I don’t know if this was ever a headline, but I know that it was a bumber sticker, back in the days of Tricky Dick, when he dismissed Archibald Cox as a special prosecuter…
“Impeach the Cox sacker”
Well, as long as this has metamorphosed into best accidental newspaper headline…
An article in the leftie Link newspaper at Concordia University commenting on the continued lack of women in top administrative positions:
“Vice Rector Services another male”
Earlier this summer, Najeh Davenport of the Green Bay Packers was arrested for allegedly taking a crap in the closet of some girl’s dorm room in Maimi. The headline for the article at espn.com when this happened was:
matt: not to put too fine a head on it, but the Link is a semiliterate rag.
I read the Concordian, myself.
Allegedly a UK politician called Michael Foot was being considered as Chairman of a military organisation, and the Guardian (newspaper that loves puns) was ready with:
‘Foot heads arms body’
:eek:
Accidental, but worth it. An editorial, by the copy editor, in my college newspaper once read:
Thank You Pubic Safety.
Reported in “Anguished English” by Richard Lederer was the following headling snafu, my all-time favorite:
REAGAN SAYS MORE LIES AHEAD
One that made me look twice, from either The Daily Yomiuri or The Asahi Evening News:
Dyke Overwhelmed by Oder
Turned out it was about flooding on a German river.
My wife and I were personally acquainted with the young man who perpetrated my favorite. About 30 years ago St. Lawrence University, in Canton, NY, had a truly execrable football team. After one extremely lopsided defeat, the Watertown Daily Times, published in our hometown, carried a story reporting the game written by our friend, who was a dropout from the Wadhams Hall Seminary program training Catholic priests. His suggested headline was run as he wrote it – as being too good a pun to resist:
St. Lawrence Martyred on Gridiron
…which makes the Times the first newspaper to report that story in headline form, albeit about 1700 years after the fact. 
When the death penalty was being reinstituted in America about 25 years ago, Utah decided they’d use the firing squad as their sole means of execution. This resulted in the Washington Post headline:
All Utah Sentenced To Be Shot
I just found one on Japan Today from last year, regarding students going back to class at the school where a man with a knife had killed 8 children:
Kids Return to Massacre School
Sorry, I don’t get this one - please can someone explain? :o
It’s the difference between “All those sentenced [to death] in Utah to be shot” and “All Utah [residents] sentenced to be shot”.
I don’t know if it was ever actually published, but The Colonel Kicks The Bucket went around a lot when Colonel Sanders died back when.
This one may be a reach because it was on TV and was surely intentional:
Last week here in Boston a car lost control and crashed through the noise abatement wall on the side of the highway, so naturally, rather than call it a noise abatement wall, the reporter solemnly said:
“While traveling north on 93 the vehicle lost control, crossed the median and then broke the sound barrier.”
From a food review:
“What a Friend We Have in Cheeses”.
During a British heatwave:
London Broils
Dunno if its been mentioned, but there was an incident that occured some time ago where a man was leaving from work and after kissing her husband goodbye, she flashed her breasts at him. Well, a taxi driver was distracted by the boobies and happened to crash through the wall of a nearby dentist’s office. A man was getting dental work and the car crashing into the building made the hygenist arm jerk, which tore at the man’s gums, which caused him to bite down, biting off the woman’s fingers. Someone in the next room was also injured I believe.
The headline?
Bears two, rams four
Jay Leno has some classics, but my favorite was The Teenage Sex Problem is MountingWhat, do they keep on slipping off?
Time Magazine had a feature story years ago about an evil wench named Leona Helmsley (a quote attributed to her was “Taxes are for the working class, not for people like me”). The cover had a picture of her, and a beautifly written, short and to the point headline: Rhymes with Rich
Try and try again to find copies of the paperbacks Red Tape Holds Up Bridge and Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim, two collections of funny newspaper headlines from the Columbia Journalism Review’s “Lower Case” column. Hilarous, and unlike the thudding Jay Leno books, they let the headline carry the comedy without adding thick-headed commentary.