I must admit, so far you’ve been doing pretty well, what with trading for and re-signing Scott Rolen, and building a stellar defensive infield.
However, one small request:
Could we get some fucking starting pitching, maybe?
I heard who’s at spring training: Cal Eldred, Garrett “I Swear the Arm’s Healed” Stephenson, and DUSTIN F’ING HERMANSON! We got rid of him for a reason, dumbasses: He sucks like an industrial vacuum. Why couldn’t we get someone like Mike Hampton? Simple, because apparently, we have to hope that Woody and Matt can stay healthy, maybe Chuck Finley can get his shit straightened out, and wait for the inevitable Andy Benes unretirement.
And while you’re at it, could someone please locate Tino Martinez’s bat?
(Yes, I know that we were in the NLCS last year, but we need some help.)
Why would you want someone like Hampton? I think every baseball fan except in Philadelphia should be holding their team’s GM over a fire for not grabbing Millwood for a crappy catching prospect. :smack:
We got a raw deal with Roy Williams turning us down and royally screwing us in the process, then calling a press conference to gloat.
We panicked and hired Doherty, with one - ONE!!! - year of head coaching experience. Fine recruiter, but we run no semblance of an offense. Yes, blame the bad luck of the last few years (Guthridge recruited nobody who can seriously call himself an ACC player, save for Joseph Forte - and he was a major headcase).
Time to admit you made a mistake, Mr. Baddour. You staked your career on a green coach to run one of the top programs in the country. Time for us to admit we made a mistake when we looked only inside the “UNC family.”
At this point, with all these unacceptable losses to all our in-state rivals, I’m just comfortably numb.
