Rosemary’s Center for Unfortunate young Girls, How may I help you?
Ditto. In a low voice. Confuses my friends.
Though I’ve never answered my phone this way, I’ve heard of folks who have…
“County abortion clinic. No fetus can beat us!”
“Hill County Morgue and Barbecue. You kill 'em, we grill 'em!”
Or, more usually,
“Well?”
I always enjoy answering with “It is I” in as deep a voice as I can manage.
~ Isaac
It’s your dime…
While in college my roommate answered the phone three times and each time it was the wrong number. On the fourth time, I picked up the phone and said, “Ann Arbor Police Department” I heard a gasp and a dial tone.
Between about 6 and 6:30, my wife answers “Dinner time”
“Bob’s House of Drugs, we got what you need to get off, Bob Speaking…”
always fun when answering pay phones in the barracks.
“Yobo Say Yo”
Korean for hello
“Efendem…”
Turkish for Sir
Ahhh, time for MY trip down Memory Lane…
I was 17, a senior in high school, living at home with my mother and stepfather. One afternoon I was on the phone with my best friend, but she said her father had to use the phone and she’d call me back in five minutes. I said OK and we hung up.
Five minutes to the second later, the phone rang. I picked up the phone and answered it, “City Abortion Clinic. You rape 'em, we scrape 'em.” – and it was my stepfather’s grandmother!!!
My mother was furious when she found out (Step-grandma did not hesitate to tell her) and Mom screamed at me. “When you’re out on your own, with a job, your own place and your own phone, I don’t care how you answer it. But in THIS house, you say ‘HELLO’ when you answer the phone, or you don’t answer the phone at all!” I obeyed.
I got out of the house when I was 18 (praise Ratness) and over the years I had numerous unique ways of answering the phone. Most of them were twisted and related to whatever my “passion” was at the time (electronic music, Star Trek, microbiology, rats…).
Alas, none of my past phone-answering phrases actually apply anymore, and I haven’t been able to replace them with anything good that would apply (my zest for living has seriously diminished over time) – so when my phone rings, I’m stuck with that ever-so-boring “hello.” 
Had a roommate once who answered the phone, “House of God, may I help you?” 
While in school I worked a semester as night security guard at the Delta Delta Delta sorority house, where one responsibility was answering the phone. I had to quit before the temptation to answer “can I help ya, help ya, help ya?” overwhelmed me.