I had a (ex)friend who asked me have I ever been to the gyno. I said, “no”. She said, “good”. I asked, “why?”. She said, “My insurance has been discontinued, can you go the gyno and ask for some birth control pills because I need them?” What’s worse, it was implied that I needed a pelvic and rectum exam in order to get them. BITCH PLEASE, I wouldn’t do that for my own mother, what f**k makes you think I’ll do it for YOU! :mad: :mad: :mad:
A long time ago, a friend asked me to give him money for food stamps (US food money for the poor.) I gave him the money, but when it came to using them at the grocery, I chickened out.
Another friend told me of his plan to make a fraudulent insurance claim for “stolen” golf clubs and stereo gear. I talked him out of it.
“Honey, I’m out of tampons, can you please go to the store and get some for… running noises, door slams, car ignition turns over, tyres squeal… sweetie, the store is in the opposite direction. You’re going the wrong way. The… baby? Hello? Awww, goddamnit”.
A couple of weeks ago, a buddy of mine asked me to insure his motorcycle in my name. His reasoning? “I can’t afford to insure it myself, but you can insure it at a cheaper rate then I can.”
Now, there are several problems with this that I can think of off the top of my head:
- He’s not exactly good at managing his money (this motorcycle was almost reposessed over the winter because he had skipped a few payments. When I pointed this fact out to him, his excuse was: “It’s not that I forgot payments, it’s that the city thinks I owe them money from when they towed my car and I never got it back from them.” Granted, this car was pretty much worthless anyway (he got it for free, and it was worth every penny), but still… And when he does have money, he seems to spend it on frivolous stuff like bar tabs and less-then-legal substances.
- I don’t ride motorcycles, never have, never really wanted to.
- I don’t want to have my insurance history directly related to his motorcycle driving skills.
- I tend to hold to my parent’s lesson of “Don’t do business with friends or family when money is involved.” I’ve seen a few friendships and family relationships strained by money issues.
- I’m pretty sure this would be considered insurance fraud.
Any other reasons why this is a bad idea? I know he’s going to ask me again next time I see him, and I need to think of a good way of telling him that I can’t help him out with this.
A couple of weeks ago, a buddy of mine asked me to insure his motorcycle in my name. His reasoning? “I can’t afford to insure it myself, but you can insure it at a cheaper rate then I can.”
Now, there are several problems with this that I can think of off the top of my head:
- He’s not exactly good at managing his money (this motorcycle was almost reposessed over the winter because he had skipped a few payments. When I pointed this fact out to him, his excuse was: “It’s not that I forgot payments, it’s that the city thinks I owe them money from when they towed my car and I never got it back from them.” Granted, this car was pretty much worthless anyway (he got it for free, and it was worth every penny), but still… And when he does have money, he seems to spend it on frivolous stuff like bar tabs and less-then-legal substances.
- I don’t ride motorcycles, never have, never really wanted to.
- I don’t want to have my insurance history directly related to his motorcycle driving skills.
- I tend to hold to my parent’s lesson of “Don’t do business with friends or family when money is involved.” I’ve seen a few friendships and family relationships strained by money issues.
- I’m pretty sure this would be considered insurance fraud.
Any other reasons why this is a bad idea? I know he’s going to ask me again next time I see him, and I need to think of a good way of telling him that I can’t help him out with this.
double posted.
Damnit.
About 20 years ago the wife of an associate wanted me to make her pregnant. She claimed they had been trying for over a year to get pregnant but his sperm count was too low. I politely decline and told her that the conversation never happened. About 3 months later she announced she was pregnant.
Just before the baby was due, I was talking to expectant father over a beer and he told me he was not the father. He told me he wrecked on a motorcycle when he was 18 and he permanently put his family jewels out of commision. Before he could say anymore I told he of the offer his wife made about 9 months earlier. He said that explained why all of a sudden she wanted to have sex for the first time in 2 years.
The shit hit the fan that night. She admitted it was an older neighbor that was the father of child. They divorced as did the neighbors and the neighbor got stuck with responisibilities of being the father including monthly child support payments.
I heard they were going back to sperm doners for finding out who their father was. Some fathered 100 kids! ! hope they have insurance !
Insurance companies sure have a hold over our lives. Your friend needs bc pills with no insurance. Why can’t she just go buy some? Because the doctors can’t give them out without an exam or be sued.
Wow, you mean that doctors can’t prescribe medication without examining the patient to see if that medication would be a benefit??
That’s just plain whacky, man.
As opposed to those business activities that have nothing to do with money?
The friend in question should go to Planned Parenthood – they have sliding pay scales. You can get pills cheap. The exam isn’t really all that bad, either.
I had a gay friend that asked me to marry a friend of his so he could get a green card. To say the least, it didn’t happen.
My sister in-law asked me to sign papers stating her kid had been with her between such and such a date (when he hadn’t). Seems she owes her ex-husband thousands of dollars in back child support and with a few signatures could get it reduced greatly. WTF. Can you believe the nerve of some people?:mad: Like their not going to be able to verify that story.
A guy once asked me to fuck him without a condom. I am so sure.
Once on the subway a stranger noticed my watch. It is a timex that clips onto a belt loop. She then asked if I would give it to her. She was’t flirting. She just wondered if I would just give her my watch.
I’ve had friends that knew that I could draw/paint ask me to do things for them in the past, something for their walls or portions of school projects, etc – the line of thinking here seeming to be that because I’m fairly good at it, it must take me only about ten minutes to whip one of these things out – then they would get offended when I won’t help them. I mean, come on, people, this stuff takes time. You don’t have to pay me hourly for it but you could at least offer to buy me dinner or something. Sheesh.
Once upon a time, Private (or maybe Specialist) Mephisto was walking across the floor at his National Guard Armory when the unit slacker approached him and said, “Do my KP for me.” There was no reason for Mephisto to do Slacker’s KP. They weren’t friends. Mephisto didn’t owe Slacker. Slacker wasn’t offering anything to Mephisto. Perhaps Slacker thought Mephisto would do it because Mephisto once volunteered to do all of another soldier’s work (because that soldier’s mom died that day). But this was different. Slacker just wanted Mephisto to slave away in a hot–and I mean hot–kitchen all day so Slacker could go home early (it’s around 0815, y’all). Keep in mind, he wasn’t supposed to go home, but on this particular day he could get away with leaving early, except of course for the fact that he had KP and the cooks were expecting him. Naturally Mephisto just looked at this cretin, shook his head, and walked away. Poor Slacker. The really cool thing: Mephisto’s section did such a kick-ass job, their first sergeant sent them all home before noon that day anyway! Mephisto and all his friends smiled and waved at Slacker on their way out the door. Slacker did not smile back. And Mephisto doesn’t really know why he wrote all this in the third person.
Give me [some number] dollars.
Give me your sandwhich.
Some guy who liked me in a way in which I do not like guys evidently thought I turned gay when drunk and tried to take advantage of me in what was probably the most inept of attempted seductions in all the history of inept attempted seductions.
An ex friend of mine asked for my dad’s credit card number so she could pay something off over the internet. She didn’t want to apply for her own card because she didn’t “trust” herself to be responsible with it. :rolleyes:
About ten days after I got divorced, I walked out to my car after work and my ex-wife’s younger sister (in her mid-twenties) was sitting on the hood.
Me: What’s up?
Her: Well, you’ve got custody of the kid and need somebody to keep house. I need a place to stay. I thought we could, like, work something out?
I was perhaps too mean in my response, but I’ve never regretted being mean. She has always been one of those people that seem to have a problem with grasping the meaning of “NO”. I explained it so she understood fully.
“Could you write this essay for me?”
From one of my students. Oh yeah, I’m going to help you cheat in my own class!