Blast the (Canadian) Government! (rant)

[Cartman voice] I … am … so … pissed … off … right … now…
[/Cartman voice]

Okay everyone I apologize for the length and pointlessness of this rant but I have to get it off my chest. Since February, my husband and I have been involved in the most bungling, ass-munching retardedness (is that a word?) that I have ever unfortuante enough to witness and it is REALLY beginning to wreck our lives.

Early this year my husband and I, who have owned and managed a home-based computer business for 3 years, decided we’d had enough of this lifestyle and wanted to go back to a more stable one - steady paycheck enabling us to someday have the house and kids, etc. In order to do this, my husband decided he would need to get his Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer certification (although he’s very skilled and has worked with computers for almost 10 years, he has little paperwork, and thought this would improve his chances of finding a good job). The best (and least expensive) way to do this is for him to buy the necessary textbooks and training equipment and then study at home full-time for about 6 weeks, then take an exam. There are a total of 7 exams so this process would take about 10 months.

Although the books and training supplies are fairly inexpensive and we are able to purchase them ourselves, we are not able to support ourselves for 10 months with no income (the business we own pays us very little, only enough to live on and nothing left over to save - part of the reason we are ready to part with it). Enter the Government, specifically the Human Resource Development Branch, whose mission includes helping Canadians train to find better jobs and lower the unemployment rate in BC (whose economy is in pretty serious trouble lately). So we decide to apply for living-expense funding from this helpful office.

In February my husband began meeting with Career Link, the office who screens candidates and helps them prepare their funding applications. Apparently there is so much unemployment in our town that if the candidates were not screened by this other office, the Human Resources office would be completely swamped. Hmm, not a good sign. The Career Link meeting phase took from February to May, with several key events taking place:

  1. They asked Matthew questions. He answered them. They wrote them down.
  2. Repeat for several weeks.
  3. They urge him to put together a 30page document of all the information he needs to apply for funding. He does. They lose it. He does it again. They finally approve him to talk to HRD.

In May, Matthew was approved to visit the all-powerful Gods at HRD to finally find out if he could have some damn money. (To put this in perspective, we are asking for less than $20,000.) Here’s how that’s going:

May 12 Mathew drops off his paperwork package and is told they will call him for an interview, at which point he will get an answer.
May 17 Matthew has his interview and is told he will get an answer by the end of the week.
May 23 Matthew calls and is told he will have an answer by the end of the week.
May 26 Matthew calls and the woman in charge of his file has taken 3 days off.
June 5 (today) Matthew calls and is told he will have an answer by tomorrow because this woman has to catch up on her three days of paperwork.

Meanwhile, Matthew has slowed down the business in preparation for closing, so our teeny-tiny paycheck has dwindled non-existent. We’ve had no income for 6 weeks and it shows. We barely made rent this month, have very few groceries in the house, and have NO money whatsoever to buy those little important things such as toilet paper, toothpaste, etc. We are living hand to mouth day by day and it SUCKS. Meanwhile I have this very intelligent, very qualified husband who simply cannot get a yes or no answer from these idiots!

Actually to tell the truth they have already told him that he as an individual is totally eligible for funding, but the “study-at-home” philosophy doesn’t fit into their molds. They would like him to move to a city where the courses are offered at a certified insititution (which would cost 3 times as much of THEIR money).

So what I don’t grasp here is why it takes FOUR months to get a simple answer! If it were me I would be showing up at that office 9 am tomorrow and not leaving till I got a fucking answer. This is really pissing me off!! If I hear one more time “we’ll have an answer by ________” someone’s going to lose an eye. I can’t even imagine the wages (paid by you and I, Canadians) that have gone into paying all these people for FOUR MONTHS worth of NOT making a decision. Boggles the mind.

Sorry again for the LONG rant but like I said I needed to get it off my chest! AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

If Canadia really has a government, what’s the queen for?

The queen is there to look royal and cut ribbons. I don’t like her very much. The governor general’s job is to give out the governor general’s award, make speeches, and travel across the country. I disapprove of the position, even though I like the person occupying it, and her husband.

Well, they did bomb the Baldwins…

I hear your pain,
…on the other hand…

If I said to you, I have the $20,000 you need, and I’m going to give it to you, for free, for your objective, only drawback is I might want to jerk you around for 4 months before I give it to you. Would you have said, yeah or nay? Worth it or not, $20,000 free money, in exchange for four months of being jerked around.

I realize that isn’t what you were offered and it might, indeed, have been an improvement having that info up front. And there is no guarantee that it won’t turn into more months of being jerked around.

I’ve traveled in India and Canada is getting more like Indian Bureaucracy every damn day!

I am scared.

Brunetter, don’t apologize.

You are feeling what millions have felt for quite some time. The bureaucracy of Government drives many people insane.

I had dealings with our (US) INS, and the incredible stupidity of their procedures was out-done only by the intolerable rudeness and condescension of the employees.

The money you and other Canadian citizens have paid in to your Government would have been better spent on a savings account, which could serve you and your husband at a time when you need it, not when some F***ING government stooge decides it’s a good time.

Best of luck, apply for H1B in the US if you are interested, we need your husband here, MCSE or not.

Sili