When Pammipoo was lamenting that the McDonald’s she worked at burned down…finagle’s response is still, to this day, a line that makes me giggle with glee if not howl with laughter:
“You want fires with that?”
Seeing JAR post reminded me of a post of hers that made me laugh all day:
Can she hand out a put-down, or what?
Oh, and for the unaware, here’s a link for Gotcha ya! Well worth the effort of reading, both because it’s hysterically funny and because it’s become a Board in-joke.
Well, I may be tooting myself on the back, but my site has a Message board quote page. No surprise that most of the quotes are from this very board. A sampling…
Reckless Humor: What’s up with the Jesus-Fish?
KneadToKnow: I always thought that was the Holy Mackerel.
cercaria: [about the MS Word helper]That perky little paperclip will be the end of us all.
The wind my point created when it flew over your head has caused a tsunami in Southeast Asia. I hope you’re happy.
gobear: So we are agreed: Racism, bad; getting head, good.
Fenris: Hmmm…I believe cookies were also discussed.
I still think about mega the roo’s explanation of man pickles.
NP: lacuna Coil - Unleashed Memories
I can’t even remember who said it, but the line: “Read a book. I’ve eaten things smarter than you” causes hysteria whenever I think of it.
There was a line by jarbabyj in one of her classic rants, An Angry Elf.
The bitch that inspired the thread wasn’t getting her way, and said, “You run this parade very poorly, and trust me, you will suffer the consequences.”
Jar’s written response:
Killed me. Absolutely killed me.
Another one that caused me to laugh like a fiend when I read at work was Max Torque’s name for masturbation in this thread…Jostlin’ the Elder. Classic.
gobear sed:
And then, there was a pederasty thread where Esprix sed:
But my all time favorite has to be Guinistasia speaking to Wildest Bill:
Funniest one I read recently was from (surprise surprise) jarbabyj, replying to a thread in which French speakers in Ontario were referred to as “Franco-Ontarians”. jarbaby’s comment:
I really, really hate the “new keyboard” cliché, but I almost had to post it there.
This was iampunha, in the pit, in a rare moment of anger!
In Esprix’ current pit thread, SPOOFE just blessed us with:
Abstinence is an abomination before God and nachos!
Yep, that was me, originally said in this thread in which I was having some difficulties with a Mr. Goodbar wrapper. The line is, “Hersheys will hear of this outrage and feel my wrath, which I have named Fred.”
I may have used it again later (I think in the Welcome Wagon threads), but the candy bar incident was the first time.
For myself, I’ve always liked my line from this OP (which some people took a bit too seriously) for some reason:
“I don’t know -
My GF’s birthday. Sometime in late June, maybe early July. It’s definitely a summer month.”
And from this Pit rant about a co-worker:
“I would find listening to a John Tesh/Yoko Ono duet 8 hours a day every Saturday and Sunday while simultaneously having my body shaved with a dull straight razor by a blind man with Parkinson’s Disease more enjoyable than another weekend with you.”
As for other people’s stuff, it’s not a line, but Eve breathed life into a dying Halvsie, the Two-Legged Dog thread by casting him in TV shows and having him spin around like Curly from the Three Stooges.
I can’t think of too many others, 11 am is actually early for me, I’ll try to get back here after I wake up.
That was probably my second favorite of all time, but the one that really hit me, on so many levels, was Tris’s quip in our Great Debate about Materialism. We were desperately trying to ascertain who or what was sufficient to supply the “verification” that they demanded was necessary to validate truth. They never answered the question, but in the process they wended all over the place, making Materialism seem more mystical than any theology I’d ever seen.
Suddenly, Tris produced this gem:
The greatest flame in the history of the board, in the thread that is perhaps the greatest flame thread ever, Democritus-Pucker Up, Ass Slammer!, was posted by neuro-trash grrrl
Read the thread, it’s both brutal and all in fun.
wow, how did I miss some of these?
Someone recounted this line as actual dialogue from an episode of their life:
“Oh my God! Carrot Top is dancing behind you!!!” How can you not crack up at that?!
The Stupid Pictionary Responses thread is a bit of a gold mine, as well.
By Miller, in this current Pit thread.
A very rude telemarketer told Cervaise being bothered by telemarketers at all hours was his problem, because he had a telephone. He replied (paraphrasing):
“I have a butthole too, but that doesn’t mean I want a running jigsaw inserted into it.”
The line that’s stuck in my mind was by Tequila Mockingbird, in a Pit thread on parents having their children’s ears’ pierced. She recounted the tale of some woman telling her that her son was “too pretty to be a boy” and that she should put him in a dress. TM’s response?
“No, you raving daffy papsmear of a woman!”
Short, sweet, and unforgettable.
NTG had a style that few could match, but I think I did pretty well with:
I read this 20 minutes ago, and am still laughing now.
Originally posted by Tars Tarkas
Hey, i didn’t do nuthin’!!
(Well, there was that one time, with the fire, and the explosions, and the screaming, and the monkeys, and the floating gas-cloud of death, and the noodles, but i apologized!!!)
Oh, and while we’re speaking of neuro-trash grrrl, there’s her reply to the question Who is Cecil?
I’m still not sure why this hasn’t been added to the main Straight Dope FAQ.