I’ve got a cousin who is gay-hey no problem to me- but ,to his next door neighbours wife it certainly is.
She is undergoing IVF and she gets upset,especially at the idea of a couple of gay men next door.
One day my cousin is hanging out the washing and, cause the gardens are minute,a sheet flaps up against the fence.
Well this sends her of into rant mode(set rant=1)and off she goes,
“You dirty f**ing queers!I know why you’ve got to wash them sheets.ing pervert bs ! Why can’t you f**k off!”
To which my cousin replied,
“At least I know why I can’t have babies!”
.
.
Do not wait for the last judgement-It takes place every day CAMUS-The Fall
My favorite is one that my best friend uses all the time. Part of it is my sig line.
When people ask say crazy things to him he looks at them without missing a beat and says “Did you bump your head? Are you stuck on stupid?”
It’s funny to watch their reaction. He has a few more, but that is my favorite.
Casdave, what a lovely neighbor your cousin has! She has such a sunny personality. Your cousin must be a pretty easy going person if he made his point in one line.
People like her suck. BTW, what is IVF?
I think the next time he hangs wash he should but out their boxer shorts to dry. Better yet little string bikinis or the like!
Once when my daughter was about 4, one of my friends was trying to watch tv and she was in his way. So thinking he was funny he asked her if her father was a window maker to which she replied, “Why is your window broke?”
A 30 year old man put down by a 4 year old! She is 9 now, and we still never let him forget that he was bested by her. We probably never will!
I was hanging out at a friend’s house one night and a guy was there complaining that he didn’t like his job. “The people there can’t handle someone of my calibre”, he said. “Which calibre would that be? The lowest?”, my friend’s sister replied.
I heard a comedian good-naturedly describe an acquaintance as being “a nice boy, but he shits too close to the house”.
“It’s only common sense,
There are no accidents 'round here.”
My husband has an obnoxious cousin who likes to prattle on endlessly about everything and nothing, not caring if he makes the least bit of sense. (He was telling us once about a roofing job he just got and said “Yeah, should be easy. The roof’s 10X10…so 20 square feet!”) A few months ago at his sisters wedding we were stuck at the table with him and he had been monopolizing the conversation for hours when he launched into this long boring story about how when he was a kid he dove off some rocks to save another kid he thought was drowning. I interrupted with “Is THAT how you sustained your head injury?” He said “no” and kept right on yakking. :rolleyes:
“That’s impossible! Cartman doesn’t know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart!”
“Yes I do! Pop-Tarts are frosted!”
