As far back as I can remember, I’ve had a touch aversion. Outside of my family, exactly four people can touch me. Only one of them lives in the same town as me at the moment. All my other friends are aware of this and act accordingly. As I’m studying to work with young children, this may pose a tad of an issue and I want to get rid of it.
As to extent, very young children (4 and under) are fine, but if anyone else excluding the aforementioned people touches me, I tense up instantly and feel acutely uncomfortable. Even when my balance was completely shot due to a sinus infection, I was relying on anything other than people (the one person I can stand the touch of is 14 inches shorter than me. Not the best recipe for balance support.)
How in the world can I get rid of this? I’d prefer to do it without professional help, as my financial situation is quite shaky at the time.
Well, I’ve had what sounds like a similar aversion for years, although mine was less intense. I’d tend to just get really, really ticklish and back off.
This may be either obvious or a stupid question, depending on how strong your aversion is: do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? I didn’t start to get over mine until after I started dating – I’d assumed I’d have to get over it before I could see anyone, but I managed okay.
Barring that, do you have access to a massage therapist? Some companies offer them, and of course there are independent therapists who are legitimate. I’m sure that if you went in and talked to him/her first, explained your situation completely, and just got ready to be uncomfortable for the first session, everyone would be cool with it. From that point on, it should just get easier and easier.
Boyfriend/girlfriend? Have had both, nothing serious. Still had the aversion, but other things were the cause of the demise of those relationships (namely, I tend to pick the crazy ones somehow).
Massage therapist? I work for and attend the same university. The services are… less than ideal, to be diplomatic about it. I do have a friend who is good at back massages, so maybe he would be willing to help.
I’m another person with a touch aversion almost exactly like you described, except that outside of family, there’s only 3 people who can touch me. I tend to react to an arm across the shoulder or a hearty back slap the same way I would react to being hugged by one of the fish people in The Shadow Over Innsmouth. Like you, babies and really little kids are fine. Luckily, I don’t tend to get touched by strangers, due to my appearance, which is fairly hulking and glowery (or so I’ve been told).
I unfortunately don’t have any suggestions, but would also greatly like to hear other people’s suggestions. My company does occasionally have a massage therapist on premises, and I went to her once, and it was one of the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes of my life (about as unpleasant as a urology exam, I would reckon), so that idea is right out.
I’m very similar to you. I hate to be touched, even by family members. It used to drive my mother crazy - she’d complain that I’d act like I was beaten (I wasn’t). When I meet new co-workers, I tell them straight out that I’m not a toucher. Once, a co-worker came up behind and touched me on the neck (she was just tucking in a tag) and I turned around and hit her before I even knew what I was doing. Fortunately I was able to pull the punch at the last moment, but I still got her. I can allow massage therapists to touch me as long as I’m clothed. I wouldn’t do an unclothed massage. I can stand touching when I’ve had a chance to sort of mentally brace myself for it. If I see it coming and I’m not surprised I can bear it, although it usually isn’t pleasant.
Occupational therapists work with touch aversion in children. I know you guys are saying that money is an issue, so I’m just throwing that out there for a possible avenue to explore when money is not an issue.
I’m not sure that I agree that putting yourself through unpleasant massage experiences would help desensitise.
Does your university have a counseling center? If so, you could out what, if anything, it would cost you to have a few sessions with a counselor. You could learn some relaxation techniques, construct a hierarchy of fears, and get start working on how you could gradually decrease your aversion.