My lovely wife, who has posted questions under my account before, has been finding herself reading the Dope more and more. She’s finally been inspired to make her first-ever account on an internet message board. Please give a warm Doper welcome to PaleAndTragic.
Welcome, PAT! But why are you pale, and why are you tragic?
Welcome.
Please deposit the mandatory pie in the slot to your right.
Here is your periapt of righteous outrage, and your cloak of tears.
Release the goats!
I burning your dog!
Love, The Grapist
It’s working. 
Hello PaleAndTragic, be welcome. Enjoy your stay. 
Welcome. JSexton and I have corresponded on various venues for a long time, and it’s nice to meet another member of the family. He’s always seemed like a very down to earth and level headed guy, and also pretty darn smart. I’m happy the two of you share an interest in the kind of stuff this message board is all about.
Enjoy,
Steven
Welcome PaleandTragic! What took ya so long?
Welcome, PaleandTragic! Whatever JSexton may have told you about us, well. . .
If he told you we’re geeky/nerdy/boring, sorry to break it to you honey, but he was lying.
If he told you we are hip/cool/brilliant, he was understating the glaringly obvious!
Welcome, welcome! Would you like some wasabi mint ice cream? It’s [del]frisky[/del] fresh!
Time for her to sign up for some Mafia games! That’ll get your post count up in no time, PaleandTragic
Welcome, PAT! If you’ve been reading for a while, I guess you know what you’re getting into…
… or do you?
Mwah hah hah hah!
JSexton, your mistress just joined this board last week. Are you not worried about this?
Welcome!
Have you been to Baía, PaleAndTragic?
Greetings and salutations!
I, for one, welcome our new member. A month or so of the “Dope” will help you with your tragic bits.
Happy Doping!
PAT–welcome, oh Gothic One!
Thank you, thank you for the warm welcome, peer pressure does work folks : ) Not so much goth, but a huge fan of the movie Clue, although I will plead guilty to the paleness.