Wha?
Was this a sexual thing, or was she just trying to make a hole and then fill it?
Oh, christ, no pun intended.
I was asked if I could be surrogate for my SIL’s next child, since she had such awful morning sickness. :rolleyes:
She wanted to move in and become “The Woman of the House” in every sense.
The problem from my perspective was that the things I couldn’t reconcile about her sister, this one had double doses of.
Ex-boss left the company under a cloud. She had been a moody bitch who had been extremely unpleasant to me for no reason on occasion. I was pleased she left.
A week after her departure, ex-boss calls me, and says “Can you get me some company headed paper? I need it for… er… my records.”
“I don’t really think I can do that,” I reply.
“How about a picture of you?”
Me: 
“So I can put it by my bed and think about you at night.”
Me: “Err… no.”
“Well, how about the headed paper then?”
“Um… no. Bye.”
click
This isn’t the boldest thing (probably) but it’s the only thing that comes to mind.
(Trying to not make this too long, fearing I’ll fail in the attempt) :
We’re always understaffed at work, so it’s always a big deal to get us to do overtime. I don’t like to work overtime. One time the boss calls me two days before my weekend to ask me to work on my day off. I say I’ll think about it, and if she’ll call me the next day (my “Friday”) I’ll let her know. She never calls the next day. I figure that she found someone else to work, so I make plans for my weekend. I had planned to offer to work a half day had she needed me, but hell. She obviously didn’t need me to work—she didn’t call back, right?
On my first day off (I got Mondays and Tuesdays off) I had to attend a one-hour mandatory meeting for work. No big deal; I figured I’d attend the meeting and then drive off to do some of the things I had planned afterwards. So I attend the meeting. During the meeting, the boss calls and says, “We didn’t get to talk about you working that overtime.” (As if it was a two-way street, as if I neglected to do my part to communicate!) I said, no, I never heard from her. She asks, “Can you work right now? After the meeting?” I say, “NO. I have PLANS!” She then asks, “How about working tomorrow?” (She’d never brought up the idea about working the next day before that.) I audibly gasp with frustration and say, “NO! I have PLANS!” I also should add here that I was not dressed for work (I need to wear more casual clothes) and I didn’t bring some of the things I needed to make my work day comfortable. I was dressed to go out, not to work.
Good grief. The stupid woman could not bestir herself to call me when I asked her to call me, and instead waits until the last minute, and then tries to act as if it was due not to some neglect on her part, but just because “we didn’t connect”. Bull Shit. If she so desperately needed someone to work overtime, it’s best to not leave the arrangements until the last minute. (And I mean that literally.)
I was minding my own business when this couple drops by. One was a lady in her mid-fifties, I guess, and the other a greying old man with silver whiskers and traces of a beard. I have the most funny (as in werid, alarming) conversation ever.
Old Man: Excuse me…
<trips and fell. I scrambled to my feet ready to help but the lady was already there to help>
Mid-Age Lady: See, you always so clumsy and so stupid!
<Old man gets his footing and look at me>
Old Man: I don’t know whether you work for the police force…
Me (to self): What the hey does he means by that?
Lady (interrupting): You see, my dad just got out from the jail this morning and they didn’t give him his stuff. They call me early in the morning to fetch him and I didn’t bring out any cash. Could you lend us some money for transport or maybe a meal?
Honestly, I have people stopping me half-way for hand-outs, but it’s the first time I have the person beginning his request like that.
In the end, I gave some money. Though in the end I kicked my myself - I never heard of a prison around there…then maybe I am ignorant.
A close friend, “Mary”, was applying for a job and had gotten to the point where the company wanted to call her references. In the past 4-5 years, Mary has had about 6 jobs, all of which ended due to major conflicts between Mary & just about everyone she worked with. So Mary had no references to give. She called me to ask if she could give the company my phone number, and when they called, I would pretend to be a former coworker and give her a good recommendation. Fortunately, I wasn’t home when she called, and by the time I returned her message, she’d gotten her mom and another friend to lie for her.
Same thing happened to me, lainaf! Except the dolt didn’t even warn me, so when the company called me for a reference, I told them I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.
One day I was driving along a 6th Street in Lawrence, Kansas, during the local rush hour. It’s a four lane road that gets very busy. A really, really drunk/stoned guy walks right into traffic. I’m on the inside lane. The car next to me stops. The guy staggers to right in front of my car. I screech to a stop. Then the guy stops. He just stands there in my lane, right in front of my car. Traffic is immediately backed up as far as you can see in both directions. I can’t go forward, and there’s cars on all sides of me.
The guy still just stands there, weaving back and forth.
I get out, telling the other person in my car to move it after I get him out of traffic. I basically drag the guy to the shoulder and into a parking lot. I ask him, “do you need some help? can I call someone for you?”
He says, “come back to my motel room with me.”
I say, “no thanks, I’m not into that.”
At that point he says, “you mother f***er” and takes a swing at me. He’s so drunk/stoned he can’t actually hit me though. He keeps on swinging, and I keep backing up and ducking. He won’t stop.
Finally I look up. There are 3 or 4 police cars that arrived at some point in the parking lot, with 6 or 7 obviously bemused police officers standing there watching.
I say, “he needed help to get out of the road.” The police officers smile and nod, and a couple grab the guy, throw him to the ground, and handcuff him. I walk over to my car, get in, and leave. The police never said a word to me.
It was one of the strangest things that ever happened to me.
Kinda tame compared to some of the above, but a girl joined a D&D campaign I was playing in, and after about a month (3-4 games) she called me up to say that she was absolutely convinced that I was the guy she was going to marry, the perfect man for her.
As it turns out, she was mistaken.
Well, there was the kid who worked for me who wanted me to cosign a loan for him. I passed. He wound up getting a grossly overpriced vehicle with an obscene interest rate, but that’s all he could qualify for.
Or the former college classmate who came by to visit me a year after I graduated (he’d been kicked out for bad grades.) In the middle of a mundane conversation about my house, he asked “Would you like to have sex with me sometime?” This was both bold and bizarre because when we were in college, he opted to join some computer dating service rather than ask me out, even tho I’d have loved to date him. Heck, I’d even invited him to dinner at my place once, but he wasn’t interested. So I laughed - I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t. He left shortly thereafter and I never heard word one from him again.
Mr S’s trashy irresponsible sister, with whom he has almost NO contact, called up one day to ask if we could take her semidelinquent son into our home :eek: so he could switch to our school system. (We don’t know this kid at all.) Seems he’d been having trouble getting picked on by gang kids at his own school, and she wanted to transfer him. Yeah, like we want to bring that into OUR home!
We advised her that she could do that without having him live here, and pointed her toward the appropriate public agencies. Sheesh.
So I was looking for a new apartment because it turns out my current roomate is bi and a bit more interested in me than I feel comfortable with. Not to mention he is the worst roomy I have had for several other reasons. I meet I guy I roomed with several years before who in the intervening years had:
-Moved across country to live with a girl who them dumped him after taking him for several thousand dollars.
-Had a couple G’s in collection.
-Upon finishing school lost two potential jobs by failing the drug test.
-Now worked in the local head shop.
In order to get an apartment together he asked me to cover his security deposit (huge because of his credit rating) and first two months rent, this while I am living at the poverty level myself as I am a grad student.
Call me a sap but I did it. Turns out he paid me every penny after about a year.
That’s impressive, flight. I would have never taken that kind of chance on such a guy.
A random dude on the subway once asked me if he could borrow my cell phone to call his drug dealer. (I gave him the Friedo Dirty Stare of Death[sup]TM[/sup] and he went away.)
When I was in college some guy on my floor asked if he could borrow my dorm room to have sex in, since someone was having sex in his room. I was in the middle of memorizing sorting algorithms for a CS final. I said, “What is this a fucking motel? Why in God’s name would I let you have sex in my room, probably on MY BED, when I need to study for finals?”
He said, “Come on, man, take one for the team.”
I said, “No.”
He flunked out after two semesters.
I had the “can I use your dorm-room” thing many many times in college, that’s what I get for living there for 5 years.
My worst one was when I was about 15, we were on vacation at the beach with another family that my parents were friends with. They had a kid that was about 12 or so, and I let him hang around with me in exchange for not having to hang around with the rest of the group (“you can go, but you have to take ___” sorta thing)
Totally out of the blue, with no preamble or conversation related to the question, he asks if I’ll show him my dick. The worst part was, at the time we were on one of those little tourist-train thingys that carry you back and forth from the parking lot, and there were tons of people around us. He kept at it too, he said “I’ll betcha got a big one”, or somehting to that effect.
Needless to say, that did not happen. I should have told on him, but I didn’t. Fuckin’ weird kid.
In my previous life, I was going over a PSI - a pre-sentence investigation - with a client. These were standard reports that were generated before a judge would impose a sentence. Obviously, a clean PSI meant that you could credibly argue for leniency or a diversion program; if your guy had already been through the system a few times, you lost those easy options.
I went over each of the previous convictions and history with him, explaining that this likely meant he would have to do some time in county.
Without blinking an eye, he told me I should just tear up those sheets, so that the judge “wouldn’t know” about any of that other stuff.
I explained that I couldn’t do that, and even if I could, the prosecution had access to the same information I did.
Not a criminal mastermind.
Could you please pass the katsup.
IT’S KETCHUP!
A former girlfiend, after we broke up, asked me to father a child for her.
She promised “no responsibility” and “no future commitment” but I just couldn’t do it.
She was pretty mad that I refused.
One of my friends has a habit of asking to borrow money off me. I always say no, and suggest he asks his mother instead. Money complicates friendships, and that’s something I’d rather not get into.
What really gets me is that I’m between jobs at the moment, and living off my (rapidly dwindling) savings. He works full time, but still manages to run out of money at the end of each month. While I understand that everyone likes to treat themselves occasionally, I have a hard time taking him seriously when he shows me his new £60 shirt one minute, and then pleads poverty the next.
As I told him last week, it might be time to give up some of life’s little luxuries, and concentrate on the necessities instead. The rest of us have to do it all the time.
My husband and I were at a late night bar and there was a guy in the bathroom that told my husband someone was out to beat the shit out of him. So he asked for a ride, and my husband said yes.
So I’m driving and my husband is in the passenger seat, dude is in the back. He asked my husband if he could FUCK ME. My husband reached under the seat and pretended to get a gun and told the guy to start walking. It was pretty creepy.