Birth Control Problems

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
1

This is not (necessarily) a thread about sex, so all you perverts (ok, I’m one too, but not in THIS case) can do yer thing in other threads. grin

I’m having some difficulties. First, the history:

I have been on birth control pills before. I have a natural 31-33 day cycle, which is quite long. In an effort to shorten it, as well as keep me from getting pregnant, I was on the pill as a teenager. Now, as a teenager I was also pretty fucked in the head. I was a VERY abused child, repeatedly and long-term sexually abused, and beaten several times, not to mention all kinds of other crap (mental stuff as well as physical). It took years before I was able to get on with my life and not be depressed/suicidal/etc. When I went homeless at 17 or so I came off the pill. Can’t afford pills - or gyn’s - if you can only afford 25 cents for ramen for lunch that you begged off passersby. So I never knew whether it was affecting me or not. I suspect it might have been.

Fast forward several years. I had Johnathan at 21. After going through a very maternal-feeling pregnancy (oh, first kid, I was… it’s sick, really - I was all mothery), I proceeded to go through a birth story that literally made my (later found, not at the time) midwife cringe in horror. I hemorrhaged, even - so wound up in hospital for a bit. However, I never went through the post-partum cruds that so many seem to. I was fine, baby was healthy, and after a while we did just great. Well, except that he ate more than a cow could produce, but we did ok after he got on food at 3 months laugh. I tried to go back on the pill at that time. I was on Ortho Novum 7/7/7. I took it for a few months and eventually just kinda stopped. It was hard to see if there was an effect on me, things were going by so fast.

Ok, now to the present:

I had Morgan 7 months ago. I DID go through baby blues with him, but they seemed to go away after a bit, at least a little. We suspect I may be going through postpartum depression or something… my doctor said maybe it’s related to thyroid problems some women experience after childbirth - but I have a SEVERE phobia of having my skin broken, which means we can’t just do the (NEEDLE!!!) test without real cause. I tried the pill again.

First we tried orthonovum. Ack. Then we tried Lil…lili… lilo? I don’t remember, it started with an L and came in a yellow box with stickers you could choose for the days. I’m now trying … finds the box cause her memory is shotb Demulen.

Every single one has seemed to have a very strong psychological effect. They’re making me horribly depressed, or grouchy, just miserable. I don’t think it’s just standard depression, I’ve dealt with that before - that doesn’t go away withing a week of stopping the pills. This does. When I’m not on the pill, I can function. I’m still a bit weird, things aren’t perfect (part of the reason we suspect thyroid or post-partume), but I can get the boys to daycare every day, I can do my job well enough to get by. But somehow, when I’m on the pill… I can’t get up in the morning. I can’t function. I find myself pulling away from my friends, withdrawing into fantasies and being unable to handle the real world - even my children! I get frustrated and overwhelmed at the slightest things… it’s scaring me. When I was on that other one (the L one), I caught myself thinking suicidal thoughts. This doesn’t mean I’d do it (I know the diff between thought and action, been there), but the thoughts happened, and that scared me. We broke off that one right quick. On Demulin (first month, haven’t reached the second yet), I’m … grouchy. I’m grumpy, I’m overreacting to the slightest offense, I’m unable to handle the kids because I almost want to throw them across the room half the time. And I still withdraw into fantasy. And I still can’t function.

What can I do? I hate condoms. I really do. They’re annoying, they smell bad, and they either burn really badly (if they have spermicidal stuff) or they’re too gooey (I’m very wet very easy as is), or they are covered in weird powder shit which is annoying, or grease which stinks more. Not to mention they make my husband smaller (and we have had occasional difficulties with that - he’s 5.5 inches long and rather thin, and I’m very deep - I have to work to tighten myself around him. The muscles are strong and I can, but it gets annoying sometimes to have to - and condoms make this worse). It’s frustrating. And IUD’s and such scare me. That phobia again… I can’t have anything where it doesn’t belong, and metal and plastic do NOT belong left in THERE. I couldn’t do it. Having my tubes tied will NEVER be an option, it’s invasive - and having his tied isn’t an option yet, as we still want to have one more child at some point (though I’m pushing for adoption, as I don’t want to birth more than two for various reasons). I don’t know what else to do - I can’t do any sort of implant. But these pills …

God, the effect they’re having on my mind is destroying me. And I don’t even know why. Noone seems to - doctors don’t study these things for some reason!

Any advice? On any of it? Sorry if my posts seem disjointed lately, I’ve been a little out of my mind :frowning:

-Elthia

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I’m sorry to hear about the turmoil you are going through, Elthia. I know having young children isn’t easy, even if it is totally worth it. I hope things smooth out a little for you.

As for the BC thing, are diaphrams an option for you? I used one for a while, and they really aren’t very messy or inconvenient once you get used to them (my hubby once timed me…I could get it in in 15 seconds flat! Hee hee) They do have to be inside you, obviously, which might be a drawback for you, but they are only in there temporarily, not permanently like the IUDs.

If you absolutely cannot tolerate any artificial type of birth control, I would suggest looking into the Rythym Method. Yes, I’ve heard all the jokes, but if both partners are willing to make the effort (and it does take both partners…actually cited as a benefit by many people), then it can be at least as effective as condoms.

You should be able to get some good advice about it from your local Roman Catholic parish. Don’t be put off by the association, though, many non-RC couples choose this method of birth control for many reasons, and every RC-run class or clinic I’ve every heard of welcomed couples of all faiths.

Good luck, Elthia, I really hope everything works out for you.

3

It just want to suggest that you do get your thyroid checked. It can make a really big difference in your mood, your mental clarity and your and overall health.

Be up front about your fear of needles. I’m sure you and your doctor can work something out.

I also wanted to mention that I had a much bigger post-partum reaction with my second baby. I don’t know if that’s typical or not.

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Although I’ve never experienced anything as bad as what you describe, I have had problems with depression and the pill. A few years back I was on Ortho Novum 7/7/7, and had been for several years. I suddenly became aware that every month, slightly before my period, I was pretty depressed. Seeing as it was definitely on a cycle, I talked to my doctor about it.

She told me that both the pill and alcohol leach Vitamin B from your body. Seeing as I was 21 or so at the time, I was partying and drinking quite a bit. The doctor switched me to a lower strength pill (Modicon), I started taking Vitamin B supplements, and the depression vanished.

You may want to talk to your doctor about switching back to 7/7/7, if that was OK with you. Also, try the Vitamin B supplements - get a good multi-B vitamin, with B6 and B12. You can usually pick this up at the grocery store for pretty cheap.

You also may want to try St. John’s Wort. I’ve had some luck with that as an anti-depressent in the past. Note that I’ve never had what I’d call severe depression, but have gone through some tough times and all the stuff I’ve talked about here seemed to help.

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While I am about as far removed from being a doctor as you can get, it sounds to me like the hormone dosages in the pills you’ve tried are too high. I have had difficulties with pills having too-high dosages, and although my problems were far more physical that psychological, they were fairly severe. Switching to a brand with a lower hormone level overall made a tremendous difference; the one I’m on now (TriPhasil) is fairly low-dosage, and there are 3 levels in each cycle. It may be worth trying to specify to your doctor that you need less.

I am terribly sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered. Have you been able to get any counseling? It’s possible that it could help you cope with the mental aspects hormone fluctuation, as well as help you deal with your past. I know I am vastly over-simplifying things, but it might help.

Best wishes.

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I echo Lucretia, except that the rhythm method is sort of an outdated thing to call it. It’s generally called Natural Family Planning now and it’s pretty accurate. You take measurements of cervical mucas and temperature (I don’t practice it so I don’t know all the ins and outs – oops sorry that was bad!)
You do not have to be Catholic and you would be welcomed as a non-Catholic, rest assured. Here is the CCL web site for more information: Couple to Couple League

Oh, and I’ve always used a diaphragm and had good luck too. Don’t know if I can beat Lucretia’s 15 seconds, though!

Good luck and I hope things turn up for you. :slight_smile:

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Try Toni Weschler’s “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” - best book on natural family planning I’ve ever seen. Good for NOT getting preggers, as well as planning to.

Nothing is perfect, but charting gives you some idea what is really going on in there.

Also, I highly recommend you getting the thyroid function test, because if you are indeed low, it can lead to pretty psychotic symptoms, more than ‘just’ severe debilitating depression (like, hallucination, etc.). I understand the body invasion thing, I’ve encountered that with other women who were seriously abused (I definitely don’t recommend IUD for you - know too many who had psych problems with that). But your health if not your life is at risk, and the longer you stay depressed, the more likely your youngest will suffer long-term depression as a result. (that’s been fairly strongly concluded from studies)

You might be able to get some releif from the body invasion thing using one of the more popular anti-depressants (Paxil, say), seems 9at least in the cases I know personally) it is related to some of the anxiety disorders they use them for. Since they don’t affect your thyroid function, you could then get the thyroid test with less distress.

Good luck. NFP is your least invasive method, and the one recommended by all my traditionalist Catholic friends. But you still have to do basal body temp charting, and checking cervical mucus. A lot of work to do it right. (And go get that thyroid test, Please!)

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You mention you’re only on the first month of the newest prescription… while your reactions sound really severe, I can tell you that the first month I was on the pill (Alesse 28) I was a walking ball of moodswings. I essentially ticked through just about every side-effect. By month two, they were all gone.

I don’t want to just say “wait it out” when your symptoms are so major, but you may not have to give up on the pill entirely yet. I think Beadalin & Athena have good points about trying another dosage or going back to 7/7/7 if it worked for you. A lot of women experience icky side-effects the first few months, and you’re obviously getting hit harder than most, so the important thing is to keep in touch with your doctor and keep a record of those side-effects.

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Lucretia: Diaphrams are probably out, as I would be too stuck on that-thing-isn’t-where-it-oughta-be to enjoy myself properly. And I’m terrified of RCC’s. No offense, but I’ve been PREACHED down to way too often, I avoid houses of the Christian god whenever possible. Gives me the jitters :slight_smile:

Cher3: I’m going to the doctor tomorrow (Friday). I guess I will just have to have that needle. Doctor knows about the phobia and understands - he didn’t want to put me through it, which is why we haven’t done it already. Jeez, I’m afraid all my hair’s going to fall out at this rate, it’s been shedding everywhere. So we’re getting it checked :confused:

Athena: Vitamin B??? Part of me is highly skeptical that it could be that easy. Part of me looked at that and went ‘I never thought of that - oh please let it be that easy’. So … maybe I’ll try supplements before I decide to come off it completely. Where this one makes me grumpy rather than suicidal, perhaps it won’t be so bad to wait a few more weeks anyway.

Beadalin: The problem with lower dosage pills is that I bleed through if I’m so much as an hour late even on these (and they’re not high-dosage either, though not superlow). Also, I can’t do just one-hormone pills, that would defeat the purpose due to lesser effectiveness and bleedthrough. And yes, I did have years of counselling for the abuse, that’s not the issue here (I included it as an added thing to point out that I know the diff between depression and the blues). Counselling for this isn’t the greatest thing to spend money on until we’re sure there isn’t a physical cause. Once we eliminate physical things, then we can think about psychological ones. Thanks though :slight_smile:

Ellen: looked briefly at the site… seems an awful lot of effort to go through, I’d think. And being me, of course, I’m having trouble getting through the ‘tilt’ of religion (pope’s stuff on the front page no less). I dunno. And I’m not one for waiting for literally half the time so I can actually have sex with my husband - or whoever else I’m with, as we have a nonstandard relationship. Admittedly, with others I would use condoms for safety unless they were part of our family as much as we are, but… sigh part of the reason I liked the pill was because it kept me down to 28 days. That extra week gets annoying.

Thanks, guys - at least I have confirmation that I -have- to take that thyroid test now :slight_smile:

Gawd I hate needles :frowning:
shiver

-Elthia
seeing midwife tomorrow right after doctor too - she should be able to help also. I hope.

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Good luck, Elthia. My hair was falling out, too–that’s what prompted my visit to my doctor. (I also found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant, but that’s another story.)

Anyway, I just take a synthroid once a day now and everything is growing back just fine.

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One last thing on charting and natural family planning: the women I know who do it scoff at how “hard” it is. After you get used to it, it’s as easy as taking a peek at the toilet paper after you wipe. No kidding. That’s what they say.

Regarding the pope and all that: well, it’s up to you. I think you can get the same information out of a book – and it’s all based on phyisology, so you don’t have to pay attention to the spiritual component in the least.

That said, it sounds like it’s not for you, but … but…I just had to say it anyway~

best wishes!

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re: **ST. John’s Wort ** Do not take this and oral contraceptives. SJW screws up something with the pill and makes it not as good. I just read this somewhere and if I can find the reference, will post it back here.

As for natural family planning. I know two women who use is as their only form of birth control. Between them they have seven children. ( five kids and two kids) both are expecting again. Neither was planned.

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Okay, I’m a mom too so I have real understanding of the toll it takes on you physically and emotionally. What I want to tell you has to do with the needle thing. Ick, I know.
I’m epileptic. Been so for YEARS. One of the things I have to have pretty regularly is blood levels for my meds. Involves…needles. Ick again, I know.
Here is where I might be able to give you some comfort. You say you’re going to the dr. friday. GOOD. He’s there for you. Here is my suggestion: request a lab person to do any blood taking. I respect and love nurses–heck, my mother-in-law is one–but in my experience they don’t have the practice that lab people do. All the times I’ve been pricked and I still get edgy, but these folks do this all day. They know exactly how to do it, with as little trauma to you as possible. My husband is just like you with needles. I told him the same thing and he was amazed. It’s okay to be goosey about it. It’s not something most people do every day. But if you make it VERY clear that it’s a concern of yours and that you really want someone who can be painless and quick, they will help you. One lab tech told me once that they practice on each other…makes you cringe, I know, but they do it so they can cause you as little inconvenience as possible. I speak from vast amounts of experience with this and I would not EVER tell you this if I wasn’t pretty darn sure it would help.
You’ve got to get the best help for yourself you can. I’m pulling for you. Take someone with you to talk to, don’t look and remember that these professionals are there to help you and make you feel better. Take care.
struuter

14

Okay, I’m a mom too so I have real understanding of the toll it takes on you physically and emotionally. What I want to tell you has to do with the needle thing. Ick, I know.
I’m epileptic. Been so for YEARS. One of the things I have to have pretty regularly is blood levels for my meds. Involves…needles. Ick again, I know.
Here is where I might be able to give you some comfort. You say you’re going to the dr. friday. GOOD. He’s there for you. Here is my suggestion: request a lab person to do any blood taking. I respect and love nurses–heck, my mother-in-law is one–but in my experience they don’t have the practice that lab people do. All the times I’ve been pricked and I still get edgy, but these folks do this all day. They know exactly how to do it, with as little trauma to you as possible. My husband is just like you with needles. I told him the same thing and he was amazed. It’s okay to be goosey about it. It’s not something most people do every day. But if you make it VERY clear that it’s a concern of yours and that you really want someone who can be painless and quick, they will help you. One lab tech told me once that they practice on each other…makes you cringe, I know, but they do it so they can cause you as little inconvenience as possible. I speak from vast amounts of experience with this and I would not EVER tell you this if I wasn’t pretty darn sure it would help.
You’ve got to get the best help for yourself you can. I’m pulling for you. Take someone with you to talk to, don’t look and remember that these professionals are there to help you and make you feel better. Take care.
struuter

15

Another suggestion on the needles: I agree on getting a lab tech to do it, and ask them to use a butterfly needle. It’s the kind they use on kids, and it’s smaller. The drawback is, it’ll have to be in a little longer to get the blood needed.

Oh, and if you do get the lab tech, be honest that you’re scared. Because of my lupus, there was a period where I got blood tests every 8 weeks. And I have the smallest veins on the face of the planet. Working with the ab techs helped make it a little easier. Good luck, hon.

And like cher3, I have an underactive thyroid. Had it for…7 years. I just take a pill, and it’s fine. Best wishes on finding out what’s wrong. hugs

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http://abcnews.go.com/sections/living/DailyNews/stjohnswort000210.html

Try this sight, Gives basic info and links to the major draw backs of mixing ST. Johns Wort with Rx’s.

17

Well, Shirley, regarding your friends: any birth control method is only as reliable as the person practicing it. You forget to take your pills, guess what happens? Slip up and skip the diaphragm? It only takes one time.

Just because you know two people with unplanned pregnanies, don’t condemn the method. You have no idea if they had sex during the safe period or not. You’re assuming the safe period is difficult to calculate. It isn’t.

You’re also assuming they are not pleased. Some (many) who practice NFP WANT their babies to be unplanned. Assuming they practiced the method correctly, they knew they were taking a chance.

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There are many kinds of vaginal spermicides available. They come in many forms, like cream, jelly, suppositories, film or even the sponge. I am on Ortho Tri Cyclen now, and I have had no bad side effects, but before I used the pill, I used the suppositories. You can insert some of them an hour in advance, so there is no loss of spontaneity. I’m pretty sure the film is good for 24 hours. Go to the drug store and check them out. If you don’t like the first one, try another…there are a lot to choose from, and you’re bound to find one you like. Besides, the try outs can be fun :slight_smile:
Rose

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Elthia, are you two planning on having any more children? I read your original message and did not see anything there about the possibility of your husband having a vascectomy. Is this an option?

BTW I do wear an IUD, and mine is good for 10 years. After being on Ortho Novum for several years, then Ortho Novum 7/7/7/ for several more years, and then going to a surgically inserted five-year Norplant, the IUD is a nice change. For once I am not affected by external hormones. And while my cycle has shortened to a somewhat undesirable 27 days, the cramps get kind of intense and the flow is a bit heavier, I’m still happy with my choice.

You might want to read a nice series written at About.com about various contraceptive methods (click on “Contraception” on the left column).

I hope you are successful in finding a satisfactory method for yourselves!

20

Ellen, I understand where you are coming from, and yes, all birth control can fail if not used properly.

Women’s cycles can change and a couple of days early or later and BANG she’s pregnant again. Too bad there isn’t something a guy can take to render him sterile until they want another child again.