When you’re hearing the same message from both people who know and care for you, and complete strangers on the internet, then you know it’s time to listen. 
And we all know and understand that it’s a tough thing to do. You obviously care a lot for this woman. But you also need to care a lot for yourself, your own happiness and your own mental health.
I wish you all the best.
In response specifically to this, and in line with what some other people in this thread have said:
You don’t get to decide what is the gold standard of a “normal relationship where both people love each other”.
Loving relationships come in all shapes and sizes. There are some couples that spend every waking moment together if possible and the rest of the time texting. There are other couples that don’t feel the need for constant contact, but just enjoy their quality time when they do get together.
What you do get to decide is what you need and expect out of a relationship, and articulate those needs and expectations using your words. If the other person isn’t on the same page as you and can’t give you what you need, you have to decide whether you can live with that. If the other person is unwilling even to acknowledge that there needs to **be **communication and negotiation going on, that is pretty much a recipe for disaster.
It sounds like this lady has a different standard of “normal” than you do, and that is a decision that she gets to make for herself. That does not mean that she is “messed up”. However, it doesn’t sound like she’s had much experience or practice with healthy communication, and that is the larger red flag here. It really sucks, but that’s not something that you can fix.
It says she is in a relationship, and it was updated once we became exclusive.
So that is real.
When I changed my status to in a relationship, I attempted to add her name. It was pending and she told me that everyone that needs to know whom she is dating already knows. So I dropped it. So, no names attached.
She has me in a few pictures on her facebook. Some of which show us embracing.
She never writes anything about us on her wall.
Except once I sent her flowers and she posted that and a thank you to me.
She did tell me that I overshare.
She doesn’t care what I did with my day.
When I tell her, she thinks it is subtle pressure to make her share as well.
However, she often asks me about my day.
Very odd and conflicting.
Also, when I text her on her days off to say hi, she says she thinks I am sweating her even though I do not pry.
You’ve already received a great deal of worthwhile advice, so I’ll just add this: a 5-year age difference isn’t even CLOSE to being “a generational thing” and you know it. You’re making excuses.
I agree.
For whom is the excuse?
Her behavior? My reaction to it?
Please expand on that point.
Fair enough, I was less than clear. Lemme try again.
The part of your original post that I quoted was centered around your assessment of her media usage: texts and FB, mostly. I was trying to point out two things:
a 5-year age gap doesn’t even come close to being a generational difference: that sort of thing is generally measured in decades, not the years amounting to the fingers on one hand.
you don’t want to acknowledge that you and { girlfriend } have vastly different ideas and ideals (not a typo) about personal time, sharing personal details with an SO, tapping on FB or cell texts while with the SO, etc. so you blame a fictitious “generational thing” instead of seeing that you are two very different people who want two very different things.
Did that help clarify?
Yep, and I agree.
Update 2:
I broke up with her tonight.
It is very difficult as I care for her still and know she is hurting. She was very upset and pleaded.
I have been tempted to initiate contact and potentially try again several times tonight.
I have resisted these urges however and told myself to not do anything until a night’s sleep.
Thanks everyone for the input.
I needed support tonight and so talked to my brother and mother.
They told me that when I brought her around the family that my brother, mother, and father all independently (and on multiple occasions) saw her scowling and staring at my niece and nephew that are very young in a seeming attempt to keep them away from her while they played. They said she never did it while I was around and only when she thought that no one else but the two children would take notice.
They had all witnessed it independently and discussed it in concern without my knowledge as they did not want to taint my relationship based upon this.
This caused them obvious concern at the time.
When they told me this, I could have been knocked over by a feather.
That is not normal behavior toward children of age 4 and 6, in my opinion.
She was not very friendly to them in my presence, but I would have never expected that behavior. Staring and scowling angrily at young children as they play in a happy and innocent manner? My mother saw it the most and said it was one of the creepiest things she has ever witnessed.
My nuclear family is very stable and supportive and would never concoct or imagine something like this.
I read your OP and felt like I was reading my own biography. I not so long ago was involved in a painfully identical scenario. How she could be everything I dreamed of in person then so vague and evasive in regard to anything else in her life was maddening. The answer was I was not her SO I was a voice in the choir. It blew up when we had an afternoon together and I posted photos of us and tagged her. Next thing I know half her fb page disappears for me. She was tagged as “in a relationship” but refused to specify with me, I poked around her fb friends and one of them is flagged “in a relationship with (her)” I confront her she says he is a friend and it was done as a joke. I didnt think it was funny but it disappeared. The next 2 months I was hyper vigilant, to the point of taking notes and documenting the plans she mentioned so as to be able to cross reference later. At that point everything disintegrated. FB posts and claimed activities conflicted. Claiming Taking a sick teenager to ER when said kid is posting pictures from a concert and this is commenting how glad she was able to manage to to get tickets for the two of them. (I bought the tickets weeks earlier). Sadly if I had thought that the concert would have meant so much to the daughter I would have sent them with my blessing with no lies needed. After that…I didnt trust her anymore. We went out a few more times, the sex was still amazing, but I just couldnt let go of the lies. I confronted her about the concert, she flipped out that I was stalking her on fb and blocked me.
Sorry for your pain. It’ll get better. Tincture of Time will help.
Frankly, I’d find it incredibly rude if I was on a date with someone and they spent most of the date texting other people.
There were actually half a dozen other minor discrepancies the concert was just the most obvious.
drachillix, well, you were stalking her on FB. And it’s not an uncommon defense for someone who’s been caught out and out in a series of lies to turn around and attack the attacker, as she did you.
I was FB friends with the daughter as well. The concert pics popped up in my feed from the daughter posting them. I didnt need to go looking for them.
It is only stalking in a very limited way. It is looking at information that the person made available to you to begin within in order to confirm or falsify your concerns. It is looking with a purpose.
If you have valid concerns with someone, then I think it is only natural to do some light checking.
I would never consider it stalking me if someone checked my publicly available information. It would be a bit creepy if they did it all the time. But I’m not concerned and would not throw out a label such as stalking simply because I don’t have anything to hide.
What was even worse is when she went from leaving her phone alarms audible and checking them in front of me to silencing the phone and/or letting messages accumulate and then checking them/responding all at once every few hours when she knew I would not be nearby. For instance, she would usually be finishing up texting as I walked out of the bathroom, got back from a convenience store, etc.
She started this suddenly after the major inconsistencies popped up.
She did not mention it or why.
I had said nothing to her that would make her feel that I wanted this, and I did not mention this change. I let it play out to see what was going on.
So, it went from shady behavior to even more shady.
I’m glad now that I did not mention all these small things as they occurred, at least in this case. If I had, I would have basically been instructing her on how to better deceive me. If a person is honest though, it is obviously best to express concerns as they arise so that they can potentially amend disrespectful behavior.
timewilltell, I am sure from what you posted it wasn’t easy to break up. You know what though? A relationship shouldn’t be that hard! Shortly after my SO and I became exclusive, I had an ah ha moment when it dawned on me how easy our relationship was, and still is. I was married to my ex for 18 years and every day was a challenge. I was always trying to interpret his mood, trying to figure out if he was lying about where he was, waiting for the garage door to open and getting a knot in my stomach when it did and I had to wait and see what kind of mood he was in. With my SO now, none of that is relevant.
Hopefully you will meet someone like that, if you keep looking. Don’t settle