Hey everyone, I just reached my 1000th post!
“My mind reels with sarcastic replies!” - Snoopy
Well, this is as good a place as any to finally post a picture of me:
http://www.motorcycle.com/mo/mcphotos/sturgis/babe10.jpg
Hi, I am a blonde bimbo with huge knockers (fake, of course). I am extremely popular, and only date football players with huge dicks. Guys practically fall over themselves trying to ask me out, despite the fact that I am only 5 feet one inch tall. Fortunately, I’m not very bright, and even if I was, I’d try to hide it as best I could so as not to intimidate anyone. I don’t have any political views cuz all that stuff is just too complicated and what does it have to do with me, anyway? Oh, except for homosexuality. I think lesbians are icky. I could never do that! Well, gotta go. I’m gonna ditch class, get wasted, and cheat on my boyfriend.
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
You know, I’m having some serious problems with this thread - like, every time I read it, IT BURNS!
Esprix
No one is a putz.
Bizarro divemaster:
Gore-loving leftist member of the Sierra Club. Card-carrying member of the ACLU. Avid reader of Mother Jones.
Fan of the Washington Redskins. Finds soccer to be the most exciting thing going. Can’t wait to grow my hair long and shaggy, pick up a Mountain Dew and head for the X-games with a skateboard on my shoulder and a joint behind my ear.
Bizarro Chef Troy is a short, thin woman who isn’t attracted to either sex, hates to cook, is a dull conversationalist but at least isn’t arrogant, and no one on the board is wildly attracted to her.
And she regularly kicks the stuffing out of Satan at Scrabble™.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Esprix,
Better to read and it burns than when you pee it burns. Otherwise it’s time for the “free clinic”.
Here’s Bizarro Uke, driving his big shiny Ford Explorer with the BUSH FOR PRESIDENT bumper sticker (he spent all last weekend lovingly polishing his SUV, when he wasn’t enthusiastically viewing sporting events on the television set) to the shopping mall, enjoying the mellow southern California sunshine and the smooth rhythmic stylings of the Gypsy Kings on the CD player.
He’s chatting on his cellular phone, getting ready for a scrumptious fast-food meal and a swing by the video shop to see what the latest New Releases are. Maybe pick up a comfy new sweat-suit to go running in. Maybe buy a new gun. Or the latest John Grisham novel.
Suddenly, he swerves to avoid crushing a small dog.
YHVH! Using the tetragrammaton for your name? What the holy hell is wrong with you. I am gonna tell God that you are impersonating him, and he is gonna be pissed!
Where’s my side of FUN!?
Kisses!
Ophy
I’m going to move this thread to GQ.
Change Your Password, Please and don’t use HTML, as it has been disabled, but you can learn about superscripts here
I have absolutely nothing to contribute to this thread.
Marijuanna is evil! Possession of pot should be a felony punishable by five years in the pen. And don’t even get me started about the people growing it in my…er, I mean, their closets.
Time to get off the board and study.
Bizarro Cristi is tall, slender, single, no kids, wealthy, and highly intelligent. I answer questions correctly in GQ, flame like a big dog in the Pit, and present thoughtful, well-spoken arguments in GD that actually make people change their minds about stuff. Bizarro Cristi never read Guy Stuff, and read every word of Flat Earth.
This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here.
cher3, wow! Is that really you? Woohoo! (extends tongue and waves it around in circle eights) Nothing like a bikinied babe wearing boots, stretched out on a Harley!
Come here, hot stuff, and get some of big daddy’s lovin’! I know you’ve been wanting some! And bring some friends, there’s plenty to go around for all you girls!
(disclaimer: that was the bizarro Arnold Winkelried. The real Arnold Winkelried is intellectual, thin and reserved, yet irresistible once he removes his glasses.)
I make lots of posts to “Important Stuff I Must Share”. I am a tall American Religeous Conservative (My gosh, I’m Pat Buchanan.
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
Much like a photon, I am my own anti-poster.
Well, not really, but it would be neat. Let’s see, Anti-me would probably go around calling himself the Big Bad Booty Daddy.
Nah, Arnold. The only furry footwear in my house is a pair of Piglet slippers, size 2.