Breast Envy . . .

An earlier post mentioned that today was “Dead Bra” day and I realized something while reading the posts. I am envious of women because they get to have breasts. I mean, everybody loves them, and everyone wants to touch them and look at them. And you get to try on cool bras and wear shirts to show off the breasts so that everyone takes notice. And you can use them as tools to get whatever you want if you’d like. Must be rough. I want breasts.

And I guess I have vagina envy, too, now that I think about it, but I’ll save that for another post.

If I have breasts, I think I’d spend my days doing jumping jacks in front of the mirror. Then I’d take a break and try on a few bras, frolick in a meadow or two, and then back to the mirror for more jumping jacks . . .

Heh. If you had breasts, you’d realize why that’s a bad thing to do. You could try putting on a lot of weight though; I hear some guys get some breast development that way.

So get see a doctor and get some steroids.

Don’t get NEAR my breasts, buddy.

As for jumping jacks, owie!

Why not? Are they valuable antiques? Are you afraid that I will fondle them without your permission? That’s prejudice against breast enviers!

And as far as your “owie” comment, it really hurts that bad? The nice ladies in the adult movies don’t seem to mind when their boobies are bouncing this way and that.

Even if they didn’t hurt (mine wouldn’t) consider that all that bouncing would pull on the skin and tissue and soon your nipples would be paying rent to your belly button.

I do have to say that, in all truth, I like having breasts. I’m not gay but I would like to feel someone else’s breasts. They are nice to look at too.

I thought this was going to be about how women always insist some other, well endowed, woman must have implants.

Anyway, breasts are nice but I think I’m more envious of vaginas than I am boobs.

Last night I was almost felt up by one of my gay male friends. Apparently he had never touched breasts before and wondered what they felt like in his hand. No, he didn’t get permission 'cause it was just too awkward of a moment for that sort of request.
Aesiron, many women can tell when another woman has breast implants because of the way they hang and also how high up on the chest they are. Naturally perky breasts hang lower than most breast implants do for some reason.

I use my breasts as a ledge sometimes. I used to have a cat that would lay on top of them like a ledge (not for long, but he could do that). I use them to keep doors open if I am carrying armfuls of stuff.

I’m telling ya—they are very convenient at times.

rhino, hon, they’re getting PAID.

Nancy Friday had a chapter entitled “Breast and Vagina Envy” in her book Men in Love. That was her book of male sexual fantasies. It wasn’t a very long chapter, compared to the others, so, assuming her sampling wasn’t too badly skewed, this isn’t as common a fantasy, but apparently rhinostylee isn’t alone.

Of course, it’s like the old joke. If I had breasts, I’d never get anything done.

It still amazes me every day how I managed to get past the getting up and showering stage, I mean boobs are freaking hilarious.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve come round standing infront of the mirror laughing myself hoarse cos I caught a glimpse of my tits.

Trust me, if you’re well-endowed, bouncing can hurt. They may look fascinating while they bounce, but it doesn’t feel good at ALL. Ever wonder why there aren’t any large-breasted athletes, besides the fact that they do get smaller when you exercise as much as they do?

I’m glad you like them. You’re supposed to like them. Just don’t go around pawing random breasts. :slight_smile:

There’s no such thing as a Random Breast.

Even if you’re not so well-endowed it can hurt.

I’ve felt lots of women’s breasts, for what it’s worth. Boobies are neat.

Jealousy be because they don’t have large breasts, perhaps?

Flash of inspiration - why have i never tried that???

Bugger. Thats why.

My GF has large (and yes, augmented) breasts. I love when we go out in the summer and she’s wearing a low cut shirt.

What you notice is that with guys, we’re (most of us) conditioned to taking quick peeks and trying not to get caught. Most guys, especially when the girl is with her BF, will take a quick glance and move on.

What’s so cool is watching the GIRLS look. Some women just stare and stare, especially when they’re really hanging out. It’s become my new hobby. I don’t know why (well, yes I do) but I get such a charge outta watching all those women stare down her shirt.

Her best friend and her are both augmented. They’re always showing each other their boobs and trying on each others bras and stuff. I just hate that…

I’m not such a fan of breast implants. In fact, when surfing porn on the net, I only surf the “natural” websites (aren’t you all so proud of me)! I can always tell. They look so unnatural. Like a couple of basketballs jammed into a girl’s chest, and generally speaking, the larger they are, the more ridiculous they look.

I think that the only girls that should get implants are the ones with mosquito bites for breasts. They need something, but keep it modest! A girl with a stick figure would never have naturally huge breasts! It’s so obvious!

Even girls with small chests I think should stray from the implant solution. As long as you have a handful, you’re okay. On some women, it is very sexy that they have smaller breasts. It makes them more petite.

For the record, the fact that a girl has implants would not for a moment stop me from sleeping with her. They just aren’t my preference.

Good to see that the op is staying in touch with his feminine side.