Bon Mots

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Here’s a few I’ve picked up over the years.
Can you add more?:slight_smile:
“God sacrificed God to God to save God’s creations from God.”
That notion is just absurd!

Religion- an attempt to control your thinking through fear

“I’ll tell ya what class is…class is steppin’ outta the shower when ya gotta take a leak.” (Rodney Dangerfield)

Catholic Doctrine: “Leave No Child’s Behind” (Hitchens)

Illiterate? Write for help.
“If you need more anesthisia, just holler”

“Where religion ends, civilization begins” (Hitchens)

It was actually WC Fields who said “Fish fuck in it” in reference to water.

“Better later than later”

“When a person dies a Universe dies”
“When an old person dies it’s like a library burns down” (African Proverb)

“All computers are just organized sand” (XKCD)

“Cyanotic Spheroids”: Blue Balls (Cecil Adams)

“Lorianna Bobbit virus: Turns your harddrive into a 3/12 inch floppy” (Eureka TV show)

2

“Up with this I will not put.”

  • C. Hitchens
3

— Gaudere’s Law

4

“when they circumcised him, they threw away the wrong bit.”
David Lloyd George

everything François de La Rochefoucauld ever said

5

If you know what you’re doing, it’s not an adventure.

6

Or, maybe W. Churchill? In regards to ending a sentence with a preposition.

7

“The wages of pedantry is pain.”

  • Carroll O’Connor
8

Somewhere on YouTube there’s another clip of Hitchens stealing from Churchill without attribution: regarding a Labor MP who was upset by the arena scene in Quo Vadis:

“Do you know why Mr. Mayhew walked out? It was because his socialist,
egalitarian principles had been outraged. There was one poor lion who
hadn’t got a Christian.”

9

David Crosby was fired from the Byrds while they were making the album The Notorious Byrd Brothers. The album covershowed the three remaining members, plus a horse, looking out of the stalls of a stable. Crosby claimed angrily that the horse was meant to depict him. Roger McGuinn replied, “If we’d really meant the horse to represent Crosby, we’d have turned it around.”

10

“The perfect is the enemy of the good”
-Rand Paul

11

Well, at least Senator Paul had the good taste to steal his quote from Voltaire, so I give him credit for that, if not for originality.

“It has nothing to do with easy. It’s about doing what’s right because it’s right. That’s the only reason you need."

-The goddamn Batman

12

Another good one from Churchill: “Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing… once all other options have been exhausted.”

13

My youngest, whose twelve, just gave me this. As far as I know its totally original:

“Now’s never ‘now’
because ‘now’ was before;
now ‘now’ isn’t ‘now’
(because its not ‘now’ anymore…!)”

:smiley:

14

Common sense isn’t.

It doesn’t take all kinds, there just are all kinds.

People are funny, but not very.

15

And inaccurate!

16

There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.

17

Well, I actually DID that a couple of times that I can remember.

18

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
– Samuel Goldwyn (I think).

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.
– Playboy Magazine.

19

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. --James Branch Cabell

20

“I didn’t actually say all those things I said” – Yogi Berra.