I always liked Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus Von Hohenheim. If you had a name like that you’d probably also want to shorten it to something like Paracelsus.
Anyone from the Fucko family.
Speaking of the Philippines, a company I once worked for listed one Manuel Pagan-Colon in its directory of employees.
Yep, dude makes my former coworker with the 9-word name sound downright homey (that’s 3-word firstname, 3-word paternal lastname, 3-word maternal lastname).
Another good one: the recently-deceased Duchess of Alba was known as Cayetana de Alba, but her full name was María del Rosario Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart Silva. People always got confused trying to figure out which part was which (the paternal lastname is Fitz-James Stuart).
One of my classmates was known as Merche, a common nick for (María de las) Mercedes. Her full baptismal name was María de las Mercedes, Victoria de los Ángeles - the comma is part of the name.
Speaking as a database administrator…
AAARRGGHH!
Years ago my mother had a pal named Voda Clapsaddle. And I found a distant cousin named Bluebell Memorial Butcher.
By all means, Heinrich Friedrich Karl vom und zum Stein.
Not only is he Heinrich, or Friedrich, or Karl. Hell, not only is vom Stein, but he is vom AND zum Stein for chrissake.
Former Germany striker Stefan Kuntz as general manager of Kaiserslautern, signed both Danny Fuchs and Florian Dick .
In fiction, Major Major Major.
In real life, Rose Mary Echo Silver Dollar Honeymoon Tabor. (Rosemary may be one word, but that’s still a lotta names!)
One-time employee of a US railroad, listed in directory of such folk: Kennebunk Doodlesquidley.
Kennesaw Mountain Landis is a pretty good one.
Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache, that’s my name too!
Whenever we go out, the people always shout “Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache!” DA DA DA DA DA DA!
Nobody could have made up this story about a real life woman named Daisy Cowit. People still don’t believe me when I tell them about it, and they crack up when they realize it’s true.
Named (presumably) by his father Dr. Frank Field, an even better-known TV weatherman.
My nominations are Ima Hogg, the First Lady of Texas, and Fonda Dicks, a phenomenal Iowa girls’ basketball player in the 1970s*.
*she was a legendary high scorer whose name often appeared in the sports pages of the Des Moines Register.
“She declined to speak to a reporter, except to correct the pronunciation of her name: “Coe-it,” she said.”
Lazar Wolf from Fiddler on the Roof.
Lieutenant General Sir Manley Power
A pair of kindergarteners, best pals yet, my son teaches: Johnny Vegas and Sedarius Washington. If this pair doesn’t have a TV or movie deal by age 7 just on the strength of those names, I’ll be disappointed.
I went to school with two sisters named Dietra and Phaedra Boots.
I always thought stripping or porn would be in their future, but alas, I don’t know what became of them.
Under the category of name change, I nominate NBA player Lloyd Free, who changed his first name to World B.
Wilma Mankiller, the first female Chief of the Cherokee Nation, may she rest in peace.