Well, there’s the lyrics to “All You Need Is Love”:
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung…
On first hearing this, one might think that Lennon is saying something like “With love, all things are possible”. But in fact, each of these lines is simply a tautology. If you can do it, then by definition, it can be done. In other words, “The only things you can do are doable things.”
Actually, I think that makes it a lot more interesting.
Before any big football game that features a high-flying offense, it’s a safe bet you’ll hear something like this:
Play-by-Play Man: What do you think will be the key for the Jets in this game against the Colts?
Ex-Jock Commentator (with VERY serious look on his face): Well, Bob, if the Jets want to beat the Colts today, they’re definitely going to have to outscore them.
As opposed to every other game, in which you win by UNDERscoring your opponent, presumably.
Golf and cross-country come to mind. 
Me too. I’m pre-coffee. I came in to say “bar stewards”.
Rather more on-topic, a friend of mine used to stare gravely into the middle distance and proclaim “Ah, yes. He’s like a wolf on lemons”. A lot hinged on the delivery, and the fact that people would nod sagely and then surreptitiously try to work out what the hell he meant.
A leader without followers is just a man taking a walk.
“Paradise is exactly like where you are right now, only much, much, better.”
Of course, the delivery makes all the difference.
Not quite OT, but this one reminds me of the Irish “directions” conversation.
Lost Person: “Excuse me, could you please tell how to get to Ballyvaughan from here?”
Irish Local: "Ah sure, if I wanted to go there I wouldn’t start from here. "
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
(Lennon?)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Belgium.
Has anyone ever made a comment in Latin on the SDMB and NOT had it corrected?
The more tired the mind, the bigger the mountain.
If at first you don’t succeed, you didn’t get it right the first time.
“A leopard cannot change his shorts.”
and
“If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.”
My dad had one: “He’s as full of shit as a Christmas turkey.”
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.
(fiddle around lighting a cigarette. In a French accent, mumble,)
I like it when it is good.
(take a deep breathe of cigarette smoke. Hold it for a couple of three. Exhale through nose and teeth)
I don’t like it when it is bad.
Non.
Nullus.
When life hands you shit, eat a shit sandwhich.