Here’s the problem though…
Every time I plant a seed, he says kill it before it grows.
What should I do?
Is it just me, or is anyone else hearing the voice of HAL 9000 when you read Snark Hunter’s comments?
Dave: Tell me where you got this crazy idea about itching.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Dave: What’s the problem with God just talking directly to you?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave: I don’t know what you’re talking about, HAL.
Snark: Your story isn’t adding up. If you really did tell your bishop all of this–and I mean all of it–then his response would’ve been far different than what you said it was. You’d be getting disfellowshipped or excommunicated.
Wouldn’t that be rather difficult when you’re laughing so hard you can’t breathe?
Wait, so it’s all based on my lucky mood testicles?
Arbitrary god you’ve got there.
What happens if I massage them both gently and evenly?
In public or in private?
Yes, Monty, I did tell him ALL OF IT (and I don’t know why you’re so offended that all truth hasn’t yet been revealed and God can speak to us in unexpected ways). He said he had never heard of the body signals, and when I asked him if I could write a book about them, without hesitation with an emphatic voice he said, “Yes!”
No excommunication or disfellowshipment was forthcoming.
You asked him the wrong question.
What you should have asked him was, ‘If I write about about it, is there a chance in hell that anyone will take it seriously?’
Time will tell … 
Or your left elbow.
Allow me to save you some time… :rolleyes:
Wouldn’t that be left wrist?
Splitter!
Depends on what part of the country you grew up in.
Snark Hunter, that’s an interesting theory. Please help me out with an interpretation.
In 2009 I developed a patch of eczema on my right palm. It itches something fierce. Steroid creams are no help. I have to apply urea lotion daily, else the skin will crack and bleed. I jokingly call it my stigmata, although until reading this thread I had never considered that it might actually have some deeper religious/spiritual meaning.
At the same time the itching began, I was doing a lot of scripture study and soul-searching. I made some very difficult decisions. I was terrified that my new spiritual path would destroy my family, but ultimately it has brought us closer together. There were nice financial benefits too.
So is an itchy right palm God’s way of telling me that he approves of my family’s changes?
(And as an aside, now that the message has been received, will the itch finally go away??)
I’ve found, for instance, that I only get itches or twitches in my right leg when I tentatively think a thought that I’m not sure is good and I stop and think about it. It’s as if God is reinforcing my query, encouraging me to believe that it is indeed a good thought. When I’m sure that the thought in question is good, no signal usually occurs.
So I’d guess one of two things: 1) the itch is just an eczema, or 2) it means that the action in question is indeed a good action and God is reassuring you of that. But that’s just my all-too-fallible guess; I’m no prophet.
Hopefully the itch will go away now.
It’s certainly worth an experiment. Give it a try - in fact, give it several tries; you want to build up a significant set of data points - and report back.
:rolleyes: Okay, I’m outta here. Somebody PM me if the thread gets funny.
(sneaking a look)
Never mind. I’m back.
I’m not offended at all by the concept that God will yet reveal more truth to humanity. I am, after all, active LDS. What I am offended by is blatant dishonesty.
Serious question, Monty - why would Snark Hunter’s bishop sanction him? I mean, it’s not like he told the bish he was going to write a book that said that God is a myth, or that polygamy is A-OK, or that the Angel Moroni was actually Satan. IANA Mormon, but it doesn’t sound like the OP’s theory conflicts hugely with LDS doctrine; I can imagine his bishop thinking thinking “Homeboy needs to get out more”, but not seeing any serious error. Am I mistaken?