Body Signals and the Fall of Radical Islam

[running_coach]

@silenus

Fine, fine. You witnessed. What you witnessed is a complete mystery that nobody much cares about or wants to know.

Actually, I want to know.

Did he read something that inspired this or did he start from scratch?

[Ravenman]

Does God sometimes send insects to do his bidding? Like, should I take note of what I’m thinking when a mosquito bites me, and on what part of my body it happened?

[Snark_Hunter]

@running_coach

Actually, I want to know.

Did he read something that inspired this or did he start from scratch?

It didn’t occur to me all at once; rather, it was revealed piecemeal (if you want to call it revelation). I can remember sitting in a movie theater enjoying a movie, and I noticed that my left hand’s two little fingers had gone numb. I wondered if that meant something, then dismissed the thought. That was the earliest signal I can recall specifically noticing.

It went on from there, watching each signal, correlating my thoughts with their occurrence, asking God what they meant. I still don’t know what every little minor itch means, but I’ve mapped out the major ones. Of course, the signals are not meant to replace direct communication with God.

[Snark_Hunter]

@Ravenman

Does God sometimes send insects to do his bidding?

Oh yes.

Like, should I take note of what I’m thinking when a mosquito bites me, and on what part of my body it happened?

I do.

[Hiker]

@Snark_Hunter

This is also the place for religious witnessing. Who said I wanted a debate?

It’s kinda in the forum’s title. I would recommend you to go to IMHO, but I guess a *humble *opinion is not your thing either. So go right ahead, knock yourself out.

[Ravenman]

How about other kinds of physical damage? Like, that Malala girl from Pakistan was shot on the right side of her head by the Taliban. Should she consider the location of the wound significant? If so, what do you think it means?

[Bryan_Ekers]

I thought the Middle East was in chaos because their auras were misaligned.

[Snark_Hunter]

@Ravenman

How about other kinds of physical damage? Like, that Malala girl from Pakistan was shot on the right side of her head by the Taliban. Should she consider the location of the wound significant? If so, what do you think it means?

I doubt it.

[cmyk]

@Ravenman

Does God sometimes send insects to do his bidding? Like, should I take note of what I’m thinking when a mosquito bites me, and on what part of my body it happened?

I wonder how that works. Like, is the mosquito thinking, “mmmm… That’s some delicious man-blood down there. I wonder if I should bite him?” right wing twitches “Thanks, God!”

@Bryan_Ekers

I thought the Middle East was in chaos because their auras were misaligned.

Let’s not talk crazy talk here.

[IDtenT_Error]

@Bryan_Ekers

I thought the Middle East was in chaos because their auras were misaligned.

Chakras. That’s why they’re pissed at the Hindus.

[KarlGauss]

@Snark_Hunter

I can remember sitting in a movie theater enjoying a movie, and I noticed that my left hand’s two little fingers had gone numb. I wondered if that meant something, …

Yup. It meant that you were leaning on your elbow and had put pressure on your ulnar nerve.

[Ignotus]

Well, as you have access to this divine moral compass, what about using it to reveal some of God’s will which isn’t evident from scripture?

Like, is it OK to produce meat by farming animals in food-factories?

Should we minimize global warming by building more nuclear power plants?

Is consensual euthanasia of a human being all right?

[Snark_Hunter]

@Ignotus

Well, as you have access to this divine moral compass, what about using it to reveal some of God’s will which isn’t evident from scripture?

Like, is it OK to produce meat by farming animals in food-factories?

Should we minimize global warming by building more nuclear power plants?

Is consensual euthanasia of a human being all right?

Sorry, I’m no prophet. You and the rest of mankind are entitled to personal revelation as well, though, and everyone has their own opinions. Use your own mind and ask God in prayer for answers. Read James 1:5 in the Bible.

[Mangetout]

@Snark_Hunter

First of all, let me explain what I mean when I refer to the Theory of Body Signals. It isn’t a scientific theory, but rather a spiritual one. I’ve been observing and analyzing the body signals for decades now, and I like to think I understand what they signify and their potential to change human behavior.

The theory goes like this: God is able to communicate with all mankind not only through personal revelation, prophets and the scriptures, but also physically through certain “signals” which manifest as itches, muscular twitches, cramps and pains. These signals are not God’s primary means of communicating with us, His children, but are rather supplementary in nature. He doesn’t expect us to watch every little itch or twitch and try to decode them, but they are helpful in letting us know His will in general and work out our problems.

Here, then, are what I consider to be the most important body signals:

Left side of the body symbolizes evil
Right side of the body symbolizes good
Legs symbolize thoughts
Arms and shoulder blades symbolize actions
Left ear symbolizes God’s justice
Right ear symbolizes God’s mercy
Cheeks mean God didn’t say that
Nose means choose

For example, if I think an evil thought, my left leg may itch or twitch. If I believe something God didn’t say, one of my cheeks may itch when I reference that belief in my thoughts. If I am kind to others, my right ear may itch or pulse. And so on.

…To be continued…

How can we test this idea? What piece of evidence, if it arose, would prove it wrong?

[Snark_Hunter]

@Mangetout

How can we test this idea? What piece of evidence, if it arose, would prove it wrong?

I’m not smart enough to answer those questions, especially since the following factors have the potential to mess with or obscure the meaning of each signal:

1. We may not fully understand the logic behind the concepts involved, such as God’s systems of Justice and Mercy;

2. We may not be approaching the testing process with an open mind, or with real intent and faith;

3. Bias, false traditions and pride;

4. We may be asking the wrong types of questions;

5. God declines to answer due to some factor(s), such as spiritual immaturity on our part;

6. The devil works hard to blind us if he can;

7. Hi Opal;

…and a whole host of other factors. That’s why it took me so long to figure out the signals, even with God’s help.

Bottom line is, a testimony of the gospel is best acquired by following the instructions given in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:3-5, rather than trial and error with the body signals.

[Mangetout]

@Snark_Hunter

I’m not smart enough to answer those questions, especially since the following factors have the potential to mess with or obscure the meaning of each signal:

1. We may not fully understand the logic behind the concepts involved, such as God’s systems of Justice and Mercy;

2. We may not be approaching the testing process with an open mind, or with real intent and faith;

3. Bias, false traditions and pride;

4. We may be asking the wrong types of questions;

5. God declines to answer due to some factor(s), such as spiritual immaturity on our part;

6. The devil works hard to blind us if he can;

7. Hi Opal;

…and a whole host of other factors. That’s why it took me so long to figure out the signals, even with God’s help.

Bottom line is, a testimony of the gospel is best acquired by following the instructions given in the Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:3-5, rather than trial and error with the body signals.

That’s not what I asked.

You have provided a list of excuses that one can employ whilst attempting your method, in order to remain convinced that it has merit.

What would be much more wothwhile is a statement to the effect: “if this is correct, the following things should never happen…”

[Snark_Hunter]

@Mangetout

That’s not what I asked.

You have provided a list of excuses that one can employ whilst attempting your method, in order to remain convinced that it has merit.

What would be much more wothwhile is a statement to the effect: “if this is correct, the following things should never happen…”

All right. Try to think of some action that is totally, unequivocally always evil. For example, murdering an innocent child in cold blood and justifying it because you believe that Allah approved it as acceptable jihad behavior. If this is always an evil action, the following thing should never happen: Allah makes your right shoulder blade pulse vigorously, repeatedly. Instead, He should do the pulse on your left shoulder blade, right? And I don’t care how much of a hardcore jihadist you are–deep down you know it’s wrong.

However, let’s say you dare to challenge Allah when He confronts you about the atrocity you’ve committed. You tell Him in your heart that, after all, He was the one who instituted jihad to begin with, and is He not all-Wise, Most-Merciful, and All-Powerful?

Something happens then, perhaps: you get the right shoulder blade pulse. You are relieved somewhat and feeling vindicated, because that guy on the Internet said that your right shoulder means a good action approved by Allah.

What?

Do you suppose you are immune from Allah’s Justice? He didn’t approve of your cold-blooded murder–He merely acknowledged your lip service. You are not excused from the consequences of your actions. Sooner or later, Justice will catch up to you.

So you see, interpreting the body signals isn’t always cut-and-dried, even when atrocities are involved. Men can be deceived, God can be almost sarcastic, etc.

For this reason, I’d caution people to be very careful interpreting these signals. Even false conclusions can be drawn if you’re not cautious. Use common sense.

[Ravenman]

To be frank, common sense tells me that none of this “God speaks through tickling” theory is true at all. Not in the slightest.

[Slow_Moving_Vehicle]

@running_coach

Actually, I want to know.

Did he read something that inspired this or did he start from scratch?

::golf clap::

[Mangetout]

@Snark_Hunter

All right. Try to think of some action that is totally, unequivocally always evil. For example, murdering an innocent child in cold blood and justifying it because you believe that Allah approved it as acceptable jihad behavior. If this is always an evil action, the following thing should never happen: Allah makes your right shoulder blade pulse vigorously, repeatedly. Instead, He should do the pulse on your left shoulder blade, right? And I don’t care how much of a hardcore jihadist you are–deep down you know it’s wrong.

However, let’s say you dare to challenge Allah when He confronts you about the atrocity you’ve committed. You tell Him in your heart that, after all, He was the one who instituted jihad to begin with, and is He not all-Wise, Most-Merciful, and All-Powerful?

Something happens then, perhaps: you get the right shoulder blade pulse. You are relieved somewhat and feeling vindicated, because that guy on the Internet said that your right shoulder means a good action approved by Allah.

What?
7
Do you suppose you are immune from Allah’s Justice? He didn’t approve of your cold-blooded murder–He merely acknowledged your lip service. You are not excused from the consequences of your actions. Sooner or later, Justice will catch up to you.

So you see, interpreting the body signals isn’t always cut-and-dried, even when atrocities are involved. Men can be deceived, God can be almost sarcastic, etc.

For this reason, I’d caution people to be very careful interpreting these signals. Even false conclusions can be drawn if you’re not cautious. Use common sense.

I sat and thought really hard about some bad things I could do, then I thought really hard about some good things. Neither of my shoulder blades experienced any pulsing.

Now what?