I am aware that there are some couples who are both on the Dope, and even some parents and children, too. However, I’d assume that the majority of married/attached users use SDMB and their partners do not. Thus, I present the following question:
What does your non-Doper spouse/SO think about the Dope and your usage of it? Do you talk about it with them? Do you discuss threads that you participate in?
mrs.kidneyfailure finds the Dope puzzling. She wonders why I “waste so much time with that damn webpage.” I sometimes discuss interesting things I read on here with her and also tell her about the threads I’m in, particularly the heated discussions. She’s not impressed, though. While telling her about the rivalry I had with even sven earlier, mrs.kidneyfailure said it was “stupid” and told me to “get a life.” I asked her if she wanted to join and she shot me down immediately. She will sometimes refer to SDMB in a sarcastic manner when I’m looking for some kind of answer: “Why don’t you ask the people on the Straight…Dope…Message…Board?” she asks, with each word pronounced slowly and clearly (for some reason).
My non-doper wife thinks my attachment to a message board is at best endearing and at worst somewhat creepy. I don’t really discuss threads with her, unless it’s something that my non-US background makes me unfamiliar with. She really only asks about the Dope to see if I’m saying anything about her (typically, when she comes into the office and sees that I’m reading a thread about SOs, or whatever).
I more or less have her agreement to attend an OrlanDope, which I suspect is based largely, if not entirely, on her looking at nashitashii’s Facebook page and determining that she’s awesome and The Kind of Person [my wife] Would Like.
ETA: My wife totally does that, “why don’t you ask the SDMB?” thing too! Also, my coworkers.
My husband isn’t a Doper either. He has met some of the Dopers though, and really liked them.
He asks me all the time how **Swampy **is doing. I read a lot of the threads to him.
It’s not his thing, but he doesn’t really make fun of me for it. He thinks it’s pretty cool that if I happen to go TDY where other Dopers live, I make a point of meeting up with them.
My wife thinks i spend too much time here (she’s probably right), but she also appreciates that it’s a good resource. She sometimes asks me to post questions here, and not in a snarky or sarcastic way. She recognizes the usefulness of having access to people who have a broad range of experiences and expertise, and who might be able to answer questions in a way that a simple Google search can’t emulate.
Mig walks up to the computer when he sees me typing:
Him: Who are you talking to?
Me: Nobody. I’m typing.
Him, every single time: Whatever. Who are you talking to?
Me: Nobody. I’m posting on the Dope.
Then I have to stop what I’m doing and explain in a way that won’t somehow offend him or otherwise piss him off. He doesn’t like me talking about how poor we are, from what I’ve recently gathered. He can’t read English well enough to know, so about half the time I tell him it’s about LOST or a recipe. I tried to explain in the beginning but he’d wander off about halfway through my reply. I really don’t think he cares as long as I’m not hooking up with anyone.
But he ALWAYS asks me to ask “the computer” if he wants to know something. Seriously. He says, “Why you don’t aska you computee?”
Awwww… Mr. Taters asks about me! I guess naming a recipe for potatoes after his suggestion paid off.
My SO calls y’all my imaginary playmates, especially those who are regulars in the MMP. He is surprised at the amount of useful information I gain from The Dope.
Facebook, on the other hand, can somewhat perturb him. I waste waaaaaay to much time there.
Funny, I usually get the same response from my SOs (not that I have more than one at any given time, but you know what I mean). For some reason it always seems to come up during an unrelated argument: “I don’t know, why don’t you put it on the Dope?”.
I don’t know if it’s just because it’s something they’re not a part of or if they think I’m being all superior about it. Either way, none of them has ever decided to join… they just usually listen politely when I say, “So I was reading the Dope today…”
But maybe that’s how we want it, yeah? I could see this place as being a respite from the everyday relationship grind. Maybe if all our SOs were on here too, we would be more hesitant to open up about things. On the other hand, it might knock down some communication barriers that some couples obviously have…
My SO doesn’t get it, as he is not a computer kinda guy… But will ask me whàt I am doing, and when I say, I am posting on my message board that I frequent, will nod and the ask, and what do they say? He would only be bothered if I were posting really intimate stuff (for instance, what we are fighting about at that moment)- the random life stuff doesn’t seem to faze him.
Mr. Levins calls it “Straight Doping,” or “Doping.” As in, “What are you doing, babe? Oh, you’re Doping.”
He has zero interest in using the computer for anything but research and email, so he has no interest at all in message boards, but he doesn’t care at all that the computer is what I call “My ESPN.” (Where I go to zone out.) Occasionally I will share with him some interesting threads, or topics I run across; just last night actually I asked him if he knew how to braid hair, in response to the thread about “50 things every American should know how to do.”
He looked completely confused as to why I would ask him such a thing, until I said, “It’s a thread on Straight Dope.” And then he laughed and understood. (No, he does not know how to braid hair.)
SO’s who are hostile about the SDMB strike me as a bit odd; I don’t resent the time that Mr. Levins spends watching ESPN so why on earth would he resent my Doping? Every couple has varying interests. If I were on here ten hours a day that would be a problem, but then again if he watched ESPN for ten hours a day I would have a problem with that, too.
My non-Doper spouse is just glad I’m not spending my time on the computer trying to pick up Thai hookers on local “dating” sites. And she’s always glad to help out the Board with a question about Thailand when I ask her.
Luckily mine doesn’t read enough English to know what I’m doing. Nor me for his computer! My 14 year old is getting to be able to read enough English that I sometimes navigate away from whatever I’m reading on here if he’s sitting with me. The ten year old can’t read that much English yet so I’m still safe from him for a while!
This works the other way too though as I’m not entirely sure who the 14 year old is communicating with, nor what the contents are. Sigh. I think he’s trustworthy but who knows??!
The late misterred used to refer to the Dope (jokingly) as the commie-pinko folks. He didn’t care though, he was busy with his own interests, like Civil War sites and SEC football. Kept him out of my hair long enough to surf the Dope.
Mine isn’t hostile about the Dope, but certainly looks upon it with some disdain. I have heard the “Why don’t you ask your Doper people”, and sometimes I share threads with him. He does think of you guys as…somewhat supercilious, and a bit superior.
He likes message boards that are very very specific…and he only uses them for specific reasons. He’ll go on a computer message board and post a question on how to fix something specific on his computer, but he never chats with people online. Never has.
I have been chatting with people in one form or another since the AOL days. I love chatting with people online. I need it.
I’m a regular reader/poster at about high-traffic 10 message boards and it’s not a subject of conversation for us. He’s not very interested in the internet. I doubt he would know the name of this one, even though he can see I’m on it all the time (I usually surf sitting on the couch next to him while he watches tv).
My non-Doper husband just completely accepts it and says things like, “Oh, you read it on the Dope.” or “Is that something you got off the board?” Mostly we just call it the board though.
Yeah my boyfriend just refers to the Dope as “the message board.” I’ll read him tidbits and sometimes he asks me to post something. But he’s not interested in being part of an online community and thinks it’s rather geeky.
My wife is totally fine with it, but has no inclination to participate. OK, she’s not fine with it If I’m on it when I’m supposed to be doing something else, but that’s understandable.
