I’m fond of the exaggerated, disapproving “Good Looowd”, à la Hastings on Poirot myself. Also the Cockney oi, as in “Oi ! You ! Stop that !”.
I use “bloody” where I’d like to say “fucking” or “goddam” but children are present.
However, if you pronounce “schedule” as “shedule” instead of “skedule”, I think you’re full of skit.
(stolen from Dorothy Parker.)
Not in “Harry Potter” ! – where there’s a great deal of the former, but to all intents and purposes, none of the latter. Though with Rowling’s writing primarily for children and adolescents, she had to do a bit of modifying of reality here.
Any British person will tell you that it’s not Guy Fawkes Day, it’s Bonfire Night…
For km I like to pronounce “KIL-a-meeter” and not “kilAAAHmetter”. It’s because it’s logical. But is that a britishism?
Same here; I guess we’re both a couple o’ silly cunts.
I say “bloody” because people at work get upset when I say “fucking”.
I say processing with a long “o”, mostly because I have a difficult time saying it with a short “o”.
Oh, and “Crimbo” amuses me, so I use it. It’s ghastly, I know.
I always “The wrong way round” instead of around. I’ve been saying is like that for years, to the delight of my daughter.
I also have a special fondness for the word
Cunt
May I recommend anticlockwise and Flippin’ 'eck?
Well, I do find myself throwing the word “cunt” about with frequency 
“Fuck off” is said all smooshed together with the stress on “off”
“I’m sat here” as in “I’m sat here with my thumb up my arse waiting for you wankers”
“Arse” and wankers"
“Numpty”
“Fandabidozy” (I have no idea how to spell it; just picked it up from the boyfriend)
“On about” as in “what are you on about?”
Such and such “really gets on my tits”
Jeez, you’d think I only communicate via pub talk.
There are many more but I can’t think of them, I assume because I’m so used to saying them.
Aside: I say “cell” or “cell phone,” not cellular, which as you point out is an adjective and I will not be using an adjective as a noun, thank you very much.
I first heard these phones regularly called “cell phones” during the O.J.Simpson trial in 1995, which (being out of work at the time) I watched religiously every day on TV; Marcia Clark referred to cell phones all the time. Up until then, the devices weren’t that widespread, and I can’t remember what we called them. I do remember that my late husband’s came in a bag as big as a Bible, and another friend had one that he used to stand on end like a brick in the middle of the lunch table.
I do like the British use (and pronunciation of) mobile. Someone upthread asked where we even hear these terms, and it’s on the zillions of British TV shows that we watch (like on AcornTV).
The word handy for the phones is charming. Around here, “handy” can refer to what Bill Cosby was too much of.
Carry on.
How do you use “taking the piss”? I like the idea, but have trouble using it correctly.
It’s just the same as ‘extracting the Michael’!
You could use it as a replacement for “are you shitting me?”
eg
Geezer: How much are them jellied eels mate?
Pearly King/Queen: 10 bob a paaahnd me ole china.
G: You what? Are you taking the piss?
or to mean “make fun of”
eg
“Let’s all go to the Pit and take the piss out of Kayaker”
‘Bob’s your auntie’s live-in lover!’
Me too. I consider it a Germanism.
One of my first jobs, a staff member pulled me aside and told me to stay clear of the boss - he had WHT.
Wandering Hand Trouble.
I wasn’t aware that “dodgy” was a Britishism. I use it a lot, to describe something that is suspect or possibly unsafe.
I like the Britishism “bint”, as I don’t think there’s an American equivalent word. “Bitch” is meant for a mean, nasty woman, but I apply the word “bint” to a female lunkhead. Like the ones who walk oafishly out into traffic mid-block while staring at their cellphones.
Or, “Do a piss-take on Kayaker” .
(Source: British boyfriend.)
The same British boyfriend kindly mailed me a copy of* Bridget Jones’ Diary *before it was available in the US, so I may have been the first American in the southeastern US to use the terms"fuckwit" and “fuckwittage”. Bonus: I got a bunch of westside-living, pickup-truck driving, line-dancing, country-music listening women to also use those terms! 
Also, I’ve made up the phrase “Buggering Buggeries!” to express frustration with a situation.
There’s too much fuckwittery going on around here!
A Canadian acquaintance of mine was impressed when I described Donald Trump as a “bell end”. He tells me he intends to seek opportunities to use that as often as possible.