lieu is my almost* twin, so he’s cool. 
*I was a year late
Yay, V-Bob! Glad you could make it–the MMP’s just not the same without you! We miss you–hope you’re back home soon!
Yay Bob! **Swampy[B/] is correct, demand drugs when you need them. Pain doesn’t make you macho, it makes you ouchy and I’m the only one allowed to-- erm, get well soon.
Speaking of Swampy, I think you can totally do the albino rhino (hey, it rhymes!] in your backyard. There was a guy in San Diego (d’you remember that one Scout?) who had scads of innappropriate/wild animals in his backyard, though it may have been a pygmy hippo he had, but anyway, I say it’s doable. Especially if you dress him up as animals appropriate for the city, like maybe a poodle. Glue on some pillow stuffing and claim your poodle has a little thyroid trouble. That, or he’s your seeing-eye rhino and you’re gonna call the ACLU if the animal police don’t stop treading on your rights, man.
I’ll bet you all thought you’d gotten rid of me, huh? Well, you didn’t. Oh sure I was thrown off by the non-Rue MMP and it took me all week to catch up, especially 'cause they seem to think I, I dunno, work around here. T’chuh, this is just where I hang out till they print my money.
My sister has a greyhound who is not a donor because she’s about forty hundred years old and greyhounds usually only live to be about thirty hundred years old. But the really cool part is that her name is Lucy! The dog, not my sister. She’s really nice and a very lazy cuddle bum. The dog, not my sister.
And FCM is right, dog names can end in stuff besides -ee sounding sounds. Like our first dog Whizzer who was the best short but long, black and white and caramel spotted short haired dog with pointy but floppy ears who could catch frogs and steal socks from the wash line and had to be kept away from me when I was little because he was named Whizzer for a reason and he didn’t like me at first because he was an only dog who came first and that useless pink lump his parents brought home one day was getting all of his attention now, ever.
My name is Ashes, Ashes and I dress my cats for Halloween and take pictures of them. Does it help if I mention that I don’t put clothes on them, just hats and scarves or whatever (because those people who put clothes on their pets are freaks and I haven’t worked up to that yet darnit). Last year they were gypsies with bejeweled turbans and gold coin necklaces. What concerns me is not that I spent hours making them, but that neither of them seemed to mind wearing the silly things. They were calm because they were plotting my death, weren’t they?
So I looked down in the general area of my breastes today and nearly had a heart attack. I had a chest hair! I’m a girl! No hairs on the chestal region for girls! It’s in the rule book, page 23, paragraph four. When the ground stopped swooping around so much, I looked closer and it was just a loose hair from my head. So Lissla, maybe you just have a loose hair on your chest, while you check, go get something good to eat, and you’ll see that the dizzy feeling goes away. If not, get your driving husband to take you to the doctor or something.
Oh, and the last chapter of my post is about The Mysterious Small Poo in the Living Room. Actually that about says it all. Oh yeah; now I figure out that brevity thing.
My dog was half German Shepard and half wolf and he was really big, and smart, and smelly, and his name was Loki, I don’t know why, and I miss him so much that I don’t ever want to have another dog, but if we get another dog we’ve decided it will be a Schnauzer, on accounta my aunt had a wonderful Schnauzer that we just loved.
So much for the OP.
Good onya Bobbio!
Where in the Hell is ** Kalley**? It is my ferverent wish that the reason she isn’t posting is that she has gotten herself a boyfriend, and she spends every free moment, that she used to spend with us, sending him lewd and lasvicious e-mails, with pictures even, which he responds to by sending her lewd and lascivious e-mails back, with expensive gifts.
Things I know about Rhinocerecoruseses:
They’re related to horses (I think)
They have terrible eyesight.
They tend to stomp on you first and forget to ask questions after.
They step in their own poop on purpose and track it around, again on purpose, to mark their territory.
Any or all of these facts may have been completely made up and have nothing to do with the actual facts.
Relatives of my husband came over for coffee and pastry on Sunday morning. They brought a dog with them, a sweet little very small cocker spaniel. And another woman who brought her pugs. Hyper, shniffling, shnorting pugs. They’re awfully cute, those little shnuffleupuses. So that was fun; we like dogs, though we don’t have one of our own. (Wah!)
But… the pugs came dressed. A pink dress for the girl, a blue romper suit for the boy. And the woman talked about shortening the sleeves of the girl’s dress many, many times. Many times. Over and over.
If I ever get like that, I want someone to shoot me.
There was once a Mysterious Small Poo in our living room.
Unfortunately it was made by a Small Person, not a dog.
Also unfortunately, it was exactly the same colouring as our wood flooring.
Even more unfortunately, I hadn’t had cataract surgery at that point, and I trod in it. EWWWWWWWW. What was worse, was that I went a few steps before I could stop myself.
And what was worst of all, as my visual range was about 7cm at that point, I had to get down on my hands and knees with my nose almost to the floor to find all the damn stuff to wipe it up.
Ug!
Good poo story Hokkaido Brit! Just what I needed to read right after breakfast. Ashes[sup]2[/sup] and The Mysterious Poo would be a good short story title or band name. Take your pick.
The more I think about a pygmy hippo might be better than an albino rhino. It’d take up less room than an albino rhino. Hippos are cute too. However HIPAA* is a nightmare from hell.
That’s all I got for now.
*Health Information Portability and Accountability Act. Go read up on it.
A Special Certificate of Achievement or Sumpin’
This is to certify that Our Pal
VunderBob
posted way too early after some Major Surgery. (“Major Surgery” is anytime they [size=1](“they” being doctors in the best case scenario) cut you open and take something out or put something in or move stuff around and then sew you back up again. Anything bigger than having your tonsils taken out is “Major Surgery”.)[/SIZE]
As happy as I (and I can only assume “we” since we’re all caring people that way) am to hear from Our Pal
VunderBob
he should really get back to ogling the nurses and taking his medication.
Or taking the nurses and ogling the medication.
Either way.
[RIGHT]Yer pal,
-Rue.[/RIGHT]
IMHO, dressing pugs is just WRONG!! There is something evil about making a funny-lookin’ canine even more ridiculous with a layer of ill-fitting cloth. I’m just sayin’ is all.
There’s a guy around town who owns a window tinting company who drives around in his company truck with three dogs riding in the back who all wear custom-made wrap-around sunglasses. At least he doesn’t make them wear the company teeshirts.
YAY, BOBBIO!!! You are my hero!!
But hb, was it a warm poo or a cold poo? That makes a difference, ya know. 
swampy, ain’tcha afeared the pigmy hippo would poo in your pool?
Tupug
We seem to be talking about poo a lot. Is that because lieu is here?
'Tis true we spend a lot of time on poo lately. There was a time puke was a big topic but it seems poo has replaced puke. Oh well, maybe Brody will puke up something awful soon and we can have many posts on pet puke again.
Or maybe Rue will get around to showin’ us some cute puppy pics. I’m gettin’ kinda impatient waitin’ on em. :dubious:
Yeah VBob! But I gotta agree with Rue - you posted to let us know you were okay, so now go back to sleep. And don’t call again until yer better. Or at least home.
Just don’t create a monkappotomus - it combines the throwing capability of a gorilla with the digestion track of a hippo. Not a good idea.*
And to get us off of poo, I offer this: A news story last night had an interview with one of the engineers for VDoT (which stands for sumptin like ‘Virginia Doesn’t Offer Transportation’) about a bridge problem over the weekend. One of the main drawbridges in Norfolk wouldn’t close Saturday afternoon. Anyway, the engineer said it was a problem with “the electronical data” that the controller was receiving.
What does “electronical” mean? Is it a perfectly cromulent word?
*I saw one on a TV show or sumptin o9nce. It may have been a documentary or a sitcom. I get them confused sometimes.
It was a freshly-dropped, positively HOT poo to my cold bare feet. EEEk!
And it squished between my toes.
Yay, VBob/Bobbio! I was wondering last night how things had gone for you. Glad to hear you’re doing ok.
Hokkaido Brit, I think I have to scrub my brain now. That’s AWFUL!
I was afraid of that. At least it wasn’t on carpet. Squishy poo on carpet is the worst!
My apologies to the MMP for yet another poopy post.
Yes. Yes, they were. Are. You may want to reconsider letting them sleep with you.
I’m back! Not that I went all that far, but I haven’t been on the board since last week, so it feels like I’ve been gone. But now I’m so busy at work I couldn’t even get through the whole MMP yesterday; I had to finish reading it this morning. Damn phone! I’ll have to come back later.
I feel better today. And I have received some wonderful news:
Our upstairs neighbours are moving out on the 19th.
Someone can take my shift at work on Thursday and I can go to the VNV Nation concert!!!! Whee! I’m very excited.
President’s Choice (a really good store brand) is making s’mores ice cream. I may buy some today.
On the funny/weird side, we got a governmental letter telling us that we needed to notify them of our change in marital status if we want them to process our taxes. :rolleyes: Thanks, guys. it’s amazing you didn’t twig last year, when we filed as married, that we are, you know, married.
On the bad side, the radio just told me that it may be an unusually hot summer. It is presently about 30C and it’s only frickin’ June! I think that’s about 90F. It’s too bloody hot for Toronto. And this is the third day. Grumble.
We should probably send bob a healthful alternative to a box of chocolates or something. A wombat? Can you eat them?
Or maybe a possum? No, he probably cannot.
VBob, you are amazing! I, too, was wondering, but there was no way we would hear from you this week, and then this act of heroics, or desperation, or both.
Swampy, if you got a pigmy hippo, you could just say it was a pot-bellied pig with a thyroid problem. And were you comparing HIPAA to poo stories?
I bet we would stop talking about poo (and stop picturing the albino rhino suffering from something similar to Rue’s puppy’s problem…oh, my) if we got…
puppy pictures!
Well Sean, you tried to de-rail the poo train. (Poo-poo train?) It didn’t work though, now did it? But it was cute of you to try.
If you ever find that you need to get from Salem, IL to Edelstein, IL you have two alternatives. The first is you can drive 229.14 miles or 3 hours and 48 minutes. It’s mostly interstate highway. Or, you can drive an hour and a half to St. Louis, sit in the St. Louis airport for two hours and take an 8 PM flight to Peoria where you will arrive at approximately 9:15 PM, rent a car and drive 15 miles to the Super 8 Motel in Chillicothe, IL where you’re actually staying. I learned that about an hour ago. Guess where I’m going in August for work?
Guess what else, in case I didn’t already mention it? I gots me a laptop or notebook or whatever the heck you call those things. It’s an older one but it works. I also have a brand new modem card thingy that I think will work with it. I’ll find out this evening. ACBG is in Savannah at some kinda Home Health Conference thingy til late Thursday so I’m having to entertain myself this week. He left yesterday morning from my house. He forgot to lock the back door. I was not pleased but I didn’t say anything when I talked to him cause I miss him. 
That’s just sickening ain’t it.
Bobbio, should you be readin’ the MMP any today, hope you’re healing well and gettin’ good drugs.