I use all acceptable-looking public toilets in exactly the same manner as I use my home toilet for the same purposes. And my ass hasn’t fallen off yet. I really don’t understand this EEEEWWWW!!! DON’T TOUCH IT DON’T TOUCH IT!! thing. It’s not like I’m french-kissing the thing and giving it a massage and then sticking my fingers in my mouth without washing them. Do you have the same issues with public door handles?
For me, part of ‘checking’ is to grab 5-6 squares of TP, wad 'em up, and use it to wipe down the toilet seat. That way if there was anything I didn’t see, I’ve probably gotten it up. It’s not exactly rocket science.
I asked that in the first thread where AIW referred to herself as a “hovercraft girl” (cue Neil Young: “I want to live with a hovercraft girl…”), but never did get an answer.
They could even put one of those seat protectors over the rim of the bowl, just in case. And it would eliminate any chance of their splattering the seat.
Now if we could just convince guys who pee in the stall, standing up, to lift the seat, life would be good. In my office, there’s clearly some guys who either think their aim is better than it is, or who just don’t care.
Ah-hem… well then you are excused.
of course, you could just put down a couple of the toilet seat protectors then sit. That’s what they’re for. Hovering is just so damn akward and uncomforatable, it’s just too damn hard to fully enjoy the bathroom experience when one is hovering.
Besides, isn’t a hospital one of the most sanitary places one could work? That would be the one place I wouldn’t even hesitate to plop my keister down. :dubious:
Okay, okay, I’ll stop. For now.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HO HO HO HO CHORTLE CHORTLE GUFFAW GUFFAW
You really, really have to be joking. A hospital is probably one of the DIRTIEST GERM RIDDEN places to work. I mean, there are all those SICK people. And no, I’m not being facetious.
Trust me - if yer gonna hover anywhere, a hospital is the place to hover.
Yick.
What the hell were they eating? Dog squeakies?
Once again I offer my sensible and sane solution. Place a piece of toilet paper (at least 3 squares) on one side of the toilet seat. Repeat for the other side of the toilet seat. Do a quick check to make sure there was no liquid on the seat; if so, the paper will absorb some and it will be very obvious. If there is liquid, wipe down and repeat. If there is no liquid, then place your bum on top of the toilet paper which is on top of the toilet seat. You will not splatter, since you are not hovering. Your body is not contacting the toilet in any way. When finished, shove the toilet paper you were previously sitting on into the loo and flush. The universe smiles upon you and all is right with the world. Is this so hard?
So you’re telekinetic? Or do you just leave the door swinging wide open so the whole world can see? 
Actually, Myrr21, I tuck my hand into my shirt sleeve, or use the handle of my key ring to manipulate the door handles. I don’t even think about it - it just happens automatically.
Bizarre, I know.
Really, I was doing ok. I work in the research wing of the facility where there are no patients - just researchers and students. Generally, the bathrooms are better. At the hospital they are really, really nasty. Trust me - if you’re thinking that they use the same techiques to clean the public washroom as they do to clean an OR suite - nay. That’s a big, fat nay.
I was progressing. As I said, I had managed the hand hover as well as the TP seat sit. I had even managed a one cheek perch. Then this incident happened and it has completely set back my progress.
Bleh.
A hospital is (in theory) clean, for the same reason that a sewage treatment plant, has nice drinkable water in it.
Because they know it’s full of sick people so they know they have to keep it pretty damn clean!
(I did say ‘in theory’)
Whenever these threads come up, I always feel like the last person in North America would couldn’t care less about touching things in a public washroom. I sit on the seat, I touch the flusher, the faucets, and the door handles - no big deal. I used to work as a lab tech in the days before we used gloves all the time - I have probably had thousands of other people’s blood and urine on my hands at one point or another. It just doesn’t bother me - it all washes off. As for urine, it is one of the cleanest fluids to come out of the human body. There is almost nothing in urine - it’s just slightly used water.
Now, I will wash my hands with soap and hot water after touching money or shaking hands with people. I would much prefer to touch other people’s urine than their gross, grimy, nose-picking, butt-scratching hands.
As for hospitals being clean, I agree with Al 100 percent. I keep my hands to myself and wash them after being in a hospital, and I would advise everyone to do the same. Hospitals are pretty much disease exchanges.
You’re not the only one, trust me. I sit my ass right down, I hit the flush handle with my hand instead of my foot, and I open all doors with my actual bare fingers!! ::sigh:: I just don’t get the extreme germophobia, especially about things that happen in the stall, like this whole foot-flushing thing. You are going to walk right out of the stall and wash your hands anyway!! I just don’t get it, I guess. Haven’t lost an ass yet, so I’ll keep doin’ what I’ve been doin’.
After reading this thread and thinking “that’s way too squemish,” I have to confess that I joined the ranks of the hoverers today.
Not because of squemishness, but because the fricken door to the stall kept swinging open while I was in there. Damn!
I have to say, if you women do this all the time, you must have Thighs of Steel.™ This is a damn good exercise to add to your isometric routine: the Hover Crap.
You have no idea.
You’ve just rocked my world, and not in a good way. That was indeed, my theory. Fortunately, I don’t spend too much time in hospitals, but now if I ever have to, I’ll make sure and carry a container of Lysol with me… 
And featherlou I too am in the “I don’t give a fuck” camp. I walk in, look to see if anythings on the seat, if there is anything, I wipe it off, sit down, do my business, get up, flush with my hands (gasp!) wash said hands and mosey on out. The only places I ever get squeamish in are outhouses and gas station restrooms that reek. Otherwise, whatever.
I wonder, do hoverers hover when they’re in their friends/family’s bathrooms? I ask this because I work in a union hall where I’m the only female. There’s a single female restroom that due to the fact that I am the only girl here, is pretty much my private bathroom. My assistant (who doesn’t work in this building) told me that when she is here and uses the restroom, she hovers. I got kinda offended. I mean, I’m the only one who uses that bathroom, was she implying that i’m somehow, not clean?
Lets just say it depends on the friends. Which sounds rude, but I don’t mean it that way.
Suffice it to say that I have friends that live in multi-bachelor pads. Their bathrooms put the skankiest truck-stop rest-room to shame.
Trust me.
However, usually at someone’s house I just plop my butt down. If I like people well enough to eat their food, I certainly like them enough to put my butt on their seat.
good rule of thumb alice
Well, heck, one more time for all you hoverers:
Why don’t you put the seat up, and hover over the bowl, rather than leave the seat down and hover over the seat?
Obviously you’ve never had the seat slam into your ass when you’ve been trying to do this. If you thought just hovering made a mess (which I always clean up, even though I seldom make because I have impecable aim, thankyouverymuch) you have no idea what sort of mess being knocked forward into the door mid-stream makes. Trust me on this.
And yes, I cleaned up that mess too.
Huh. The only toilets I’ve ever had a problem with the seat falling forward/downward are in people’s homes where they have the fluffy coverings on the lid of the seat and the lid of the tank, so that there isn’t enough room for the seat to go as far back as it needs to.
Public toilets, never.