"Breakfast of Champions" quip and hilarity

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve made the informal observation that when someone is eating something odd for breakfast, it is considered quite a hoot if someone remarks, “Breakfast of champions!” My hypothesis is that there is a direct correlation between how unconventional the breakfast food is and how hilarious that comment is. For example, if someone is having vodka for breakfast, it would go over very well as a joke for either the diner or an observing party to quip, “Breakfast of champions!” On the other hand, if someone were, for example, having oatmeal for breakfast, the same remark may fall flat or even be taken as a serious claim.

I’m interested in testing this hypothesis by collecting data more systematically. To that end, I’d like to appeal to the collective experience of the Straight Dope community. For any instances you can recall of this remark being used (whether by you, directed at you, or within your hearing range), it would be great if you could tell me:

[ol]
[li]what the breakfast in question consisted of, and[/li][li]how hilarious the comment was, on a scale of 1 to 10, judged either by your subjective impression, or approximated based on the ensuing laughter.[/li][/ol]

Thanks very much!

2

I don’t think it’s as much what is being eaten, as it is who is eating it. A wholesome person eating Wheaties is having the Breakfast of Champions because he’s a champion (or wants to emulate the champion). A slacker eating cold pizza for breakfast and calling ‘The Breakfast O Champions’ is being ironic.

3
  1. Leftover borscht and a half-bottle of Labatt’s. 4/10.
  2. Pussy. 8/10.
4

The eponymous “Breakfast of Champions” in Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions was… what? Gin and Corn Flakes? I can barely remember, now.

So it goes.

5

BTW, the phrase comes from a slogan Wheaties once used. Do they still use it?

In my case, “Breakfast of Champions” used to refer to coffee and a smoke. However, I’ve since quit smoking, so I don’t use it anymore.

6

I prefer The Breakfast of Losers. I don’t like having to live up to my breakfast.

7

IME, always used the day after a good drunk, always when cracking that morning’s first beer (or whatever it was that was left over).

Never really hilarious at all, what with the hangover. Rather, gallows humor of a sort…more like a lamentation, really.

8

My college roommate was known to occasionally pour Miller Lite over his morning bowl of Wheaties. Of course, we had to describe that as The Breakfast of Champions. (Otherwise nice guy, but Pete had some serious food quirks…)

9

Yes - a coffee and cigarette used to be my Breakfast of Champions.

10
  1. A Diet Coke and a box of aspirin,
  2. I raised a wry smile from a British man working in a garage forecourt at seven in the morning, so about eleven out of ten.
11

James Ellroy referred to two of the bad guys having Wheaties and whiskey as having “the breakfast of champions.” I think it was at the end of White Jazz. Not that funny in and of itself, so only a 3/10.

It’s what happens right afterwards, when the good guy bursts in with a gun, where the scene gets good.

12

<highjack> I used to call that my CNN breakfast (Cafeine 'N Nicotine)</highjack>

13

Well, referring to a freshly-made chimichanga (complete with deep fryer) at 8:30AM (brother gets a craving sometimes, shut up) as the Breakfast of Champions made my bleary-eyed wife fall over laughing, but she was pre-coffee so I’m not sure if it doesn’t count or counts double.

14

Ah, hamburgers. The cornerstone to any nutritious breakfast.

15

I always used to call my Moon Pie and Mountain Dew repast the Breakfast of Hillbilly Champions.

16

Coffee and a bag of potato chips (crisps). Preferably cheese-onion flavored.

Which actually does taste kinda good first thing in the morning.

17

Jolt Cola and Peanut M&Ms.

Always good to get revved up for that 8 AM class.

18

Was it Mad Magazine or Wacky Packages that touted a Wheaties parody as “The Breakfast of Chimpanzees”?

19

Jim Beam and Pepto Bismol.

20

Before I got married and had 3 kids, I was a a crazy partying bachelor for 20 years, our “Breakfast of Champions” was lunch.