[Moderator Hat ON]
I’ve edited the thread title for more truth in advertising; we don’t want people coming in here planning to flame Billy Joel and being disappointed because it’s actually manhattan who’s under attack. That’s a completely different New York State of Mind.
Ouch.
[Moderator Hat OFF]
Reality check, folks. People can feel any way they want, but how they act here matters. It really is quite simple: don’t be a jerk. Sheesh! Does everything have to get turned into a debate over interpretation, political correctness and case law?
Understand this, questioning the intent behind a dubious comment isn’t “authoritarian, accusatory, insulting and abusive.” It’s a responsiblity and also gives the poster a chance to explain what they DID mean. Pretty simple, huh? Maybe something just came out the wrong way–or maybe it was a deliberate, bigoted slam.
What’s the alternative? Just ignore things? Just ignore some things? Which things? Don’t even ask in case it might make someone feel huffy?!
None of us, mods included, have a “right” to post here. G.Nome is no frail little flower or confused newbie. She’s been around this block several times before. Unfortunately, and for reasons best known to herself, she indulges in oblique attacks and offensive comments, then retreats into full-fledged incoherence when she’s called on it.
Manny and Lynn had a responsibility to get clear on what G. Nome meant.
Veb
And G.Nome’s refusal to give anything akin to a straight answer is what got her booted.
It’s not about “you can’t say this or that about these groups”; it’s about “when the moderators ask you a question, don’t get huffy and/or evasive.”
I am getting really sick of the whining about mod actions on this board.
I read that stupid remark from G.Nome and took it as a slur against gays. Sorry if the shitty stereotype of AIDS=gay still lingers, I don’t actually think that, but it popped into my head as soon as I read that. Sorry again.
ANYWAY, to those who don’t think that it was a slam- then why couldn’t she just say oops, my bad, and move on? I don’t know.
But this bullshit has got to stop. If you don’t like how this board is administered, get the fuck off of it. Don’t post these whiny threats to leave- just go.
Moderators are very important to keep this board civil and user-friendly, and do a pretty good job of it. I am not a mod ass-kisser. I have been warned in a couple of threads when I got pissy and started flinging inappropriate insults in other forums. Each time, a mod pointed out the problem, and I quit doing it and apologized, both in the thread and by email to the mod. It is just not that difficult to be polite and follow the rules of the board.
Get off of Manhattan, he’s tired and needs a break.
Well, see, I can’t. But that’s the whole point of this entire debate.
What the hell does that mean? What the hell is she implying? I’m not sure! “… you’ll end up with your name on a quilt” seems pretty deragortory to me, as it did to others. Is it “mocking” or “deriding” or anything else to gays or people with AIDS? G. Nome was asked this simple question, and she did not give a simple answer.
Yeah, I would generally agree with that. But when somone very specifically asks for a one-word yes or no answer, and you continue to beat around the bush and avoid giving that answer, it serves more to make one wonder.
What no one seems to get–not even really the moderators or administrators who’ve weighed in here–is that it’s far less important that G.Nome’s remark was insulting (which is open to a little Clintonian sidestepping, as G. has so shamelessly demonstrated) than that it was merely flippant.
AIDS is one of those subjects (along with the Holocaust, rape, pederasty, etc.) that carries its own variant of Godwin’s Law: if you’re going to use it to illustrate a point, you’d better be damn sure its use is justified, and respectful.
To make an offhand, flippant remark about AIDS and its victims for no better reason than fishing for giggles is inherently insulting, whether you feel the remark itself is demonstrably so or not.
G. Nome should be ashamed, and contrite, and I support the rules of the SDMB that have furloughed her.
I’m a pretty solid supporter of the moderators, but if I may say so without fear of repercussion (waving nervously at the mods), I think the hard-handed approach was a little overkill here.
If, indeed, “bread in a jar” is a reference to anal sex (who knew?), then G. Nomes’s remark is tasteless, yes. But anal sex leads can indeed lead to AIDS. I akin it to my friend with Hodgkins saying he was going to take a dirt nap soon. It’s a flippant joke about something unfunny.
That being said, I thought Manny’s reaction was very aggressive (“Explain yourself NOW!”) considering the circumstances. If it’s not against the rules to entitle a thread “Why I don’t trust Republicans” then surely it shouldn’t be against the rules to insinuate, in a joking way,that anal sex leads to AIDS.
I mean, do the people who are thinking up tasteless Jesse Jackson jokes as we speak really think adultery is funny?
I’d like to nominate PunditLisa for this year’s Marie Antoinette award for Just Not Getting It.
Rather than repeat myself, PL, I’ll just direct you to my post above. Read it slowly.
(Though I’m not very optimistic that anyone who would equate the appropriateness of AIDS as wisecrack fodder with that of adultery will ever get it.)
I think lissener has it exactly right. G. Nome made an unthinkingly flip remark, not considering how it might be taken. When the mods gave her an opportunity to rethink it, and say something like, “Well, no, I didn’t mean it to be a cruel slur,” she didn’t, and thereby she made it worse. Her remark, her refusal to take responsibility, her fault. Period.
Part of the thing, too, is that G. Nome has a history around here. Newer members jumping to her defense might not realize how long she’s been playing this semi-coherent random chain-pulling game, but believe me, this is far from her first offense. This is the latest example of a long string of questionable behavior, and the mods are fully justified in calling her on it yet again.
Vaginal sex - if not more so, than at least equally.
Esprix
Esprix, I love you so much.
Cervaise’s point about newbies jumping in to the fray is well taken. Sorry. I forget that bulletin boards are very real for a lot of people.
Now…back to Billy Joel. Alessan…“weak album?!?” Glass Houses has got to be my favorite Billy Joel Album. Great, singable, pop genius…although my memory may be clouded by the few songs on that album I LOVE…there could be more filler in there than I recall. It also beats the hell out of his later, softy stuff like the Bridge and Storm Front. What album are you partial to?
I don’t understand…I see posts implying that G.Nome has been ‘booted’, but there is no ‘BANNED’ next to her title…what has happened? If G.Nome has in fact been kicked out for giving a multi-word answer instead of the one word one demanded, then I am out of here myself.
Esprix said:
That doesn’t appear to be true, according to recent HIV and AIDS statistics from the Centers for Disease Control.
According to their table, “AIDS cases by age group,exposure category, and sex,reported through June 2000, United States,” there have been 348,657 cases of men becoming infected with AIDS traced to having sex with other men. There have been 50,257 cases of women contracting AIDS that were traced to having sex with men, about one-seventh the homosexual male sex number.
There are several other factors listed on the table, such as IV drug use, receiving HIV-tainted blood transfusions, and infected mothers passing the disease or infection on to their babies.
I would venture a guess (and there are probably stats at the CDC site that point this out, but I only took a quick look) that a very solid number, if not a majority of the cases of women contracting HIV or AIDS from sex with men involved anal sex.
It makes sense that the anal opening is less receptive as a point of entry than the vagina, thus more susceptible to broken blood vessels or capillaries, or small tears in the intestinal wall. And, as everyone knows, blood-to-blood contact is the most direct way to contract the virus.
I’m surprised you said what you said, Esprix. Am I missing something?
He has said it before, and I’m not sure where he is getting his information.
Make whatever you choice you deem best.
No, she hasn’t been banned. One more time, the hit-and-run pattern has held.
But you do whatever you believe you should do.
In the meantime, may I point out that Elshpen and other posters have been futiley trying to discuss the original topic? Remember? Billy Joel?
I suggest that anyone so dissatisfied and offended they feel the need to vent further start their own thread.
Veb
ummm…
Like a week ago or so I though Manhattan was in the wrong, was abusing his power somewhat, and was somewhat in the wrong… If this is the kinda shit he deals with daily, I take it all back. ALL OF IT. My god people it’s cut and dry. The person who runs and controls the boards asked for an answer and was not given it. What the fuck is the problem here?
I believe that he WAS given an answer. How can you read G.Nome’s response and believe it was ambiguous in any way?
because… idiot… manhattan asked for a one word response and was not given it…
If I say yes or no… did you make comments calling for the extermination of jews and you answer, some of my best friends are jews, you aren’t answering the question. You’re avoiding it, like G.nome did.
You want AIDS facts? I just started this thread. Check it out.
Esprix