Biblical RPG: Apparently they're not kidding.


I didn’t really just read that… did I? A serious, biblical era role-playing game? Stats for Moses?

Ordinarily I’d stick in a joke, but right now, I’m just boggled.

Just going on the review, that looks pretty goddamned cool.

No pun intended.

That actually sounds pretty awesome. I mean, if you can play Egyptians and Babylonians it’s probably not written by fundamentalists.

Man, I sure hope that my dad finds out about this. He’d go apoplexic trying to reconcile this with his certainty that all RPGs are satanic.

You know, Chronos, Christmas is right around the corner…

Now I’ve seen some more…

The Nephilim were killed in the Flood. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Daniel, I guess, would be a 15th level animal charmer with a +20 to saving throws v. fire.


And they used D&D’s old class and level based mechanics. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

I did a quick search on “Goliath nephilim” and got lots and lots of results. Most of them were extremely sketchy, along the lines of “The truth the Church doesn’t want you to know!” but it does at least show that the idea of Goliath being a descendent of antidiluvean giants isn’t unique to this game.

Testament has been out for a while but it doesn’t seem to have caused any controversy.



Actually, no – they’re using D&D 3.5 Edition mechanics. It’s a D20 product, meaning it agrees to a license to be compatible with the Player’s Handbook.

And Chronos, I wouldn’t give this to your dad just yet: the book seems to consider piety to the ancient Babylonian gods to be a reasonable option, just as piety toward YaHuWaHu is a viable option. In fact, the book does away entirely with the concept of good and evil.

It looks pretty cool to this atheist :).


Izzat some new search engine or something?

I remember some christian based RPG from back in the 80’s where you had stats for the armor of God, spirit and faith. I never played it, but the design was an obvious attempt to lure D&D players into some kind of evangelical ambush.

That looks pretty interesting - now, I just gotta figure out a way to import some of my “Call of Cthulhu” stuff into it. :smiley:

You know they have a d20 version of Call of Cthulhu, right?

[stupid announcer voice]
And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The duel of the dieties, the match of the millenium, the test of dark, unspeakable power against good old-fashioned divine smackdown!

In the red corner, the greatest of the old ones, the lord of the darkest pits of the human pysche, old squiddy himself, Great Cthulu!

Cthulu steps out and waves his tentacles. We hear cheers, boos, maniacal laughter as audience members get a good look and go utterly nuts

In the blue corner, the Alpha and Omega, the God of the Isrealites, the fire and doom miester of the cosmos, Jehova!

Jehova swaggers out, makes a gestute, and sets the ropes of the ring on fire. We hear enthusiastic cheers, and manic gibbering from those who didn’t look away from Cthulu in time.

Lets get ready to rummmmmmble!
[/stupid announcer voice]

I’m not discounting the fact that Goliath’s giantism has been attributed to cross-breeding with the antediluvian monsters by both Jewish and Christian commentators. I’m just pointing out the the logical inconsistency in that theory given that only Noah and his family survives the Flood. But logic is often not an issue for some scriptural commentators.

One way around it, if you want a logical mythos, is to purport that all ancient monsters were due to interbreeding between angels (both light and dark) with humanity. That way, you can reintroduce monstrous half-breeds back into the world after the Flood.


Roll a save v. leprosy at -3.

So what happens when God rolls a 1 and Satan rolls a 20, resulting in Satan winning the day?

Does the fanatically conservative GM’s head explode?

  • ITS CTHULHU NOT CTHULU * ** Journeyman ** - well at least as close as the tongue of man can speak it. Now for this battle, do either I or Jehova have 1920’s “Death Rays?”

You’re awake. What does that mean for our little planet?


Call me when they do a crossover with Toon. :wink:

Or, even better – Paranoia! “Friend Computer, I have evidence that reporting JesusC-R-IST is a commie mutant traitor!” :smiley: