I warn you. This is a long one. I think. It supposed to be, but I won’t know for sure until I’m done. If I keep this up it’ll be real long. Stop. I’m ok now.
OK. A lot of you have replied to a couple of my threads describing my inability to approach women just out of nowhere. I know I’m not the only one with this problem, assuming for a moment it actually is a problem. Anyway, I’ve been on a couple of dates recently. I’m 21, by the way. They were both very cute, and had their personalities matched their looks, I would not be sitting here on a Friday night writing this.
The first one was 22 year old Jennifer. She began the night in a sweatshirt and jeans, knowing we were going to a nice restaraunt(with dress code). We went to Bennigan’s instead. She got in my car and immediately accused me of being a sexist pig because I listen to the Ticket, which is the local sports radio station. I flipped it to some crap music she wanted to listen to. I have no idea what that shit was, but I was trying to keep the peace. On the way there, she started bringing up some of these advocacy groups she’s involved in and told me to remind her to get me a “Vote for Gore” bumper sticker when I dropped her off after the date. I informed her I was a Republican and that led to complete silence all the way to the restaraunt. I was wondering if she was ever going to speak to me again. We get there and I ordered a beer. She gives me the ‘you can never go out and not have a beer alcoholic’ talk. She doesn’t even know me! So I get a Dr. Pepper instead. The waitress comes back with our drinks. She orders a salad and I order a burger. This look of rage came over her. I was just waiting for her head to spin around and projectile vomit to fly all over myself and the couple behind us. The waitress looked at her, looked at me with fear in her eyes, saw the fear in my eyes, and quickly left. That’s when I got the ‘I’m in PETA any meat animal by-product is bad’ speech. I called the waitress over and asked if she’d placed our orders. She informed me that she had gotten the clue that we might not be sticking around and had hung on to the order, just in case. I thanked her and took Jennifer home. One down.
Next came 25 year old Amanda. Not only could she not carry on an intelligent conversation, she couldn’t even maintain a single train of thought for more than what seemed like a few seconds.
“Hi. My names Amanda. It’s nice to meet I was at the Gap the other day and saw the most awesome oh my God look at what she’s wearing. Can you believe she would wear that in public. That’s just there’s this guy I ran into and he said…”
You get the idea. At least she wasn’t a total bitch, but I could feel her just sucking the intelligence from my brain. Which would have been ok if she had been able to retain the information she was taking from me. We eventually would have leveled out with IQ’s aproximately the equivalent of an amoeba’s. That’s combined IQ’s, I might add. You think I’m kidding, but no shit, it was like talking to a rock. I had to reach up every once in a while and wipe the drool off my chin. That little bit of excersise, I’m sure, is the only thing that kept me from going catatonic. I tried starting up a couple of my own conversations during the night, but after seeing the look of confusion on her face the first few tries, I gave up and let her have the floor for the rest fo the night. How the hell this woman got into college, I will never know. I mean, I can’t even imagine her even having an SAT score, much less a good one. I had this image of her looking at the SAT booklet and the whole thing just bursting into flames in an last fleeting attempt to save humanity and the national collegiate system. But I digress. We finished off the night at Sundance Square in Ft. Worth and I took her home. I didn’t say I’d call her back, nor did she. And we haven’t.
Now, I’m in Dallas. OK. I did have one other blind date after moving here, but it turned out to be one of my ex-g/f’s, so it doesn’t count. Thank God we broke up on good terms and were still friends. We ate dinner and saw a movie. All in all an enjoyable time, but we had been in one of those ‘comfortable’ relationships that we knew would never go anywhere. Anyway, I have had no luck meeting anyone I’m interested in. I’ve actually considered one of those dating service thingies, but I’m not sure about it. I mean, who sees all that info and how do those things even work? Does anybody have any other suggestions? Place to meet? Anything good I can slip into an unsuspecting woman’s drink?
I sit here alone waiting advice. 
What a shitty Friday. At least I have plans tomorrow night. 
Turn that frown upside down. I’m losing it. Where’s my therapist?
