You need to find people–real people, not anonymous strangers on a message board–who will confirm your impressions of the situation. Look for an Al-Anon or similar group to attend.
Stranger
It wasn’t a romantic relationship, but my dad is a recovering alcoholic. He started drinking when I was little and never stopped. In the end, I just grew up, got an education and moved out when I got a job. That’s how it stopped for me.
Oddly enough, I moved out 3.5 years ago and he’s been clean for probably almost 2 years. I know - started drinking when I was little, stopped when I left. But I know it isn’t my fault, I know what his trigger was to start, and even if me leaving was a trigger to stop, it’s a good thing for my mom.
Anyway, I simply had to cut the cord. That’s how I got out. I still am not very close to him, but I talk to Mom almost every day and as long as he’s sober when I come visit then things are good.
How does your BF hold down a job being that high?
I’ve known a number of people who smoke dope from dawn to bedtime, who would wake and bake and go to work, and who were able to hold down technical, demanding jobs with no particular problem.
Beat me to it. If you stick it out you will spend your time and money helping him be with his one, true love - drugs - and he isn’t going to kick that bitch out as long as he has you as a backup.