So I told her I was sorry if I weirded her out the other day (see part about me being a fucking idiot.) She told me it’s okay, and that she wouldn’t treat me any different. Later, being that her birthday is Friday, I tried to buy her lunch as a gift. I knew she’d decline the money (she had always been that way about gifts from anyone.) She was totally flattered though and actually hugged me (something that she definitely does NOT do often to anyone.)
I really like ellipses today, don’t I?
Anyways… I don’t know why or how, but that really kind of put me into an okay place, now. I think I’m making peace with where I am at. I’m super proud of how I’ve handled myself with this overall, and feel I’ve really grown. I almost feel human again, for once. I am zen, baby.
Let the future hand me what it will, for right now I am content.
Well done. Now chill out. Don’t bring any of this up in any way. Be friendly but ever so slightly distant. Don’t hang around her more than work circumstances require. Keep personal comments to an absolute minimum. No more offers to pay for lunch or attempts at thoughtful gifts or cards on valentines day.
If in time she begins to show interest, great. If not, then it’s not because you’ve continued to make things weird; she’s just not interested.
Yes, it was necessary. She already turned him down. One day later, he’s wanting to pay for her lunch. Next thing you know, it’s flowers. Next thing you know, jail.
This kind of heady stuff can get out of hand so easily. And, read the OP again. This guy can’t really handle a lot of emotion, esp. with this babe.
Someone recently said something similar to me. At first I was a bit annoyed to be burdened with it, but my very wise SO scolded me for it. He made clear to me how terrifying it is when you have those feelings and you are saying them out loud to that person. He made me realise how it is for everyone to take that chance at happiness with someone. If you don’t, you’re left wondering forever. My SO is pretty amazing that way
So well done. If nothing else, you now know you are a guy who can do stuff like this. You say it, you take your chances, you survive.
Unfortunately, as I figured, nothing ever came of it.
She’s been more friendly towards me, but she’s never shown any interest beyond that friendliness. I’m okay with that. I was pretty down for a while when the reality sunk in that she wasn’t going to have a change of heart. After all, having what-ifs going through your head for years being replaced with never-gonna-happens all of a sudden takes some processing.
That said, I’ve come to a good place. I of course appreciate the extra bit of attention I’ve received. I’m also being less of an introvert and discovering that maybe I’m not that big a loser after all.
Most importantly, I still don’t regret doing what I did. I still see many positives and truly think it’s changed me for the better. I just hope I can keep that going!
Good job, sir - I firmly believe that it’s never a bad thing to tell someone that he or she is special to you. Any aftermath might not go the way you’d want, obviously, but you can’t go wrong telling someone that you care about them. Even if it is terrifying.
Something similar happened to me ten years ago, although neither I nor the hot little Filipino gal were married to anybody. Eventually she broke up with her longtime boyfriend though, and I eventually decided to make the move, which I did over lunch. When I asked her out she simply said “I can’t.” Funny thing, on my way back home, I wasn’t angry or upset. In fact I felt relieved because NOW I could STOP wondering if I had a shot at her and move on with my life. Eventually things turned out MUCH BETTER for me than I ever could have imagined with another woman who eventually became my beautiful and beloved wife…but that’s another story.
Think I’ll stay here, though.