So many straight lines, so little time (or, let's clear it up for G. Nome)

Originally posted by G. Nome in the What Happened to these Dopers thread here:

I’ve numbered the straight lines to make it easier. The TM’s can supply the rejoinders. I’ll take the first one…

One - FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions. Do you mean you’d like to see an IIEAQNNDWAPNWB section (Infrequently If Ever Asked Questions Not Normally Dealt With And Probably Never Will Be)? There’s an entire forum dedicated to answering questions about this message board (to coin a phrase). In that forum, you can actually ask a moderator a question, and they’ll even answer you! (You do have to ask, though. They save their precognitive skills for who’s looking good in the fourth at Belmont.)

There are announcements as the need arises.

See? That was easy.


It’s so you don’t think of us as whores. Maybe a kiss on the first date, a little tongue on the second, some foolin’ around on the third. But if we told all the first time, you’d never respect us. And we couldn’t respect ourselves either.

TWO - I don’t even know what the fuck that means.

He’s a fucking troll anyway. Why feed him? Let him whither and die of starvation…

Yer pal,
Satan - Commissioner, The Teeming Minions

Five months, two weeks, five days, 22 minutes and 41 seconds.
6880 cigarettes not smoked, saving $860.08.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 2 days, 21 hours, 20 minutes.

*“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. (Amen, brother!)

:: wanders back to MPSIMS mumbling that G.Nome had some surprisingly good ideas mixed in there ::

Ditch the favorite – she’s having her Lasix debut and I didn’t like her last few training runs anyway.

Bet $20 to win on Astickyproposition and a $4 wheeled exacta with Talespin and Sing A’cord. The odds will narrow as the race gets closer and the smart money gets in, but don’t worry about that. Your risk/reward is still working for you on these bets.

You’re welcome.

Three It isn’t exactly important but it does let people reading your post know that there are certain guidelines, instructions and protocol that you should be aware of if you have been posting for “X” number of months/posts. Sometimes it is misleading.

Four I haven’t seen any but if you know something we don’t, feel free to share.
So far as letting it starve, shrivel up and die, I would love to but it seems to be carrying supplies with it–IT JUST WON’T DIE!!!

Hey, I think this is the 4th anti-me thread this year. If it wasn’t for that fact that I just don’t really conceive of Straight Dope members as real people I’d be wondering when my head was starting the 360 degree spin. I think I’m evidence that the world wide web idea is flawed. Before I went on-line I read a lot of books about the idea of the Internet - Resisting the virtual life, War of the Worlds, Cyberfutures, High Velocity, that kind of thing. So when I went on-line I was brainwashed by all that distortion of space/time axis stuff. Human potential unbounded by physicality, simultaneity, lack of spatial proximity. So I didn’t know any better than to take an interest in the Straight Dope even though it’s based in a country far far away. But I think that’s my problem. Until they get the transporter beam working geography is always going to matter. The misunderstandings generated between me and you come from a difference in location. I have no evidence for your reality and you haven’t got any for mine. You keep going on about trolls when, by the definition you give for one, this is the hall of the mountain king. I should have gone by now but…I don’t know why not. It’s the consensus thing I suppose. There’s only ever, say, 50 people anti-me, not the whole 10,000.

That should tell you something.

50 people “hate” you, and you think that’s a GOOD thing? What, are you going for all 10,000? Maybe even trying to get a G.Nome is a fucking idiot" thread started by Cecil himself?

Sheesh, it’s like Aha, except without intelligence. Aha, you don’t have a twin who was lobotomized recently, do you?

the scary thing is ::brave smile:: G Nome and I apparently share a ‘common culture’ and 99.9% of the time I don’t understand what the fuck G Nome is on about. I mean it is not easy to admit that G Nome is also apparently a New Zealander…

Unless of course G Nome is a JAFA in which case I can relax.

I do have a question for G Nome though. Are you labouring under the delusion that you are the only New Zealander on the WWW? If one considers that your difficulties do seem to be purely localised around the being known as G Nome, it all becomes a touch more personal and to have sod all to do with cultural perceptions and a lot more to do with the intelligence or lack thereof of G Nome.

Are you all from eugenics 101? Why the obsessive interest in intelligence? You know mine must be at least average because of the elementary reading and writing skills required to become a contributor to this board. If you can name specific instances when I have demonstrated lower levels please do so. Why not make intelligence tests a requirement for registration.

Primaflora: The misinterpretations you make of what I said are farcical. And as far as I’m concerned, you can be the New Zealander. That whole Weetbix eating, sherpa-loving, human rights-respecting image you get by on is a complete facade.

I have read a few G. Nome threads, and have NO idea why everyone seems to be against her(?) Just cos she goes off on a tangent, and you don’t always understand everything she says doesn’t mean you should all jump on her. "Must get everyone to post normally, no-one should be any different, heil, etc). I never saw her when she arrived. Maybe she did something to really get you people spitting blood, but all I see is people having a go. She doesn’t seem to be a troll to me. I don’t understand some of what she writes, but I still find some of it interesting, and some of it funny.

SPOOFE Bo Diddly: You’ve heard of S & M haven’t you? You know that the S’s usually speak like you and the M’s are the ones who treasure the bruises from a good spanking - or in this case, cyber-spanking. You may be able to guess who that role is played by here. You’d like to take an M out now and again probably, but you aren’t too sure about that second round. But consider this: you could be building up a debt. In the words of Greg Dulli - you play it but hate to pay.


see her attacks on several posters. She is posting for a negative response, and that is trolling.

She attacks other dopers. I dont carte how exactly she writes or what she writes about, but because she is trying to provoke other people to attack her, I have no time for her.

TOF, it doesn’t seem like G.Nome attacked anyone in the thread you linked to.

Thank you Biffer Spice. I had never said a single negative thing about anyone until Lunasea’s G. Nome you are an idiot thread. I have done since then but it has always been in the service of reciprocality. Lunasea’s and TVeblen’s insults were so very horrible that I just can’t fathom how anyone could blame me. But, because I don’t know them and they don’t know me it’s all very meaningless as far as I’m concerned. It’s just pathetic and my participation in it all is masochistic. The whole world wide web is out there. There are millions of message boards and millions of people. This is just one tiny group.

sorry, how about this

are you saying that she isn’t attacking Spoofe?

here is something thaqt she does a lot. alters other peoples posts to get a response

jack never said this.

This one above was for spoofe

here she alters my words

here she insults Pepperlandgirl

here misquoting Veb
Still say she didnt attack anyone?

Anybody wanna comment on this, or do you think it stands on its own?

I’ll say it for the last time. Everything negative I’ve said is for reasons of reciprocity. I did not attack these people first. They started it. Jack Batty, Pepperland Girl, TVeblen, Spoofe Bo Diddly caused my retorts (as varied as they are) by their vitriolic behaviour towards me. The thing is, they intended to seriously damage my self-esteem whereas my comebacks are largely just playing around. What’s wrong with discussing the kids’ Maybe it’s a good idea. And misuse of the quotes just shows up software weirdness. I probably hang around waiting for one valid criticism, one real insult that will hurt me, the kind only people who know you can give. But I can’t see that happening.

Not tiny enough yet. We’ll miss you. But your friends at need you more than we do. Buh-Bye.

Oh, boo-hoo.

Mrs. Nome, meet Mr. Door.