Assume the person you are dating, living with, or married to gets suspicious that you are not being true and demands to see your phone so they can read your emails and related instant messages. Would you give up your (unlocked and accessible) phone or say “no”.
The road to regaining trust once lost, is a long and arduous journey, often never completed.
Sure, and then we’d have a lot of talks about what was bothering him, and why, and we’d figure out what was wrong.
He’s never been the slightest bit jealous or suspicious in 20 years. If he suddenly was, something is off between us, and it’s entirely possible I’m the problem, even if I am faithful and honest. He’s a sensible man. If he’s suddenly worried, something is off and I want to comfort him and then figure out how we fix things.
They wouldn’t have to ‘demand’.
When I’m in a relationship I don’t keep secrets, my SO has access to everything except my bank account and my SSN. If my SO wants to see my phone, my email, whatever - and if they die of boredom while reading my life they have nobody to blame but themselves.
However, if I was going to cheat I’d have a second throw way phone that nobody knows about. If I’m going to go through all the effort of cheating, I’d do it right. Separate phone, no paper trails, etc.
What Manda Jo said. She’s welcome to check it but it would be very unusual for her to ask.
I have old girlfriends that I will sometimes joke around with on line. I know this would anger her. It happens infrequently enough that I doubt she would catch it just looking at my mail now and then. My pass word stays logged on so she is free to see it anytime she wants.
No. I’m completely loyal, and have never cheated on her or been dishonest in a malicious way, and never will. But I also don’t want to justify to her every conversation, interest, or activity – we are different people who have different levels of understanding, and I don’t think anybody should have to open up the details of their life, except in some pretty pathologically exceptional circumstances like physical risk to others. We have separate banking, separate emails, we both handle highly confidential things at our respective jobs and never mix them. We have a lot of privacy. We give it to each other.
I don’t think this will ever hurt us. I’m very much in love with her and we’ve been together 28 years. She has no need or good reason to go through my phone, and I’m sure I have none to go through hers.
Heck, my GF already knows the code to my phone. That way, if I get a text while I’m driving or otherwise occupied, she can read them to me.
So, she wouldn’t have to ask.
My first question would be, “Since when are we monogamous?”
Can’t click any poll option, too many "doesn’t apply"disclaimerettes.
• My cellphone doesn’t have a lock as far as I know
• If I had a stalkeresque SO, she’d do better to read my emails and check my Skype history and my browser history. I don’t do much with my cell
• I’m poly so if she were curious about whether I’ve been seeing any new girlpeople, she’d just ask.
• I’m poly so if I had an SO who was suddenly developing a possessively exclusive attitude about me seeing any new girlpeople, a conversation would be in order; if I were seeing any new people it would not be cheating, it’s not against our rules
BUT YEAH…
• I would indeed find it worrisome and of concern if someone I were involved with became distrustful of me and thought I was scuttling around keeping something hidden and lying to her
My life is an open book.
Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
No, really.
Yes. She knows the code number for unlocking and occasionally uses it for browsing/calling when hers is not available for whatever reason. As I do with hers. We just don’t store private stuff on it.
I don’t lock my phone. It’s a telephone. I use it to make phone calls. Want to take a look at it? Knock yourself out.
What Manda Jo said.
I often give my phone to my husband anyway, he is my tech person. And I use his whenever I’m too lazy to get mine and want to web surf. He allowed my finger print to open his phone for that purpose.
No, fortunately, jealousy is not a problem we have.
I’m divorced, and don’t plan to get remarried any time soon, if ever. So I don’t have years of history and emotions and the like tied up in my current relationship. If my girlfriend demanded to see the contents of my cellular phone, I would show it to her. And then, once she’s inspected the phone to her satisfaction, I would immediately break up with her. I’m not at a place in my life where I have the temperament to tolerate that level of distrust in a relationship, especially not one that I have less than half a year invested in.
We don’t have smart phones and we use each other’s phones all the time. Even when he had a smart phone, I had access to it.
He also reads over my shoulder when I’m on the Dope, or on FB, or writing emails. Not constantly, but once in a while he might get curious. No biggie - I’d tell him if he asked.
Demand? Probably not. Ask politely? Sure. The only naughty texts he would find are already on his phone.
Thread winner.
I might not dump her, but I would make “Smell Yo Dick” her ringtone.
This. The only phone numbers in my address book are my wife, our kids, her mother, and the high school. I think the only other calls I’ve made in the last six months were to roadside service and to the doctor’s office. And if I get a call from anyone not in the address book, I don’t answer (the one exception to that being when roadside service called me back). I only get texts from my wife, the kids, an online calendar, and the service provider (AT&T, I think), and I’ve never sent any texts because I haven’t felt a need to learn how.