G. nome you are an idiot.

[Profane]

G. nome you are a complete fucking moron. A bizarre, paranoid, deluded whacko. Your posts make no sense. You state “facts” with absolutely no cites. You think the FBI is out to get you, even though you live in New Zealand. Your assertions have included some of the most fucked up, outlandish shit I’ve ever heard. Do you walk around in a sandwich board in your spare time? Do they have internet access at your mental institution? This is the thread that really got me started. A discussion about “Right of first night” led to you stating that scientists are making people impotent with “black boxes,” & that women will become extinct. WTF??
I thought this crap sounded familiar, so I went back to see what else you had posted. I am dumbfounded. Words cannot adequately describe how loony you are.

For more G. nome gems please visit the following threads.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=29475
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=19187
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15093

And my personal favorite, The Ahem Question
May I suggest you get some mental help, and stop posting this crap here?

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Aw, come on, Luna. It’s folks like G.Nome that add spice to the proceedings here. Without him, we’d have nothing but endless boring discussions of “when should I rotate my tires?” and “graywater recycling–an idea whose time has come?” and “the pros and cons of Velcro”.

I enjoy his stuff a lot. G.Nome, you are tops in my book. Say, just exactly where do I go to get my “genitical modification”?

[Myndephuquer]

BAHAHAHAHA!!!

That is one warped motherfucker!!!
I think he was squicked at birth, has had a diet consisting entirely of lead paint and mercury, raised in a colony of rabid retarded three-toed sloths, where they used his head to open coconuts, and he currently has a job in center hole at the “Whack-A-Mole” at Six Flags.

That is some funny shit that he’s typing. It’s funny because he fucking thinks it’s all true. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I’ve said that I miss Dippy Monger, because he’s such a tard. G. nome has brought a smile to my face again.
Thank you, lunasea.

lunasea (re: G. nome):

I am dumbfounded. Words cannot adequately describe how loony you are.

damn straight! truer words have not been typed today.

[SaxFace]

Is it just me, or does anyone else think G.Nome is the son or daughter or whatever of handy and bjorn?

[Myndephuquer]

G. nome: (in “Ahem” thread)

I’ve thought long and hard about saying “diapers” believe me. I don’t even know current FBI interrogation protocol - is it underwear or no underwear? I try to stay away from clocktowers. That’s how I could go walking in the moonlight last night - something a convicted teenage killer never will be able to do. I hope you’re right. Maybe child and adult bullying doesn’t exist in the form I’ve tried to describe. You convincingly find the ahem thing unintelligible. Look under the subject heading More Penis Questions (still more if you want more) for a better FBI/safety pin answer. Thank you for asking.

[James T. Kirk voice]Oh…fuck…brain…turning…in…side…out…not…under…stand…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!![/James T. Kirk voice]

[Profane]

Wait, it gets better! G. nome is a woman. A woman with a science degree (That’s why she’ll survive the technology-led elimination of mankind, you know.) :rolleyes:

[lunapark]

THis is my favorite G.Nome quote, also from the AHEM thread:

I have discovered that I not only dislike the sound of the ahem word I hate the sight of it on the
screen. I become upset. However, in my short time on/in The Straight Dope I’ve used too many of
the FBI’s favourite words (sect, motherfucker, safety pins etc) - if there was intelligence here they’d be gathering. So I won’t be drawn into feuds or reminiscing about my days in the little log cabin with Ted. But if there is one thing I know about people who use the ahem it’s that they don’t like people “expressing doubt or warning” back at them. So I can be pretty sure that if I type ahem all over this screen I will get a reply from someone who is offended by this. And then I won’t
be the last poster for a change. By the way what happened to the Abba guy - Bjorn? Was he considered a feuder as well?
Here goes: ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem

Bwhaaaaaaaaa!! What is that?? LOL. This guy is barely coherent.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Oh, come on, you guys, on behalf of both Handy and BjOrn I want to register a formal protest. G.Nome is obviously unique, one of a kind, no way could he have sprung from the coupling of mere mortals.

You should all be nicer to him–it’s not his fault the MotherShip left him behind by accident. Let’s go over to GQ and see if there’s any info about how to construct a “phone home” device. I bet Handy would know–oh, no, wait a minute, what am I saying here…?

[lunapark]

Aww, pardon me. This gal is barely coherent.

[FBI voice] “Picking up a reading on excessive ‘ahems’.” :Pulling up to G. Nome’s house:
“Come out with your hands up!! Do not utter an ahem. If you do you will be immedialty exiled to your motherplanet, NomeianahemParanoidlostcausian.” [FBI voice]

[hawthorne]

Clearly none of you have visited the Land of the Long White Cloud.

When the mud boils and all the sheep have names, a man turns to performance art.

G. Nome is a bit odd, that’s all. I wouldn’t worry [checks depth of Tasman Strait].

picmr

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Well, I doubt that he’s related to Handy. But he’s definitely related to BjOrn, because when I applied the “BjOrn Incomprehensibility WordPad FixMaster Express” to his “Ahem” OP, it worked.

Am I paranoid? “People have already accused me of sounding paranoid about many things…”

or do I deserve an answer? “…so I hope someone will give me a straight answer on this.”

When people start “ahemming” in a distinctive, unpleasant style what does it mean? “I’ve noticed that sometimes people will go ‘ahem’ in a distinctive, unpleasant way, that’s totally different from just clearing their throats. Why do they do this? What are they really trying to say?”

Nicole Kidman provides an excellent example of this in Eyes Wide Shut. “Nicole Kidman does this in the movie Eyes Wide Shut. She goes ‘ahem’ at somebody. What is she really trying to tell them, what message is she trying to get across?”

Media people use it and I hear it in every day life. “Media people do this, and also I hear regular John Does do it, too.”

It is as if coughers all belonged to some sort of sect and wanted to assert their beliefs but have no other way of doing it. “I perceive it as being a type of aggressive behavior, similar to ‘buttonholing’ by some proselytizing religious sects.”

I’m certain this coughing has nothing to do with scientology “…it probably doesn’t really have anything to do with a religious sect such as Scientology…”

but because the ahem sounds so nastily “exclusory” it could have everything to do with a Columbine High situation (in my mind at least)."…but because it does sound so aggressive, it could be connected to other kinds of aggressive behaviors. Perhaps the people who ‘ahem’ a lot at other people have a lot of unresolved conflicts, some of which might manifest themselves as a Columbine High-type of massacre."

Think carefully before all “I don’t know what you mean” posts. “Please don’t be rude to me. This is meant as a serious question.”

Congratulations to the Viking on the birth of a–offspring!

[Missy2U]

Oh.
My.
God.

[Ivar]

In response to following from “ahem” thread:

“However, in my short time on/in The Straight Dope I’ve used too many of
the FBI’s favourite words (sect, motherfucker, safety pins etc) - if there was intelligence here they’d be gathering. So I won’t be drawn into feuds or reminiscing about my days in the little log cabin with Ted.”

What the fuck is wrong with this LOON? Is he saying he hung out with Ted Kaczinski in the Montana wilderness? And that the FBI is after him, though I understnd he lives in New Zealand?
If he really did know the Unabomber, and stayed with him… we’ve really got to be wondering about this man’s sanity.

Though certainly a lot of what he is saying is delusional. Which also makes us wonder about his sanity.

Either way i think G.nome is fucked in the melon.

[JeffB]

DDG, I agree that G. Nome is quite entertaining; I think the term loony describes G. Nome perfectly. BTW, you of all people should notice that G. Nome is a woman.

[Grendel69]

Good god. You know you’re a wack job when someone named “lunasea” is calling you a loony.

[Missy2U]

Ahem - JeffB - are you telling me that there is the possibility of REPRODUCTION here? Heaven help us, help us all.

You know, I swear I thought this person was just goofing off. I read the threads that lunasea linked to, and I really truly thought this was some kind of “joke”.

Please - someone - tell me that this is a joke and there really isn’t someone walking around out there that is really this disturbed.

Please!

[JeffB]

*Originally posted by Missy2U *
**Ahem - JeffB - are you telling me that there is the possibility of REPRODUCTION here? Heaven help us, help us all. **

You can bet that if G. Nome does decide to reproduce, it will be with the local aristocracy!

[Spider]

I didn’t feel the thread properly explained “safety pins,” and I am REALLY curious about diapers.

And just so I can get on the same FBI list she is on, I’ll just throw motherfucker, sect, and ahem into this post.

[i1055]

my first opinion of g.nome is that he/she is, forgive me for not knowing the correct message board term, what i think some refer to as a troll, posting outrageous stuff just to waste our time and then watching as all the responses to the idiotic posting come pouring in

my second opinion is that g.nome is not (insert “crazy” type word here), but he/she just lets what is going on inside his/her mind flow out, sort of as, my father used to say, diarrhea of the mind

i am leaning toward my first opinion, which by posting i have been sucked into this “trolling”, (correct word??)

i think we should all just let it flow out of our minds like g.nome, perhaps it is cleansing, renewing

i also believe that i can pick up on radio signals seconds before they are broadcast through my radio, many times i can accurately guess which song is about to come on the radio before it is even played. i think that we as humans do not need radios and tvs to listen or to watch the signals that are broadcast, i think we can pick them up if we just learn how.

but deeper than this i think that some sup3rp0w3r is keeping us humans in check by broadcasting “messages” to us that we are receiving subconsciously… that is why i wear a hat made out of aluminum foil, but i now have my suspicions that the aluminum foil industry is controlled by the previously mentioned sup3rp0w3r… by the way i must type the word sup3rp0w3r in that manner to avoid it alerting any of the email message board scanning government controlled “3ch3lon” type devices

LOUIS (to the horse)
I am Vinz Clortho. Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?
The COACHMAN sees Louis talking to his horse.
COACHMAN
Hey! He pulls the wagon. I make the deals. You wanna ride?

LOUIS (to Coachman)
Are you the Gatekeeper?

COACHMAN
No, I’m the Governor of New Jersey. Now get outta here.

Louis glares at the Coachman. His eyes begin to glow, magically.

LOUIS (to Coachman)
You will perish in flames, subcreature! Gozer will destroy you and your kind! (he whispers to the horse) Wait for the sign. Then all prisoners will be released.

out.

[Germ_Boy]

This is almost as good as a cold beer.

Nah.