[QUOTE=GorillaMan]
‘Munter’ - I thought that was pretty much universal, if mostly supplanted by minger nowadays. Plus it also offers us the verb ‘ming’.
‘Twonk’? Never heard it.
For a detailed sociological study of chavs, see http://www.chavscum.co.uk/ 
[/QUOTE]
Never heard “twonk?”
Two uses in the North West of Merrie England 
“I’ll twonk you pal” (I’ll give you a good hiding)
“I’d twonk her” (I’d give her a good shagging)
No, I never have encountered either usage. I’ve never got into either situation when oop north, I suppose (not sure whether that makes the cup half full or half empty 
). Around here, the first one would certainly be replaced with ‘twat’, and pal with ‘boy’ or ‘mate’, depending how serious you are.
The usage of “pal” in 1, above, is a sign of contempt/sarcasm when used in that sentence.
Of course “twat” can be used but ooop here in’t frozzen norf we tend more to the sarcasm effect unlike you soft Suvvern poofs, or is it tractor boys?
Can never 'member if it’s you or Norrich
[QUOTE=chowder]
Can never 'member if it’s you or Norrich
[/QUOTE]
It’s us. “One-nil to the tractor boys” used to be sung by visitors to either Porman Road or (spit) Carrot Road when they’d gone behind. But Town started to adopt it, coming up with the response to Liverpool fans: “I’d rather be a farmer than a thief”. 
Anyway, it was a case of insults that didn’t cut very deep precisely because they’re so true. One of my pupils, who regularly goes to matches with her father, once told me she can’t wait until she’s a couple of years older, because then she’ll learn to drive his tractor. Yup, ‘Tractor Boys’, great insult :smack:
Cracking match today, if you didn’t see it then try and catch the highlights. To be honest we’re lucky to have got a point from it. And at least they’re still bottom. (BTW, the correct spelling is ‘naarrrrrridge’, pronounced as written 
)
I’ll most certainly watch the highlights, I’m a diehard footie fan and don’t care who is on, I’ll watch.
Unless it’s those bastard reds from mould traff, then I’d rather walk around town with a nail in my shoe
So, a plonker’s a dick, while a plank’s just dozy. Excellent, I’ll sleep better for knowing that.
Has anyone nailed (or, indeed, twonked) the etymology for Pollard yet?
as alluded to earlier, ‘Macca’ and ‘Mucka’ are nicknames the British tabloid press has coined for McCartney and his wife, in the latter case because of her past exploits as a topless model and (allegedly) a hooker. A *“mug 'a cha” *is a cup of tea. The tabloids are heavily into punning headlines, especially when they tie into current events such Heather Mills’ recent appearance in Dancing With The Stars.
How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea? was another one the Sun used recently on the occasion of the North Korean nuclear test.
Then what is a slapper, or slappa’, as a derogatory term in English slang?
[QUOTE=maggenpye]
Has anyone nailed (or, indeed, twonked) the etymology for Pollard yet?
[/QUOTE]
Do you mean as an everyday word, or a surname? If the latter, then I presume it’s a profession name (a la Miller, Baker and Smith), due to pollarding. I’m not aware of any modern usage of the word.
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou]
Then what is a slapper, or slappa’, as a derogatory term in English slang?
[/QUOTE]
A slapper is a guaranteed shag. There’s an overlap to Essex Girl jokes:
Q: How does an Essex girl fake an orgasm?
A: She drops her handbag.
(I’d have changed ‘handbag’ to ‘purse’ to help the merkins, but that would have really mucked it up.)
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou]
Then what is a slapper, or slappa’, as a derogatory term in English slang?
[/QUOTE]
Here ‘slapper’ is a derogatory term for an ugly, coarse woman. It often also carries implications of sexual promiscuity.
[QUOTE=maggenpye]
Ooh, this is the thread I’ve been waiting for…
Long time Eastenders viewer.
What’s a Shav? (Sp/ Chav?) What’s the difference between a Plank and a Plonker?
Is calling someone a Pollard a reference to the Little Britain character of Vicky Pollard?
[/QUOTE]
Lady Sovereign is famous chav. Chavs sort of resemble rap music fans in the U.S. The Wikipedia article is pretty good at explaining about them. ETA: Chavs often have a Croyden facelift also.
[QUOTE=Mk VII]
as alluded to earlier, ‘Macca’ and ‘Mucka’ are nicknames the British tabloid press has coined for McCartney and his wife, in the latter case because of her past exploits as a topless model and (allegedly) a hooker. A *“mug 'a cha” *is a cup of tea. The tabloids are heavily into punning headlines, especially when they tie into current events such Heather Mills’ recent appearance in Dancing With The Stars.
How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea? was another one the Sun used recently on the occasion of the North Korean nuclear test.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, but combining “Lady Mucca” (from the aforementioned combination of “Macca” and “Lady Muck”) with “Cha cha cha” (from her appearance on Dancing with the Stars) wouldn’t make much sense and would not come close to cutting it as a tabloid headline here. The headline has to make some kind of sense. British tabloids have the wittiest headline writers, and they surely wouldn’t settle for something as lame as that.
Changed title from “Britts” to “Brits” as it was getting on a poster’s last nerve.
[QUOTE=Zabali_Clawbane]
Lady Sovereign is famous chav. Chavs sort of resemble rap music fans in the U.S. The Wikipedia article is pretty good at explaining about them. ETA: Chavs often have a Croyden facelift also.
[/QUOTE]
Note to self: do NOT wear a ponytail EVER in UK again… :eek: (I never got the traction effect, though).
And I have to say, rap music ala chav is worse than the awful American stuff.
I also did not know that Sir Paul’s second wife used to be a dancer. That artificial limb didn’t slow here down at all, did it…
We merkins know what a handbag is thankyouverymuch.
[QUOTE=GorillaMan]
A slapper is a guaranteed shag. There’s an overlap to Essex Girl jokes:
Q: How does an Essex girl fake an orgasm?
A: She drops her handbag.
(I’d have changed ‘handbag’ to ‘purse’ to help the merkins, but that would have really mucked it up.)
[/QUOTE]
Not the best, best one is
Q: Why does an Essex girl wear knickers?
A: To keep her ankles warm.
Creases me up that one
[QUOTE=GorillaMan]
Do you mean as an everyday word, or a surname? If the latter, then I presume it’s a profession name (a la Miller, Baker and Smith), due to pollarding. I’m not aware of any modern usage of the word.
[/QUOTE]
As an insult. “You’re such a Pollard!”
I’m fairly sure it’s from Little Brittain, where Vicky Pollard is a Chav in training - bleach blond pony tailed gum snapping teen with and endless line in;
why it’s not her fault cause tracy, she’s a slag and all, she said bout tony in the bike shed and mons smacked her one and I never and she said nah an I said yea and she didn’t the cow and I wasn’t there anyway.
I’ve heard it at least twice on import TV shows. Once on Eastenders, once somewhere else, could just be the writers trying to be ‘relevant to today’s hip youth’. Especially if no-one UK based has heard it in general usage.
We just use skank, slag, bitch and slut here. So boring. Sigh.
What does a Chav put behind her ears to attract men?
Her ankles
The article in question: “Heather does Mucca Cha Cha”. Presumably the “mug o’ cha” is part of this really, really stretched attempt at a pun.
Even by the low standards of the Sun, that’s bad.
Oops, I see that was already posted.
Sorry.