Blalock and Alba

I hate them. I hate them. Actually I love them, but I hate them too!

How is it possible to be so bodacious yet infinitely pert at the same time?

I even like the collagen lips.

Yes. You are both incredibly attractive.

But you are not tough. Why are you playing physically tough characters?

You have no muscle mass at all.

Eat a fucking sandwich, go lift some weights, and then we’ll talk.

I know television is an illusion, but these are not tough or athletic people. Neither knows how to handle a gun either. I’ll be the only thing they ever shot was a sultry look across a crowded barroom.

I mean why not let the Webster kid play the role of Muhammed Ali?

well, I suppose that would be funny, in a wrong-&-sick sort of way…

as far as Alba goes, I think she plays her role quite well… as for muscle mass… is it really necessary if her character is supposed to be a genetically engineered super-soldier? Could not her increased strength be from altered anatomy instead of sheer muscle? Food for thought.

Webster… man, until now, I had forgotten about that show… damn you!

Mookie Blalock? The baseball player? He’s got collagen implants?

basketball, dude (see Golden State Warriors)… it helps with his free throws.

I’m willing to forgive Jessica Alba a whole lot just because she is so completely, slobberingly yummy. In fact, I would probably watch the show if it was just her standing there, hands on hips, eyebrows raised and saying “What’s your dealio?” to the camera.

Mmmm…Jessica Alba…drool

(Although I liked the old hai a lot better…)

As for Blalock…does he actually have any pretensions of being “tough”? His character just a rich boy with too much time on his hands. And now he’s crippled anyway.
But in spite of that, he must die. He’s marrying Jessica, thereby reducing my already miniscule chances of ever having her tongue in my mouth!

Damn him to hell!!!

oops! make that “the old hair”

If you really, really need tongue in your mouth, there a deli down the street that has an excellent beef tongue sandwich…

jessica alba makes me cry shes so beautiful. oh, why did god have to make me short, fat, bald, and irascible?

actually, since this is the pit, i can post what i would say in real life.

jessica alba is so beautiful i’d eat the corn out of her shit.

you have issues. please seek help. (and this comment coming from me of all people…)

I mean Jolene Blalock. The babe that plays the vulcan on the new Star Trek.

http://www.leh.net/~jolene/images.htm

My bad. I conflated Marv Blaylock & Mookie Wilson.

oooooohhh, jolene blaylock! by gods green fuck she’s uber hot!

not as hot as ms alba tho.

No, it’s still Mookie Blaylock. Does he really play for Golden State now? Jeez, I’m behind…the last I remember was Atlanta.

Oh. For some reason, I just assumed you were talking about Alba’s costar, whose name I (obviously) don’t know.

Guess I should learn the man’s name BEFORE I arrange to have him assassinated. Heh heh.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MFS *
**

Well, there are a lot of drawbacks to going with the waif look when you’re lookiing to create a supersoldier, and as far as I can tell, the only positive is looking good in a bikini

How? As they say in auto-racing, there’s no replacement for displacement. Say you wanna make somebody super strong. It’s an engineering problem. Supposing you could reformulate muscle and tendon to make it more efficiently strong than it is now, you still need to anchor that muscle and tendon to bone. To support the added strength, you need a thicker stronger bigger skeleton. No matter what your orginal design in this area, if you’re trying to create a supersoldier, you’re going to want to hang an awful lot of muscle and tendon on that skeleton.

Where is it?

Not only does she have baby fat, she has far less muscle than even a moderately athletic woman.

Now, we hang those huge globular breasts on that tiny frame. How do those help?

I can guarrantee they hinder her.

The first thing you’d want to do if you were designing a female supersoldier is make sure she had smallish breasts. Unless you’re nursing (and how many supersoldiers need to nurse their kids?) they don’t do anything helpful for a soldier.

She’s very thin, but she still has that subcutaneous layer of baby fat that’s such a fashionable combination. How does that help?

Where are her callouses? Where are her scars?

Not only that, but she doesn’t even move like an athlete.

She’s a twig.

but she drives me mad, i tell you, MAD!

But she is athletic, Scylla. She rides a motorcycle and jumps from building to building and strikes poses atop a model of the Space Needle. Her stun double doesn’t do all that stuff; the girl’s toned her own self.

And chimpanzees are monstrously strong despite having rather gracile limbs. We know Max has cat genes; maybe she has chimpanzee genes as well.

And strength isn’t as important as speed, agility and endurance in a soldier. There’s no reason Max can’t have all those and still look the way she does.

Mm. Pardon me while I think about her looking like she does.

Okay, I’m back. If I thought it would improve my chances with Jessica Alba, I’d eat the corn out of essvee’s shit.

As for Jolene, she does nothing for me, and she has a hideous, puckering navel.

Chimpanzee limbs are much longer proportionally than human limbs which gives for added moment arm, and lots more space to distribute muscle. There is lots of muscle there, it just looks thin proportionally because of the added length. The bones are also very thick.

If you’ve ever seen a cat, you’ll notice that even though they can be lean and graceful, they do have a lot of muscle. If you’ve ever seen one of those hairless cats move around, you can watch the play of muscles under the skin. Alba has no muscle. She looks like she’s made out of silly putty.

Show me a long distance runner with breasts like Alba’s and I’ll think about accepting a claim for endurance, and speed does recquire muscle, too. Speed type muscle usually occurs at the base of tendons.

She should have huge forearms with tendons standing out if she’s doing all that swinging and climbing.

Let’s face it. She’s skinny, she’s cute. But the idea of her as tough character is a ridiculous vanity.

One of these days I’d like to see them put fashion aside. Alba should look athletic and competant. She doesn’t.

It’s a joke.