If you have a cat, then you could use it as a cat-blanket for that part of the bed where he/she sleeps.
Maybe its like the Stephen King short story? And every time you cut a pizza with it, one of the people who ordered pizza with you will keel-over dead?
The new party game: Pizza-Roulette!!!
(…collect that pizza money up-front though…)
You have ANOTHER one? God help us all! 
My brother is the one who insists that he wants to keep giving all of us siblings a gift even though the rest of us would be happy to just not give presents to the adults in the family, because seriously? But no, for him Christmas is about the joy of giving and it just wouldn’t be the same, etc.
In the past he has bought us a random selection of DVDs from the clearance rack at the video store he worked at. However, the video store went out of business, so this year he had to get creative. We got a box of ten Cheryl’s Cookies - which is actually not a terrible gift on the face of it. Cheryl’s Cookies is a high-end cookie brand, where each cookie is individually packaged and you can mail order them as gifts for people, etc., etc. Except, the cookies are all weirdly themed, like, there’s a birthday one in there, there’s a wedding celebration one, and so forth. I think we got the clearance rack cookies.
I’m really not complaining too much, because this is a big improvement over DVDs of The Hangover and Dumb and Dumber, but… grabbing random shit off of clearance shelves is what constitutes the true meaning of Christmas for him? OK, whatever, bro.
I got him a gift card to the gas station, because he needs it.
Googling, I find that they also make fez, fedora, police hat, fireman hat, baseball cap and cowboy hat cheeseheads. You may have gotten off easy, and apparently she thinks you’re a classy guy.
But not this classy:
http://www.wisconsincheese.com/images/crown.jpg
I… am avoiding contact with my parents to avoid the terrible Christmas gifts. They were sick with flu on Christmas, and when they called New Year’s Eve wanting to exchange presents on New Year’s Day, I’d gotten sick by then. So of course I got badgered, attempted emotional manipulation, called a terrible son. Next day mom yelled at me that I was “always angry” when she was pressuring me again.
And they give really, really bad gifts. Because not only do they completely ignore everything I tell them I’d like, it’s like they actively go out of their way to get me stuff I’ll hate, because I “should” like it.
Since the inevitable gift-opening will bring both disappointment and passive-aggressiveness, I’m hoping to avoid it 'till maybe April, when I’ll have to focus on avoiding getting b-day presents.
Bah, humbug.
Was a mostly good year.
My mother finally stopped giving me black licorice which I told her for years and years that I don’t like and ended up throwing away because I couldn’t GIVE it away.
For years she gave me corduroy pants until I finally threw a fit in front of everyone about 5-6 years ago and refused to take them home. That stopped that.
She still gives me that dollar store crap that also gets thrown away immediately, and I have spent years trying to tell her to stop. Only one thing this year, thank god.
Gave me this rusty ‘rustic’ manger thing. Told me to take it to work, put it on my desk and “Make a STATEMENT” (She watches too much Fox news and buys the Oppressed Christians bullshit.) It is still in the bag on the back seat of my car. No idea what to do with it yet.
He was probably lured in by those good-looking salesgirls that they hire. I’ve heard that they talk men into buying their crap with an aggressively seductive sales pitch, which includes rubbing lotion on the prospective buyer’s hands.
It puts the lotion on his skin or else it gets the kiosk again.
Cross-posting from mini-rants (because I didn’t see this thread last night:
Why do people insist on giving clothes for Christmas? They obviously have no idea of my preferences or sizes.
I received the following (note that I nowhere indicated that I wanted any of these):
Maybe** FairyChatMom **should send out emails saying she’s sold all of her 1 oz. gold bars, just in case the trend continues.
It’s cold. Where’s my damn hat?
Shut up.
You know what would help with that? Extra head fat. Works for me.
um yeah work gave us 50/50poly cotton shirt with the company logo on it. in beige. I hate beige and I hate polyester and I cant give it away because who else would want it? It was apparently a twelfth night present cause we just got them today. 
Company shirts are for working on the car.
I got a good haul this year, but can I whine about logistics?
My mum emails both me and my fiancée in early December to ask for gift ideas for each other, which works really well until we get emails in late December saying, “I couldn’t find what you wanted, can you order them and I’ll pay you back?” This is after most online Christmas delivery deadlines so we have to make a special trip out to buy each other’s gifts. (Turned out to be a blessing in disguise as my fiancée was able to try on the hat she’d picked out and found out that it wasn’t as good as another one we found.)
Amazon UK don’t allow you to buy eBooks for other people. After faffing about for ages on Christmas Eve, my fiancée bought it on my account, then took my Kindle from me and wrapped it up to put under the tree. Why do you make it hard to buy people things, Amazon UK?
We’ve been waiting on a package for two weeks. It got delivered to our neighbour who thought it was for the business we live above. They then sat on the package when they could easily have dropped it into us, and now they’ve been closed for three days. Looks like the extra payment for speedy delivery was wasted.
Overall, though, Christmas was great. Sorry to the rest of you, but I’m glad to see none of the presents I gave showing up here. I did cause an allergic reaction in a coworker by bringing in cashews, as I thought that people would want a break from all of the communal chocolates going around
We did a “one gift only” Christmas exchange with my family. They came over here to our vegan household in part so that they could have meat at their house without offending us. They gave me socks.
Wool socks.
Socks? As in TWO socks? Meaning more than ONE? When they had specifically agreed on ONE gift?
The nerve.
I believe it was more the “animal product for a vegan household” thing. Though to be fair, even after decades of intimate exposure to vegans, an objection to wool wouldn’t have crossed my mind. It’s not like the sheep are killed for it, and the shearing does make them feel better, so I probably would have made the same mistake.
Best find a sheep to go put that wool back on it.
Ohhh. I was thinking more, ugh, itchy socks! Who wants itchy socks!?