Isn’t considering that there are many ways of doing things itself a way of doing things? Likewise, isn’t believing that there are many opinions that matter also an opinion that seems to be regarded as being all that matters?
Choosing, my ass. This woman is simply cowed by religious brainwashing.
Exploitation and emotional abuse (which is what we’re actually talking about) are still morally reprehensible whether they’re legal or not.
Hey, you don’t have to lump me in with those guys. I’ve been in BDSM slave/master relationships, where we just come out and use those terms rather than calling it “traditional family roles” or whatever. But the thing is, I was a dom looking for a sub, they were subs looking for a dom. “Traditional family roles” often seem forced on people (particularly women) because it’s just what they think is expected of them and the guy the OP describe sounds like a total douchebag (and that last point is a big one - I don’t think people would really be getting their panties into twists if he didn’t seem like a complete asshole). Feel free to think I sound like a total douchebag, too, I won’t argue. 
But that’s how I see it.
It seems like you visited his house at the time busiest for her (while she was preparing and cleaning up after a meal) and the most relaxing time for him. If you visited him at 11am on Thursday while he’s at work and she has a few hours to rest before the kids come home from school, it might seem like she’s the lazy one and he’s the hard worker.
You can’t really judge a person’s entire lifestyle by a snapshot.
You can’t know that. You hardly know anything about these people!
Somehow you manage to insult us in almost every post you make.
I don’t really see anyone saying she shouldn’t be allowed to choose it. Is anyone arguing that there should be a law against the kind of relationship these two people are having?
Because that really sounds more like a Conservative worldview to me.
Right now, whith the bit of information I get from the OP, THIS husband is a douchetruck.
But I could be wrong. Maybe he gets her flowers every week.
Douchiness lies in many things, like taking a huge pile of spaghetti knowing full well that there are guests and small children who need dinner. Turning the TV channel to crap, and running out to buy a toy when his wife could have uses help also screams douchey.
I think this marital arrangement can lead to dickish behaviour from the man, it seems to make it easier to start a bad habit. Its’ not what I am looking for and it’s 2 cents from someone who isn’t married.
Christianity requires that women submit to the authority of the man in marriage. The Catholics put it this way.
Casti Connubii
http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/pius_xi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-xi_enc_31121930_casti-connubii_en.html
I love the way the Catholics put things, willing obedience & ready subjection, how romantic.
The Baptists this way.
That. There’s nothing inherently wrong with house/outside-the-house division of labor, as long as both parties have a healthy dose of respect for one another and their respective field of expertise.
The blowing off the wife in company sounds pretty bad (though I’m not clear on what that entails exactly).
The rest - I think it’s OK if both are happy with it; and that the reverse would be equally OK. I know a couple of couples who do the opposite - the man stays at home and the wife works (one is because the guy is trying to become a writer - not sure about the other one, but her job is pretty high-powered).
I did that for a short while myself when I was laid-off. I was without work for only a couple of months, but had no problem with handling all the domestic stuff while job searching.
I do think it’s often beneficial if at least one parent is at home with the kids; I’m not a fan of nannies or all-day daycare and the like.
But the “blowing off the wife” in company sounds rude and disrespectful.
With 2011’s satellite package!
So the “husband” is never around to help out, and leaves the “wife” to deal with the kids? Probably not the interpretation they were wanting.
I won’t go so far as to say, “Best. Exit. Line. Evar.”, but it’s definitely way up towards the top of the list.
Nobody, that’s just how our relationship has been since we started dating many years ago.
It would depend on the circumstances, but if she were unable to accept that I’m the boss in the relationship I would have ended the relationship long ago.
No.
Who says I don’t? She is probably capable of leading the family although she probably would not be as good as me.
Question – why do you want to be in a relationship with someone who sees themselves as subordinate? If you’re in a relationship with them, presumably you see them being intelligent/having good judgment, so wouldn’t you want them to realize they’re just as awesome and smart as you? Assuming you don’t think she has as good judgment as you, why do you want to stay with her? Why intentionally put yourself in an inequal relationship?
Also, if you have daughters, do you worry about them getting bad ideas about relationships? It’s not uncommon to date a lot of assholes when you’re young. What if she sees herself as inherently subordinate just because she’s a woman to a guy who’s a real jerk?
So you would be incapable of being in a relationship with a person who would not subordinate herself to you? Why are you afraid of an equal partnership?
I once knew a wife who had a Biblical marriage. The one time she dared to defy her husband, he beat her so badly she had to go to the hospital. Church members showed up there to let her know it was her own damned fault for not listening to her husband, but they had talked to him and he forgave her, so when she got out of the hospital, she could go right home and concentrate on being a better wife.
She filed assault charges and got a divorce.
It sounds like you are implying that I’m being hypocritical. If that’s the case, then make an argument for that position and I will respond.