After staggering into work this slightly groggy Tuesday morning, I appropriately began my day by silently fuming for about 15 minutes because my boss got there ahead of me and made his Cafe Verona decaf blend instead of the significantly inferior tasting but more effective Folgers Classic Roast, after which I generally spaced out for a further ten to fifteen minutes before settling in for another fascinating day on the workfront.
Soon, conversation among myself and the three other occupants of my back office room deviated into a recurring discussion of boxers vs briefs as a matter of personal preference.
Dramatis Personae:
Me - male programmer/graphic designer/software support
My Boss - male programmer/quality engineer
Coworker #1 - male IT Specialist/Sales Representative
Coworker #2 - female Accountant/HR Director
You may have noticed a lack of distribution in work load among some of these titles - we have a very small company, and everyone performs a variety of functions. It works well enough, but I digress. Apologies.
The discussion was progressing normally when suddenly an unforseen variable entered the mix. My boss recalled the tale of a student he had met in college at Michigan who, out of confusion or necessity we’re not sure, decided to forego the debate entirely and wear . . . both.
What? Did I miss something? Lest you mistake my meaning, I’m not implying that he alternated his fashion on different days, but instead partook of an equal share of fully boxers and fully briefs simultaneously. The thought lept to my mind, if theres debate on whether Jesus could be completely God and completely Man at once, then where does THIS leave us?
Apparently the offending party argued his case by citing his “overly sweaty” posterior terminus, and said that it was necessary to keep him dry.
. . .
I was at a total loss. Have I just not been informed of this phenomenon before, or is this completely new to anyone else?
Makes sense to me. Support of the briefs, combined with the lack of social condemnation from his peers for wearing tighty-whiteys should he have a containment failure and have to drop trou in the lunchroom.
Now, briefs and boxer-briefs… now that would be redundant. And binding.
I could be wrong again, but it seems like there’s a certain percentage of visibility in the front of boxers, that, in the given situation, coud lead to some “social condemnation.” Most people I know aren’t that white, even in their untanned regions.
I have to agree with the Double-Team theory. I don’t see why one can’t have an extra layer. The only downside I can forsee is a few seconds of severe stress should one need to go to the restroom in a hurry.
Mind, this was years ago, in the nineties, when boxers were the thing to wear. Real boxers, not boxer-briefs. He liked the look of boxers but felt they didn’t… how can I put it… had quite the support that briefs had. The solution; wear both of course!
And if he really wanted to, he could get out of them fast enough
I think that trying to argue that boxers + briefs as a daily standard would be similar to trying to argue that women need to wear matching bra and panties. There’s just really not much point in going for a particular “cool” look when no one is ever going to see it for more than a few moments, if at all.
Anyway, this entire argument disappeared for me once I discovered the trascendental joy of the boxer-brief. Comfort and style. Things stay where they should and look great. I have no idea why guys use anything else (though the extra boxers for Mr. sweaty-ass does make some sense).
As a round man , I wear briefs that are also fully elastic , and provide support in the full groin and upper thigh area. I purchase them at an out fit called casual male under the brand name of George Foreman . Also known as the god of grills.
