Boy am I in trouble. My chances of moving up in this (or any) company are zero. I grew up here in the U.S. speaking and reading English, and I don’t think I’ve understood more than 1/3 of this thread.
I guess I’m just a dumb telecom tech who can get broke things working again, but can’t be trusted with anything important.
Is there a class I can take or something, where I can learn to bullshit like you fine people. 
I’m on the same boat with you on that one, ianzin. Of course, I’m co-sponsoring this project based task force, so I would expect anyone that reports into me -by means of dotted or solid lines- to fully back me up on this one.
Now, how’s about a facilitary stop for some calory intake process management, combined with a possible parallelly fenced off output session?
I once saw an agenda for a day of meetings that included two “de-watering breaks”. I could only wonder.
Well, first you need a period of analysis to identify your core requirements and bullshit deficiency vectors, then we will assign you a personal learning facilitator, to tailor the learning curve pro-actively on an ad-hoc basis.
Huh? 
OK, I’ll try to drill down to something more accessible and cross-platform; after an initial gap-analysis phase, you will have explored your key areas of vacuum and will be in a position to cherry-pick the smorgasbord, building a customised skillset suitable to be bolted down to your need-base.
So what your saying is I need to exploit my opportunities for learning new paradigms. Possibly using innovative cutting-edge technologies of a cross-media variety. If I play my cards right, I could maximize dynamic relationships for future, upwardly mobile possibilities.
Took about 1/2 hour to compose this, I hope it makes no sense.
sniff
Our little boy’s all grown up! I feel the tears welli…
Uh.
Fugazi is showing a lot of potential in the creative speech field. With a little troubleshooting, we should be able to massage him into a worthy asset to our field of expertise.
I suggest that he sieze the moment and interface with a suitable resource pool, focus on directly addressing the immediate domain and create a sustainable input flow.
Its time to Focalise our objectives, people, so we can Vocalise our Solutions.
I’m going to run this one up the flagpole and see who salutes.
Today we’re gonna implement, across the real-time data-sharing matrix, a cross-channelled network utilizing our synergistic substructures through a multi-vectored approach while rationalizing all incumbent data and data sub-sets, as well as the newly-developed detailed derivitave data. The expected outcome of this holistic organizational progression is a wholly new, and autonomously adaptive benchmarking of all Critical Business Issues, including the rapid classification of confluent, convergent, contiguous, and consecutive Critical Business Processes. Our metrics will identify a superfluity of internal resources which may then be leveraged against foundational cross-cultures and destabilized-markets.
Okay? Let’s first set the focal feedback parameters being mindful of the pitfalls inherent in all activity-based structure queries and metastasized management methods . . .
Certainly, but we should begin by deconstructing the linear package. We need to unlearn.
Perhaps, but you should definitely look at optimizing this paradigm shift in order to fully encapsulate the market niche. You definitely forgot to encapsulate the market niche.
Here I stand, GANTT charts at the ready, to ensure that: our timeline is realistic, we make our milestones, and have our deliverables (or really really good reasons for not having them) market-ready.
Or have I not progressed far enough from the tech ranks to realize that deliverables are not required? 
Mission deliverables, I think you meant to say.
:o
Of course.
:makes note to have secretary fired:
In order to facilitate the optimization of this development stream, I feel we require an immediate brainstorming session. As properly empowered employees, I’m sure we all realize the importance of locale - say - Tonga? At company expense, of course.
It’s absolutely vital to the creative process. We must ensure that our results are completely innovative, and untainted by contact with the present less than efficient structure. The salubrious climate will offer fewer distractions, and the frequent relaxation interludes will ensure that participants will be fully rejuvenated, ready to meet the massive challenges posed by this project.
I do realize that this is actually suggesting an action, but in my experience, apparently senior executives do exactly this as they are envisioning new directions to ensure our pre-eminence in the industry.
/side note/
We’uns on the front line never could tell what the hell they were looking at for their visions. Mushrooms, maybe.
/side note/
I’d just like to touch bases with you all and make sure I’m up to speed on this. At the end of the day it’s a Dog Eat Dog world out there and we need to focus on benchmarking our core competence against the market. Optimising monetary logistic flows combined with breaking up the throughput into a natural flowcharts is the ticket. You know it takes two to tango? I’m gonna take a charte blanche on this and run with it and assume that we all are aligned.
Hey! Who moved my cheese?
By accelerating response patterns, we can boost this mission-critical associative undertaking to DEFCON 3. C’mon, people! Stock options could be implicated!
(Oh, and UB? If our management methods are metastasizing, I can broker a consult with a spin doctor. Sound good?)
The process Subcommittee has published a must-read Executive Summary of the minutes from its Tonga liaison session. It’s access available on the acquisition actions database (run the accounting applet first).
Another uptick or 3 and our pro formas will be actualized.
I’d like to see the summary dumbed-down, or better still transposed to a layered mode of acessibility - weigh the pros and cons of presenting it as a multimedia immersion.
May I just spark down through some of the brain cloud here? I disagree. It’s all very well strategising a pro-modular top-down revisioning exercise which we can workshop offline of this thread, but frankly that’s a Skyhook solution that won’t bring fresh meat to the mindfest. Let’s at least facecheck the facts and get into bed with the realities. Having opened the door to a broad raft of high-octane win-think scenarios, we all got on board the Can Do Train and signed on the dots for a re-clarificationing that would energise our core potential, leverage our mindware assets, slipstream our Competitor Deflection Activity and at least get us to Base Camp on the Mountain New Gameplan. But now I hear speak of ‘layering our modes of accessibility’ and looking for another ‘uptick’ before we sperm the deal and crap the caviar. Let’s work the program, people!
I say we stop looking for a blow job off the Pope’s wife, shish kebab the delays, give a sayonara sandwich to the Wailing Walleys and flush the ‘won’t work’ chorus down the crapper at Can’t Be Done Canyon. It’s time to rev the rocket, kick the chocks, swing the donk and power fly this team into the wide blue yonder of our golden tomorrows. I for one am not prepared to take Superman’s dildo up the ass just because a few sewer-vision think-flunkers are happy pissing around in the shallow end when we could be sucking the tits off our potential and giving an armoured fist up the choccy chute to our rivals.