Concur with indygrrl on a couple of levels. This is the point I’m driving home on my 14yr old son.. be very deliberate and don’t hesitate.. Sensitive guys get to the one she tells her guy issues too.. That only works in a Julia Roberts movie..
And hitting on a lot of women would hardly qualify as having a special insight.. Have you ever considered that you might hit on the same type of women.. in the same manner.. Wouldn’t that possibly open up a scenario where their’s a type of woman who’s completely beyond you? Like dudes who only do bicep curls in the gym.. or going to the same section of the bookstore by instinct.. habit.
I would say that my success with girls increased significantly as my attitude became more dominant and chauvinistic. Believe it or not 3 of them – all in their 20s, attractive, and childless – have asked me to marry them over the years.
Keep in mind that being the leader (“wearing the pants,” if you will) is not the same thing as being abusive.
Huh. Asking you to marry them. That’s not very submissive. I’m surprised a big macho stud like you would put up with that kind of talk from a woman…oh, excuse me, girl.
Even better, I was “seducing” them for their money, and all they got in return was flirty conversation and lapdances. And night after night, for 15 years, I was able to do this with considerable skill.
Actually, what I said was, “And I don’t want to be with someone whose wimpiness brings out such ugliness in me. I’m sure there are women out there who do want a guy like that (I don’t know any of them, but I’m sure they’re out there, haha.), but not me.”
Evidently you missed the point I was making, and that’s how me and all of the women I know prefer confident, self-assured men over the kiss ass, wimpy types. It’s funny to me that you somehow translate this preference into thinking that women want a domineering daddy type. All of the strong, independent women I know want EQUALS in their relationships, not someone to dominate them. Nor do they want to have to be “in charge” at all times, and make all of the decisions, which is inevitably what happens when a woman is with a wimpy guy.
And of course it’s not a turn off for you to meet an unassertive, timid woman, because that’s the only type who would put up with the sort of dynamic you like in your relationship. There are plenty of men who would find that sort of woman boring. It’s not fun to be with someone who can’t stand up for themself, or always acts like a doormat and gives in when there’s a conflict. It’s probably hard for you to believe, but lots of men enjoy being with someone who challenges them, just as women do.
I don’t have an issue with the way your relationship is, that’s entirely between you and your wife. What I do take issue with is your assumption that women in general subconsciously desire a man who will dominate them and be the “boss” in the relationship. You can’t use your dating history to make blanket statements about women. Well, you can, but you’d be wrong.
Did these three women all know about the “biblical” way you planned to run your future marriage? Because if that wasn’t brought up and discussed in detail, I wouldn’t take these so-called proposals as proof that women want to be dominated and defer to the “pants in the family.”
Ok, so you provide a good example. If you were to claim that “Most men are really turned on by X, even though they usually won’t admit it,” I wouldn’t dismiss your statement on the ground that you are not a man.
No, I didn’t miss the point. I am simply addressing the deeper question of “why.” You seem to say that your preference is because of your own personality type, but that does not ring true since the preference is pretty much universal.
Well let me ask you this: Will you agree that confidence and assertiveness is far more valued in men than by men?
Why is it wrong for me to generalize based on my experiences? Surely you yourself have some ideas about what men like and don’t like, based on your own experiences.
I dunno if the OP’s original question is still in play at this late date, but I’m “okay” with “bible marriages” simply because being “not-okay” with them accomplishes nothing desirable.
“Not OK with” implies a desire to prohibit them. I have no desire to prohibit them, but I still reserve every right to think it’s stupid, and I don’t have to respect the guys that do it.
Why does it have to accomplish anything? It’s not a message or a call to action, it’s just a personal dislike.
People have a right to hold Klan rallies, but that doesn’t mean I have to like those people, and not liking those people is not about “accomplishing” anything, so I don’t really understand your question.
The difference would be that while I could probably name some things about men’s subconscious desires, I would never claim to know more about it than men themselves. Nor would I use my limited experience to make blanket statements about all men in general.
I don’t think there’s a big mystery why women like an assertive, confident man over a wimpy one. No one is arguing about that. What we are arguing about is how you seem to be translating that into “women want to be dominated and have a man be the boss of the house.”
Are you asking whether confidence and assertiveness are more attractive to women than to men? I think it depends on who you are talking to, but in my experience, both women and men like those traits. It’s impossible to generalize though, because attraction is a subjective thing.
Again, I can certainly deduce certain things based on my personal experiences, but it would be foolish of me to try to generalize about all men based on that. It’s like they say, the plural of anecdotal evidence is not data.
If you did make such a claim, I would not reject it simply because you are not a man.
Similarly, one can envision advertising men who know more than anyone about what motivates people to buy feminine hygeine products, even though those guys
have never bought such products in their lives.
So you have no general view about what approaches will motivate men in general to spend money in nightclubs? If so, I find it hard to believe.
The fact is that everyone generalizes from their experiences and for the most part, it’s pretty non-controversial.
If I had said “Be sure to do something nice for your girlfriend on her birthday – she may say she doesn’t want anything, but don’t believe her,” I doubt anyone would have replied that it’s a mistake for me to generalize based on my experiences.
Then why? Why is it that assertiveness and confidence are so attractive in a man?
Well will you at least concede that some qualities are valued more highly in one sex than in the other? For example, youth.
The same thing that makes those qualities so attractive in a woman. I’d think that most people would want a mature partner in marriage, not a doormat or a child.