Mainly because it’s my preference and also because most girls prefer to be led, although many will not admit it and are not even aware of it themselves.
It’s not really a matter of capabilities as preferences. Even if my wife were just as smart as me I would still prefer to be boss. If her judgment were better than mine then I would give more weight to her input.
Why not? It’s not like it’s carved in stone somewhere that all relationships must be equal. Besides, the laws of statistics pretty much guarantee that there will be a huge male/female imbalance at the upper reaches of the intelligence distribution.
Besides, don’t you think you are being a bit judgmental? Would you ask a gay friend how he could possibly like the idea of being in a relationship with another man?
No I don’t. My daughters see me working hard and exercising leadership for the benefit of the family. I hope that that they men with these qualities for marriage partners.
The first point – we’ve established you prefer it. I’m asking why?
The second point gets a little creepy. If women are saying they don’t like to be led and don’t even know they like it…how do you know what they like? I mean, if I told you that deep down you’d prefer a strong, independent woman, you’d think that was obnoxious.
Why do you assume that?
No, because sexual attraction can’t be changed. I don’t think preference for a subordinate partner is nearly as fixed.
Sure, but teenagers have notoriously bad judgment. I’m not even talking about marriage. What if one of your daughters was going out with a guy pressuring her into sex, as teen boys are wont to do? How can you teach her to stand up to herself when you’re saying at the same time men should lead?
The type of folks I’m talking to typically don’t make actual arguments for any position. But at least one has implied that it’s abuse, and others have said that it just shouldn’t be done, which is tantamount to saying it should be illegal.
Yes, thank you, that is the exact right parallel to draw. The typical liberal doper can’t stand when social conservatives tell others how to run their lives, but they revel in telling others how to run their lives when it comes to economic matters. They think it’s groovy for people to let their freak flag fly on social matters, but on economic matters they are worse than Ward Cleaver. This thread presents an interesting example where the two worldviews get mixed up a bit, so I thought it would be a good teaching moment.
You seek out subservient women that you feel are inferior to yourself in intellect and judgement, and use these contacts to determine that women in general are inferior. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what kind of household you were raised in.
Doesn’t work that way around my farming community. The wives work in the same fields as the husbands, driving the same tractors, milking the same cows.
Then they come in and fix dinner for everyone. The “womens folk” work harder than anyone else.
Leaving aside whatever Biblical justification there may be, I knew a woman who was the very happy sub in a dom/sub relationship. She was by no means intellectually or socially inferior. I don’t get the dynamic, but two consenting adults and all that.
ETA: she made it clear that her relationship extended beyond sexual relations, and that her dom was the dom in all aspects of their life.
I don’t know. Why do you prefer one particular flavor of ice cream over another?
Because I can observe their reactions.
Maybe I would think so, but if you consistently observed the girls I pursued and noticed such a pattern, then that’s reality.
Assume what?
What makes you think that?
The easiest thing to do would be to tell them that they have the right to say “no.” I do concede the possibility that I am increasing the chance that they will be pushed around in relationships. I kinda doubt it since my observation is that the girls who are the most promiscuous; the most abused; etc are from families which were female led. My observation is that girls from traditional families are less likely to be promiscuous; less likely to end up as single moms; etc.
What a load of bullshit. According to my “observations”, the most “promiscuous” (or, for a less sexist term, “liberated”) girls in high school were the ones from 2-parent devoutly Christian families. So I guess my observations cancel yours out.
No, I would be okay with a girl who was smarter than me. I would still insist on wearing the pants, so to speak.
As far as subservient goes, that’s not entirely correct. Like a lot of guys I went through a “nice guy” phase where I treated (or tried to treat) girls as equals. And like most guys, I discovered that girls don’t respond very well to this treatment.
Neither I nor any of my guy friends have had this experience. Quite the opposite. But then, we have relationships with women, not girls. You would remain dateless in the San Francisco Bay Area, I assure you.
Indeed, but that’s a big IF, considering the following:
This is not, on the face of it, a description of a happy woman. In particular, if she is a control freak who has banned her husband from helping out for not doing it right, why is she extremely grateful for offers of help? Why are offers of help necessary? Under this scenario, she should be running things the house the way she wants, and neither need nor be grateful for assistance with it. She’s apologetic for the mess - clearly, then, not actually happy with the situation. Why, based on that description, would you think she might be?
Do you believe she was happy with the decision the husband made to keep watching the graphically violent show in front of the children? Do you think she was happy to be left with hardly any food?
A huge male/female imbalance at the upper reaches of intelligence.
Because I think our experiences shape who we are in terms of who we choose as a partner. Look at girls who grow up in abusive families who as adult women choose abusive males as their own partners. Or men who conversely seek out people they view as weaker/vulnerable/better victims.
You can tell them they can say no, but you’re showing them that in a relationship men have the final, ultimate say. I do think it’s odd that you’re equating “having sex” with promiscuity, though. Most teenagers and young people will have sex – do you think they’re all promiscuous?
A wife that thinks she’s marrying a “nice guy” but ends up with an abusive jerk? Yeah, I’m sure there’s some “significant element of truth” there. Unfortunately you’re the one providing the evidence.