is no contest for my worst job. I was living in northern New Hampshire and my job was to make donuts for a supermarket chain. Work started at 3am and ended at 1pm. In winter it was often well below zero, so cold my nostrils froze. The donuts were made the old-fashioned way with lots of dough and very hot grease. I got burned all the time as I tried to flip the things in a half-asleep daze. My other duties involved moving thousands of pounds of frozen food from the freezer to the deli and the bakery. In summer I walked around in a heavy jacket and everyone looked at me like I was mentally challenged.

Best job is thankfully current. I am a rare book dealer and would happily stay that way for the rest of my life.

Allright lets hear from the masses!

My worst job that I ever had was door-to-door salesman for a cable/satellite company. Since the local cable companies had already marked territory in the urban areas, my job was to travel to the rural parts of the state of Kentucky (where I lived at the time) and try to convince people who lived WAY too far out for cable TV that they needed our satellite system. I’m not trying to belittle the people of Kentucky, but the rural aspects of the state are not known for their computer savvy (watch “American Hollow” if you need to try to visualize what I mean).
Best job? Current. Stand-up comedian.

Worst, was when I worked as an ‘associate’ at a children’s clothing store in New York. I was sixteen, it was my first, big, 25 hour a week job and I was so proud to have it. About a month into the job, my boss was watching me ring up a sale and said “Remember, whenever a black person writes a check, ask for three forms of id, because they’re usually stolen checks.” I was appalled. And I was forced at that relatively young, inexperienced age to stand up to a fifty year old guy, tell him he was an idiot, explain to my parents why I was quitting my first job that I originally liked and work for the two weeks notice I gave, being sneered at by all the ladies and gentlemen I worked with because I was a “bleeding heart”

Best, is current I guess. I work as a personal assistant for a guy who always travels, so I have about four hours of down time a day…take long lunches…and the guy is a freaking hoot. He’s a booksmart genius with no common sense, so I always have stories to tell, like the time he dropped his cellphone in a glass filled with Diet Coke and wondered why it didn’t dial out any more.


My ‘Worst Job Ever’ is a tie between these three:

  1. I had just moved to California, and got a job through a temp agency separating a huge pile of recycled plastic into the separate piles of the right categories. Imagine hours of standing in 100 degree+ weather in old orange juice containers, milk jugs, and various other plastic crap trying to figure out which pile they really belong in.

  2. Same year, same temp agency, different gig. This time I was working at a juice company that needed someone to unscrew the caps of about 15 pallets of juice bottles, pour out the juice, and put the caps back onto the bottles again. After about 5 hours, I started to realize that the skin on my hands was wearing off. It was too late for gloves, the damage was done. I powered through this gig for two days till I was done. In the end my hands were raw pieces of flesh.

  3. Spent a summer in NY as a landscaper. I ended up just weeding peoples gardens, and had poison ivy all over my hands and arms for 8 weeks straight! Finally a doctor gave me some medicine and told me to get a new job. Good advice!

Best job is my current one. I am a database analyst in Northern Ca. Love my environment, the people I work with, and my job. Learn lots of new skills every day, am challenged in a more intellectual manner, and enjoy life so much more!

I was once paid 3.00 and hour to dig up the randomly-buried bodies of a dozen infants and re-interr them in a special “baby” section at a cemetery. It was 90+ degrees. Babies are not usually embalmed. Some of the coffins were styrofoam. I swear I could actually hear their bodies swell up and pop.

But that was still better than any of the customer-service jobs I’ve endured.

Best job: dog pound attendant. Feeding & petting only, no dogs destroyed during my brief tenure. Fired when someone in jail used his connections to get my job so he could be on work-release during the day.

Worst: A toss up between two jobs actually…

A) When I worked as a writer/producer in a post-production company. I had a boss who wanted all his staff to be mind readers. As creative director, he often second guessed us on our creative decisions, and inevitably lost his top if we didn’t adhere to his golden rule of “if I work late, you’ll work late”. On top of that he was a rude, tactless moron who verbally abused his personal assistant. He tried it on me on one occasion. I told him where he could stuff it, and promptly left the company.

B) My second worst job actually masqueraded as my best job for a while. I was hired as a content editor for a website, where for two whole months I got paid an obsence amount of money to surf the net and play games on the PC. Not that I didn’t want to do any work. My bosses had to wait for their bosses to tell them what I had been hired for.

Best: Probably when I worked as a buyer in a bookstore. Imagine, spending someone else’s money on books I want to read. The pay sucked, but I had loads of sample books that I could read before anyone else. I never had to drag myself out of bed for that one.

Riley Dieffenbach, what a cool job!
I’ve got a question for ya though.

Did you see the movie “the ninth gate”? If you didn’t than let me explain. The movie centers around a rare book dealer and a book called ’The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows’.

Does this book exist or has it ever been rumored to exist? I really would like to know anything you know about it.

Oh yeah, one more question.

In the begining of the movie the book dealer comes upon an original copy of Don Quixote, a three volume set of leather bound books. Is this the way the origonal book/books were made? How much would a set like that be worth?
Just Curious
Tyklfe :slight_smile:

Worst Job
Working at Mc E-d’s
Best Job
Current one - I work for a very big and popular long distance/telecommunications company. I’m twenty, in college, and I’m being paid an obscene amount of money to sit at a computer and make the internet go round. :slight_smile:
(don’t you just hate me?) :slight_smile:


Fortunately, all my other jobs (professor’s library slave, transcriber for an oral history department, college newspaper columnist, a couple other school publications projects, preschool teacher’s assistant) were cool. The most current one, the prof’s library slave one, is the best: the prof was great to work for, the hours were up to me (as long as I got things done), the work was simple (though tedious), and the pay was better than what most of my friends who worked on campus made. Too bad he’s done writing his books and no longer needs me…

Worst was working on a kill floor in a slaughterhouse. Wasn’t bad at first but by the end of the day my knees would be all wobbly from the screaming.
But another guy there spent all day jamming his thumb into pig assholes, cutting around the thumb with his knife, pulling the asshole out with some rectum, cutting the rectum away from the intestine, and slinging the asshole into a shoot. All day, every day. Still warm. That hadda be tough to get up for…

Tyklfe - It really is the best job I could ever hope for. I did see the movie and didn’t think it was as bad as it was made out to be. The book though is wholly fictional. I’ve handled a fair amount of occult material and never seen or heard of anything that is similar.

One would never stumble upon a true first edition of Don Quixote. I believe they are all accounted for at this point. One came up for auction in the early nineties and sold for 1.65 million. I’ve sold a copy from the early eighteenth century in questionable condition and even that brought a couple grand.

Two quick things to add

  1. Napier the asshole cutting job has to be the very worst I have ever heard mentioned. The local Asian grocery store sells something matter of factly labeled “Pork Bung”.

  2. Tyklfe - The books were probably not bound in their original leather. When produced they were probably bound in blind stamped decorated pigskin stretched over wooden boards. There would then be brass clasps to close and lock the books when not in use. Might also have been bound in vellum (goat skin) a kind of white brittle material.

Worst? Night work, stocking shelves at Loblaws (enormous grocery store). 8 hours, all night, moving boxes and putting crap on shelves. I hated it, Oh so much.

Also, clearing boxes for a bank. They were moving them from one location to another, so I spent 8 hours a day just moving boxes.
Originally I thought I’d be good at physical labour, but I just couldnt stand it. 15 minutes into each job I was losing my mind. I quit both after three days.
Best? Believe it or not, I work in customer service and I love it. I work at the House of Knives, and back when I was manager of the joint, I couldn’t have been happier. I could make that my career, if it paid a hell of a lot more. Sure, you get the assholes, but I stand behind a counterfull of weaponry. Fun!

Of course, I love knives. There’s no way in hell I’d enjoy working and McD’s or a clothing store or some such thing.

The only job that I’ve ever had was a cashier at KMart, and I certainly hope that it remains the worst. During the second summer that I worked there, the air conditioning broke. This was in Kentucky, temperatures reached about 100 during the day, and we were still required to wear long pants and long-sleeved white shirts.
Many KMart customers smell bad. Really.

I don’t think that I can say that I’ve had a bad “job.” The worst summer of work that I ever had (I’m a college student) was the summer that I decided to wait tables and work at a convenience store. I would wait tables at an ice cream shop that also happened to serve real food–in a mall. I worked evenings (from 2 or 3 til 10) and then I would go to work night shift at the convenience store from 10-6 or 7 am. The only reason I got to work on time was because the clock at the first place was 19 minutes faster than the clock at the second place. I was a zombie that summer…it sucked royal flying monkey ass.

The best job that I’ve ever had was working at a coffee shop on campus on Friday nights. I would sit and read, make coffee, and talk/yell at people. Even with all the stuff that I stole or gave away for free, the place still pulled in $200-$300 cash on a Friday night. Then they closed it down. Grrrr. That job was great (and caffeinated).

Make that 10 minutes fast. (It was wing and pitcher night at the bar…and the 9 and 0 are awfully close together). :slight_smile:

Worst job: Canning factory. 90 degree heat, 95% humidity. Sitting at a conveyer belt. The green beans would come down the belt and, as they passed in front of me, I had to pick the dead frogs, bunnies, cats, rats, etc out of them. Note that these animals are dead because they went through a bean-picking machine, and were usually in several bloody pieces. I still get an upset tummy whenever I smell green beans cooking.

Best job: Current. Computer programmer. Lots of stress, but reasonable hours, and my base pay has trippled over the last five years.

Lord Vor