Very sad. I know what you are feeling. My friend killed himself aged 17. I know it’s hard now, but you will get over this, in time, believe me.
That prick on IRC should have tried to stop him.
I’m so sorry malkavia, you feel just so helpless reading that. 
That was one of the most tragic things I have ever read. I know first hand how suicide can torment friends and family. You have my sympathies.
Haj
I read those disgusting chat transcripts, and it makes me furious. What kind of fucked up people sit around and watch a “friend” die and think it’s funny? Where did that Smoke bastard come from?
Sorry posted acceidently before I finished.
That Smoke guy seems to me to be the most worthless human being on the face of the earth. And I can’t believe they sat around laughing at the scene unfolding in front of them!
I am so sorry for you pain. Hang in there.
Words absolutely fail me, malkavia. My thoughts are with you.
This is horrible and heartbreaking. I am so horrified and appalled.
My good thoughts and prayers go out to all who knew Brandon. I am so sorry, malkavia. How tragic.
Again, thank you for your kindness. Those people in that irc channel are not friends of mine and to the best of my knowledge, I’ve never spoken to any of them before. Brandon was an IRL friend and I didn’t get mixed up in his online affairs if I could help it.
Tonight a few of our friends (WeirdOne included) lit candles at South Mountain (ended up getting chased out by Park Rangers), had some coffee and talked and sang and cried together. There are just so many questions that have no satisfactory answers. I’m amazed at the people who left messages on the board that I originally found the transcripts through (I can’t link it because it’s got porn banners everywhere, but it’s off of the blogwars website.) They said things like “good riddance” and called him a “fucking idiot” and ya know… it must be really nice to be so detached from the situation that he ceases to be a person with hopes and fears and blood and spit and issues and inside jokes and ideas and friends and family and just becomes some story on a website… some soulless statistic.
I just hope some good comes from this somewhere. I keep promising myself that everything really does happen for a reason… but as one of my dearest friends said tonight during our hug, “It’s okay… okay, it’s really not.”
And he’s right.
It’s not okay at all.
malkavia you’ve got friends on this board. If you want to talk about it, I for one am here for you, even though I don’t know you.
I know what if feels like, I’ve been there. Don’t feel alone. You have to deal with this in your own way, if you want a little support, you can come and talk.
Damn :(.
I feel horrible for his mom. #1 she was in the other room. #2 the last words he ever said about her weren’t very nice. Didn’t he say “fuck my mom” or something like that somewhere in the chat log? I read it earlier today and then didn’t have time to post.
The whole situation sucks, he obviously didn’t mean to kill himself. It seems like he would’ve puked it up or something :(.
There’s a difference between fun and cool. Certain drugs can be fun sometimes (I’m thinking pot and beer here, not methadone), but I never liked the kids that thought drugs were “cool.” It’s such a blindly destructive mentality.
samarm, I may take you up on that.
Cisco, he and his mom always had a strained relationship, but I’m so so sorry that she was in the other room and that he said what he did. I cannot convey how disappointed I was to see him mention how “hardcore” he was.
Brandon, dear Brandon… being gone forever and unhuggable and unreachable and no longer there for the people who love you and miss you is not hardcore, it’s fucking tragic.
And now its almost 5am and it’s so quiet in this house and I just don’t want to sleep anymore.
Malk, I am very sorry that you have lost your friend and that it happened in such a cruel and needless way. The anger is so understandable.
Those you you who read here, please help other people to understand that depression is often a fatal illness. Be an example of compassion and nonjudgment for the mentally ill.
This is just terrible.
Wow, malk. I read the chat transcripts last night, and literally felt ill. Someone’s in serious trouble, and all these assholes can do is make smartass remarks. I hope none of these same assholes are in the same kind of trouble, but it would somehow be proof of a God if they found themselves in a chat room with the same kind of jerks that they were. If that makes sense.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Malk}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Robin
Once again, I’m sorry this happened.
I was thinking about it all last night and early this morning. Fuck, what do you say, you know? I can’t stomach the thought that their are worthless people out there who want to see someone go through something like this.
On another note, I remembered a class lecture I had in one of my psychology classes way back in the day. It was about a law that might apply here. Take this with a grain of salt because my memory is fuzzy.
In an apartment complex a woman was getting beaten. It was a loud and nasty incident. I think 10+ apartment dwellers were aware of the violence happening on the street below, but none of them called the cops or did anything about it. The woman was beaten for more than 30 minutes. When the police finally found her, she was dead. At the time none of the people could get charged with anything, it wasn’t against the law. But IIRC, because of that incident, a law was passed prohibiting such a thing.
I’m not sure how well my memory stands up, but it is something to look into, because I think it would apply here. I’m not a lawyer though, so I really don’t know.
I don’t know if there’s a law now, but you’re right about the story, Meatros. It was a woman named Kitty Genovese, and what happened was an example of something called diffusion of responsibility (at least, that’s what we learned in Psych 101.)
I’m so sorry for your loss, malkavia. My thoughts are with you.
That was one of the most shocking things I have ever read. I suppose that is as macabre as modern technology can get and I can only hope that there’s a lesson learned for all the youngsters reading it. But I am also concerned that it might not be the right one. Not sure that anyone contemplating suicide needs to know there’s an audience out there willing to cheer them on.
And although I am way too old to be a part of that whole culture and would like to think I would have acted differently if I was, I think it is a very hard call for some teens/young adults, apparently on drugs themselves, to have really known what was going on with Brandon – sadly, it was too late when they did.
I am in NO way trying to justify the actions of any of the people involved, but I was left to wonder just how often this type of morbid behavior – by all parties involved – goes on in that particular subculture. And if we’re just hearing about it now because Brandon died – chillingly enough, someone in the chat mentions what apparently was ‘another case.’
My heart goes out to Brandon and all who knew him. If his death serves to raise everyone’s awareness to this sordid side of the Internet, it will not have gone for naught.
Arghhh…how incredibly sad and maddening this whole thing is.
{{{{{{{{malkavia}}}}}}}}
malkavia, WeirdOne, I just don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry to read about this, and that it yet had to happen in such a tragic way.
I wish I had never read the transcripts, they are diturbing to say the least…
I’ve been sitting here for ages wondering what I can possibly say, typing and then deleting.
I am so sorry.
I don’t want to read the chat logs. They seem too… messed.
Meatros, that was also the subject of the last episode of Seinfield. A man was getting mugged and the Gang… guess what?.. videotaped it and laughed at the whole thing unfold.
They indeed are. People can be cruel.
Yes, I think I remember that now. The Wrong Girl was right though. Come to think of it, I think it was a Psych 101 class too.