Breaking up is hard to do

For only the second time in my life, I have that deep-down in the pit of my stomach ache knowing that someone I love will be gone. The first time was when we found out my wife had terminal cancer. I’ll never forget the night the doctor told us the test results. By the time she died 3 months later, I had been able to deal with a lot of my grief but that first week after the diagnosis, I was numb. In some ways, this was easier to deal with because I knew she would be gone and there were no second chances.

Now, I’m in a relationship where the other person has said she loves 2 people for different reasons but she has chosen to be with the other guy. The other guy is somewhat emotionally abusive but lives in a small town (which she prefers) and she’s attached to his mother. I’m everything she wants in a man but I live in a suburb of a big city. Basically, with him she gets to be a “mother” and with me she gets to be a “woman”. I know she loves me which makes it all the harder to deal with the fact that I know I’m going to have to tell her goodbye. We’ve talked about being “just friends” and having fun together. My problem is that based on their history (before I met her), it’s only a matter of time before they breakup. If I cut her loose now, I may never see her again. If I stick around, I may get her back. This is so much harder than before because I know what I should do but I’m finding it hard to do it.

Anyway, right now I just really need a hug. I know what I should do and I know that I’ll get over it but right now, it really hurts.

{{{{{thewiz}}}}}

Ask and you shall receive. I’m sorry about your situation, but there’s a hug, anyway.

{{{{{{thewiz}}}}}}}}

Sucks, man. As a female type, myself, I’d prefer a man who lets me be a woman, and doesn’t make me be his mom. Places to live can be negotiated.

You sound like you’ve been to hell and back, which is all the more reason to hang in there.

Your reward will be coming soon. I wish I had better advice, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

{{{thewiz}}} :frowning:

{{{{thewiz}}}}

I can totally understand how you feel. Emotional pain is living hell. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but the pain of losing someone you love will never fully go away. Just wish for the best, and hopefully everything will turn out okay. You’ve got an enourmous shoulder to cry on, if need be, here at the SDMB.

I hope things get better for you soon, man. Sounds like you’re going through a hard time. :frowning:

F_X