I was listening to a podcast today and they were talking about various tests that were unusual, and one that came up was the “Bristol Stool Scale”. Naturally, I couldn’t help myself, and I had to google the thing to see it. I mean, I don’t really have an interest in bowel movements, but it’s one of those creeping horror road accident kind of things, where even when you don’t want to, you find some other part of your brain has taken over your body and you do look. It’s not the horror that ratemypoo.com is, but still, it’s a bit off-putting.
We use the Bristol Stool Scale at work. It’s pretty good as these sorts of scales go. Didn’t stop some-one from writing “Mr Whippy” on a chart though.
I just removed some vandalism from that article. I look completely whacko if you take a look at the articles I’ve edited on wikipedia.
As compared to. . .? 
Everything else! Shut up! 
I have a charming family anecdote about the Bristol Stool Scale.
I’m one of four sisters. Two summers ago, three of us went on a long vacation together. We are, respectively, a lawyer (me), a doctor, and a grad student in speech pathology.
About four days into the vacation, Grad Student Sister mentions to us that she’s really constipated and asked for advice. Doctor Sister advised her not to worry too much about it. As the vacation went on and on, we kept asking Grad Student if she’d gone yet. She kept telling us no. It became a joke to ask for updates at random times. By the time she got to the eighth day without going Number Two, we were all beside ourselves with amusement.
Well, on Day Nine, we were lounging in a swimming pool when all of a sudden, Grad Student Sis says, “I think today is the day.” We all started laughing, and she declared that she was serious. Doctor Sister and I bet her $50 each that she couldn’t do Number Two before midnight that night. Being a poor grad student, she didn’t want to gamble away $100. We kept hounding her, but she wouldn’t bet.
So, that night, we are getting ready for bed in our hotel room when Grad Student Sis disappears into the bathroom for a really, really, REALLY long time. When she came out, she had a very serious look on her face.
“I went,” she told us. Doctor Sis and I looked at the clock. It was 11:47 pm. We were screaming with laughter about how she should have made the bet. But Grad Student Sis wasn’t laughing for some reason.
“I made pebbles,” she tells us, totally straightfaced.
Doctor Sis was instantly intrigued. “You made pebbles?” she asked. “Your poop looked like pebbles?”
Grad Student Sis was like, “Uh, I didn’t flush it, if you want to see it. I thought you might want proof.” I do not know why she thought this. Maybe she was hoping we would somehow be confused and she could collect on the (non-)bet.
So we all went running into the bathroom and looked at the Number Two. Doctor Sis starts telling us about the Bristol Stool Scale and declared, “I’ve never seen pebbles (Type I) before!” I guess she’d seen all the other types, but we didn’t ask her to elaborate. Doctor Sis was more excited about this than I really thought was normal.
Grad Student Sis was beside herself for not making the bet.
Now, when we are together, we don’t say, “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” We say, “I gotta go make pebbles.”
Well, if your sis wants to see some crazy stools, just send her my way. I’ve got IBS and never know what’s going to come out of my ass. (I can make “cornflakes.”)
I think her excitement was due to the fact that the pebbles completed her tour of the Seven Stool Wonders of the World. She now gets a little annoyed when we tease her about her excitement at getting to see the pebbles, so I don’t think I’ll pass on the invite.